Regrets?

"I've never missed any of the stuff I got rid of!" 

I've heard more than one person say that after downsizing. But... 

I cannot honestly say that. There have certainly been things that I have missed - and there have been more than a few second thoughts about things that are gone. 

Does it hurt sometimes?

Yes, it does.

Do I make some bad decisions about what to keep and what to pitch?
Probably.

But you know what?
It is a process.
I am learning.
Certainly I will make unwise decisions.
Certainly it will be hard.
Of course, there may be regrets.
That's life!

But am I sorry that we took steps to change things and to be intentional about changing course for this season in our lives?
Absolutely NOT!

We are so, so thankful that we found the courage to do this thing. It has been well worth the cost and the occasional sadness or pain.

After all, if we had just stayed where we were and not made the changes, pain and sadness and difficulty would have come our way anyway. And we would have still been stuck there. How much better to have done the hard stuff so that we could get free to do the fun stuff!

...

In hindsight, as I look back from my new place of freedom, I'm thinking that perhaps "regret" is not the right word.  I think a better way to describe it is that there have been things that I grieve. I mourn the loss.  Several losses. I may have had to grieve when letting it go and I may have had to grieve since then.  It's okay.  It is healthy even - to take the time to mourn our losses.  

But it is not exactly the same as regret.

So yes, I mourn the losses, but I don't regret that we have done this thing.

That we have paid the price for our new freedom.

I love where we are now and I am very grateful.

The one-year lease

On that night many years ago we spoke of crazy ideas for the future.

Maybe we could sell the farm…

Maybe we could explore a bit…

Maybe we could experiment with different living situations…

Maybe we could live in an apartment.  

We had never lived in an apartment.

It might be fun.

Maybe we could rent a loft in a big city.

Maybe we could find a fixer-upper house near a university so we could rent rooms to international students.

Maybe we could go to the tropics for the winter.

Maybe we could get an RV and live on the road for awhile…

Maybe we would like to be free of land ownership.

Then again maybe we would decide to re-invest in another place.

…

Lots of ideas

We wondered what it would be like to try some of them.

We wondered if we could pull any of them off.

We knew it would take lots of steps to make it happen.

It would be a journey.  For sure.

It would require some huge steps.

Obstacles. Hurdles.

There would also be small steps.

Lots and lots of small steps.

…

We decided to give it a try.

To begin to move toward some of those dreams.

The first step would be to get free.  

Free of the stuff.  

Free of the property.

That would require some MAJOR downsizing.  

Forty years in that house meant the acquisitions and collections of a lifetime had taken root in closets, corners and storage areas.  

What a huge job!

But we began.

And we continued.

We wondered if we would ever get free.

It took months and months, but we kept going.

Piece by piece, box by box, we got ourselves free.

Finally it happened.

A date was set and we moved the last personal items out of the house so it was ready for new occupants.

…

The next step would be to experiment and explore.

To check out other places before deciding whether and where to settle down.

And that idea of living on the road...

Let’s see if it can make it work.

Mostly let’s see if we like it.

We did try part of one winter in a warmer place.

And then another winter… and another…

We did find a used RV.

We did figure out how we could afford to live on the road.

We did explore most of the corners of this country.

And we DID enjoy it.

We wondered out loud how long we would want to be full-timers.

In some ways we could imagine being content to do it for awhile.

On the other hand, there were some things that we didn’t so much love about it.

’Tis a lonely life - moving to a different place every month. Hard to put down roots or make friends. Then again we still didn’t know whether we wanted to put down roots yet.

And then there was the missing the kids and grandkids.  That was hard.

But there was another thing that kinda’ snuck up on us and surprised us.

It was almost as if we ran out of places to explore - at least with this mode of travel.

Sure; there were still lots of places that we would like to visit, but not with the rig.  Many of the places still on our list would probably be better explored with a small car or by train or plane.

Besides we remembered that we wanted to experiment with other housing options. 

And so we did.  We stayed in VRBO’s* here and there. We did get the small car for some fun road trips. We tried AmTrak and have decided that we definitely want to do that again - especially for some longer trips.

Suddenly (or maybe gradually) we found ourselves deciding to come off the road. 

To park the rig and settle down in one place for awhile.  

To try another Michigan winter. 

A one year lease seemed to be a good plan.

One year is not a huge commitment. Not a great risk.

A year might be long enough to let our souls catch up with our bodies.

Another chance to experiment.

A chance to explore a new part of Michigan and really get to know a place.

A chance to finish processing the rest of the stuff that has been in storage.

And so we did it.

We signed that one-year lease and we settled in.

We cleaned out our storage unit and we got rid of more stuff.

We discovered that there are many things that we enjoy about apartment dwelling.

We like our little town and we worked hard at trying to become part of it.

It has been a great landing spot for us in so many ways.  

It is close enough to our old stomping grounds that we can easily connect with friends and family. It is near enough to the grandkids to have regular contact.

And it is close enough to several universities that we have finally been able to start hanging out with international students.

Yes, it has been so good to stay put in one spot for awhile.

It has been a chance to ponder whether we will ever go back to life on the road.

And it has been good to continue purging those last few bins and boxes that got moved out of the big house without being processed. The goal is to get through the rest of them by the time our lease runs out next month. 

…

So what will we do at the end of that one-year lease?

Well, that is exactly what we have been wondering.

And that will likely be the topic of another post.

But I can say that this one-year lease has been a good thing.

Just what the doctor ordered.

We are grateful.

And... we look forward to the adventures that await us in the next phase.

...

Fast forward to the future - to find what we did at the end of that one-year lease.