Not wanting to be UNgrateful

Thankful Thursday: 

When I pause to think of something I’m thankful for…

When it’s rainy and drismal…

When those glorious leaves are being stripped from the trees.

When nothing great or exciting is at the forefront of my mind to be giddy about…

Yes, then I pause.

Because I want to cultivate the practice of gratitude.

I choose to notice - and even search if necessary.

Yes, I’m thankful for a cozy house. And for an un-busy schedule so I don’t have to be out and about nor bother with an umbrella or sensible footwear.  I’m thankful to be safe and comfortable in my own house.

But then I think of so many who are not.

And then my heart hurts and my eyes drip.

I wonder why I am so fortunate.

So blessed.

I wonder how I can bless others.

How can I make a difference in a world of violence and oppression and injustice?

It feels weird… petty… insensitive… to regale the things for which I am thankful when those things are unavailable to so many across the globe.  

But then again, to NOT be grateful for my blessings would be so… ungrateful.

Like a spoiled selfish child. 

Such an ingrate.

So I keep reminding myself to notice…

• Blessings
• Flickers of hope
• Ideas for how to help others
• People who make a difference

Blessed to be a blessing...

Back in the old days my friends and I spoke of poverty and world hunger and how we are so rich compared to most of the world. 

We spoke of feeling almost guilty about having so much when others had so little. 

We found ourselves wondering if it was selfish to spend money on ourselves or if we should find ways to give it all away. 

(Well, maybe we didn't go that far!)

But we did talk about whether it was extravagant to spend money for a gallon of paint for our living room - in light of starving children in Africa.

I suppose we each came up with our own conclusions.

And I suppose we have changed those ideas through the years.

I also remember asking myself the question "Why are we so blessed?" Why in the world were we born in a land of plenty while others seldom have enough? I didn't know how to make sense of questions like that so I chose to change the nuance of the question. Instead of looking for a “reason" for being so blessed, I began to wonder if I could find some “purpose" in it. 

Is there something I can do with my blessings? 

My bounty? 

Something I could/should do with my plenty?

Well, certainly there is. With great privilege comes great responsibility.

Over the years I gradually developed a philosophy and a mantra, I guess. I came to believe that we are “blessed to be a blessing” and I even preached sermons around that theme.

 I haven't preached any sermons for a long time - well, at least not from a pulpit. But I do still believe that there is value in that little mantra. I still think that part of my grateful response to being blessed can and perhaps should be to share that blessing with others. 

There are a variety of ways to do that - some obvious and others more subtle.  It can be tricky to discover the best ways - which might mean the safest or the most compassionate - requiring sensitivity and wisdom. But I hope I keep trying.

Golden

Fifty years!

How could it be?

…

Guests could start arriving soon so we all headed inside to get cleaned up and dressed up.  When I came downstairs and noticed Riley’s gold shoes I told her that this is our Golden Anniversary.  “That’s what Grandpa said!” she laughed.

…

Golden Anniversary  

1971 to 2021

Not sure I ever thought much about the chances of making it to 50 years.  

People who celebrate Golden Anniversaries are old; right?  

Maybe I didn’t often imagine myself getting old.  

And suddenly here we are.  I don’t feel old.  Well, except for those stiff joints.  

But how did we get here so quickly?    

And why are we the lucky ones who get to be together this long?  

Some people call it an accomplishment.

Others ask what’s the secret.

I don’t think there’s any secret.  

No magic formula. 

Maybe we’re just lucky.

Blessed.

I don’t know why we get to celebrate this milestone.  

But I guess that’s the way with privilege.  No rhyme or reason to it.

…

Eugene, one of our foreign exchange students, texted greetings from Russia.  He said that they call the 50th a golden anniversary there.  We told him we do here as well.

Bob’s mom gifted us with a gold plate.  Well, a plate with gold trim.  A family heirloom.  It was given to her parents on their 50th wedding anniversary in 1962.  Grandma Grody left the plate to Mom & Dad Sims who then celebrated the golden milestone in 1995. ... How cool that Mom is still alive to pass it on to us and celebrate with us.  Wow.  Such a thing gives one pause. We feel honored. Privileged. Blessed.

I still don’t know why we are so fortunate. So blessed.

Why us?

Why did we both survive cancer when so many friends and family members didn’t?

Maybe there is no answer.

But one thing we know.

We know that it is a gift - one that we definitely appreciate. 

Cherish.

Celebrate.

We are grateful. 

Because gratitude is pretty much always a good idea.

Gratitude is golden.

Somber day, somber year

Feels like a somber 4th this year.

Feels like a somber year.

So unusual

Weird

Surreal

No friends gathering in the back yard tonight to view the fireworks...

Because …  no fireworks show this year

No gathering with family for months now

No snuggling with grandkids…

...

I’ve always been grateful to be an American.

I used to be proud…

But this year, I am humbled and sad.

I am embarrassed about how little I really knew about the history of my country.

And so this Fourth of July finds me more serious.

• Somber
• Quieter - well, except for fireworks exploding every night for weeks now!
• More thoughtful
• More intentional
• Choosing to listen to voices that I have not bothered to hear before
• Choosing to listen and learn
• Noticing how I have benefited from racism
• Processing how to handle my privilege

...

Speaking of privilege... 

Takes me back to my years in church leadership.

I used to preach sermons about a proper attitude about our blessings.

I used to sign my letters with the closing, "Blessed to be a blessing"

Because I really believed that I was...  blessed SO THAT I could be a blessing.

And I still believe that.  

I still want to use my blessings to bless other people.

That's the kind of person I want to be.

"With great blessing

comes great responsibility..."

But there was so much I did not realize.

It had not occurred to me that some of my blessings and some of my privilege came at such an unfair cost to others.  Well, maybe I knew parts of it.  Bits and pieces.  But maybe I had not yet taken time to get quiet and somber enough to sit under the truth that so many of our systems are cruel and unjust.  

Methinks this processing will be a LONG journey.  

But I have started.

…

On this day commemorating freedom and independence, I am embarking on a quest to learn how to stand for freedom for those Americans whose skin is darker than mine.  

I have much to learn.

I wish I had known better sooner.

I wish I were farther along.

But I am where I am.

And I can only start where I am.

Now I choose to know better. 

... so that I can do better.

Simply gifts

Thankful Thursday

~  ~  ~

Some of the best things in life

are not tied to my great performance

or even to right behavior.

They are simply gifts.

I can try to justify my right to have them

or I can simply choose to be grateful.

~  ~  ~

I choose thankfulness.

I can choose my focus

Sad, discouraged, maybe even scared

What is happening?

Harsh words… 

Mean words 

Disrespect 

Friends sounding like enemies

Brings me down

Gotta’ find a different focus

...

Enter Maya Angelou.

I’ve had so many rainbows in my clouds.

I had a lot of clouds… 

but I have had so many rainbows.

When I step up on stage…

… or teach a class

… or produce a movie...

I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me with me…

I say “Come with me…  I need ya’ ”

So I don’t ever feel that I have no help.

…

And the thing to do…  

... is to prepare yourself so that you can be a rainbow…

Be a blessing to somebody.

That’s what I think.

…

Thank you, dear lady, for a fresh focus.

Thankful Thursday: thankful for... ME?

I started this thankful Thursday practice many, many years ago as a way to remind myself to be grateful. To stop and notice the good stuff. It has been an excellent exercise.  For awhile, I tried to to it regularly because it was so beneficial.  These days I'm not very legalistic about it - because it has already worked its magic!  

My perspective has gradually shifted.

I am so grateful for so many things. 

My man, who was born on this date, tops my list today because he is an integral part of so much of what is good about my life.  

- Our kids & grandkids

- Our life together and all of our adventures

- Our sense of mission and teamwork

- The encouragement he gives me

All amazing stuff.

But that’s not all.  There is more.

I have even come to a place where I can be thankful about some of the wonderful things about ME... and my personality and my worth.  

Whew!  That feels weird to say and until recently would have been a foreign concept.  I have made massive strides in the way I feel about myself.  

Self-love.  Wow.  

Self-care.  

Self-nurture.

Treating myself with kindness and respect.

…and with compassion.

I’m not there yet.  

Not perfect by a long shot.

I still get down on myself.

And I still complain and grumble...

But I’m getting better - at both loving myself AND being grateful.  

Lots healthier these days...

…

Funny thing.

A long time ago, one of my favorite people famously said to love my neighbor as myself.  For a lot of years, I tried hard to do that.

Now that I am learning how to love myself, it seems like it’s easier to love my neighbors. Like it comes more naturally.

Imagine that.

Funny how that works.

Or maybe it’s just that I happen to have such lovable neighbors!

At any rate, I am so very thankful on this Thursday.

Fireworks with friends

Fourth of July surprise

I just realized some things...

Sitting in a comfy lawn chair in my own backyard* with a perfect view of the fireworks exploding over the river...  I realized that this was one of the most comfortable and convenient settings from which I have witnessed a fireworks show.  

Great American values... comfort and convenience.

I also thought back over the years and realized that we didn’t often attend fireworks shows through much of my life.  Maybe it was too much bother to pack up chairs and blankets and load everybody into the van to drive to town and try to find a spot in a crowded park amongst the throng.

But now… here we are living in a city where the fireworks are launched less than half-a-mile from our house.  How cool is that?!?  A time to celebrate America and a time to celebrate new friendships.

And then I realized something else.

I realized that this might be the first time I had celebrated the Fourth of July with such a diverse collection of nationalities.  There we were gathered with representatives from several regions of the world - even though we had not planned it that way. I mean... we DID move here to be near Internationals and we DO often host events for them, but not this time.  This was just an informal gathering of new friends - who just happen to represent a bunch of other countries - like Brazil, Canada, Tonga, Nepal, India, Ecuador, Germany, England, Ireland, Mexico...  Sure enough; we are all from somewhere else.

Now there's another great American value: diversity!

It was about 5 generations back that my ancestors sailed across the ocean and came through Canada to Michigan and here we are - celebrating America’s independence with first and second generation immigrants.

Feeling blessed I am.

So very blessed.

In so many ways.

And so much wanting to bless others.

...

* Disclaimer: Well, ALMOST in my own back yard.  My chair was actually a few feet over the line onto our wonderful and generous neighbor's property.

Who were my champions?

 I just discovered these lines that I wrote awhile ago after having been asked about the things or the people who may have discouraged or restricted me through the years.  I was also asked about the people who were champions of my self-worth.  People who encouraged my creativity and my leadership skills.  I chose to focus mostly on the second question.

It wasn't hard to think of several who had discouraged me or restricted my options.  This was a good opportunity to remind myself that I no longer need to pay attention to those voices.

More importantly, as I look back over the years of my various ministries and think about those questions, others come to my mind who have been my champions.  It is too late to thank some of them but I want to express how very grateful I am for their support.

Topping that list are my dear partner Bob, my big brother Dave, my other brother Jerry, my father-in-law, and my long-time pastor Gary.

When others were saying that women couldn't be leaders, these guys were sending me articles about women who were. They were inviting me to speak from their pulpits.  They encouraged me to follow my calling and to use my voice and my words to influence people. They took me seriously when others chose to ignore or discourage my contribution.

Many women have been restricted and deeply discouraged if not downright prohibited from serving in leadership.  I have had a taste of that restriction and rejection - which makes me all the more thankful for those who have stood with me in support as I explored ways to fulfill my God-given potential.

I am so grateful for each of you and your partnership in the good work.

Why I love this place

I sure do love this place. 
This town, this neighborhood...
You ask why?
Lots of reasons...

• The Good Beans Cafe
• Art - so much art in this town, so many places to find art
• Music - all kinds of venues
• Races and festivals
• Diversity 
• History
• Walkability
• Bike-ability: 17 miles of bike trails along the river
  
  

But these are not why we came.  They are not why we moved to Flint. We didn't even know about most of these until we got here.  

We came to work with Internationals but we quickly found other reasons to stay.

I continue to be amazed by this place but it really does come down to the people. Sure enough. There is much to love about this town, but it is the people who make me feel at home here. 

Internationals:  
We have met students from 30 countries and we love hanging out with them.

Volunteers:  
Before we even moved here, the people we work with made us want to be part of this place.

Neighbors:  
What an amazing bunch of people.  They have welcomed us with open arms. I am already a better person for having known them. We are so grateful for our neighbors.

Our kids and grands:
Can't forget them. They were not the reason we came, but it sure doesn't hurt to have some of our family nearby.

Yep, I sure do love this place!
And yes, there are many reasons!