Fun adventures - and not so fun

Oh, man; what a moment that was!
I want to take time to feel all the feels…

This brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat.

“This” being a blog post I wrote four years ago about an adventure we had. About some really good moments that helped to make up for the hard ones…

I was just telling friends yesterday that I hope my writing doesn’t seem braggy. I really do not want to make readers feel badly if they don’t get to do such exotic things. Which I guess is why sometimes I choose to tell about the hard stuff, too. Well, and that's just realistic. 

Maybe that post does that.

It mentions the rough stuff.

True that I did not explain the details - perhaps because I didn’t want to say it out loud.

Maybe it’s time now four years later…

Let’s just say that there were rat encounters.  

In my happy place.

In my personal space!

There; I said it.  Sort of.

Makes me shudder to think about it.

But I survived and have reason to be proud of how I handled it all.

And I’m so, so grateful to be reminded of the really beautiful moments.

Hopefully my readers can do some of the same...

- To find reason to be proud of yourself

- To notice the wonderful moments

- To choose to be grateful for both - or at least that we survived...

Beaches

I love beaches.

I’ve found some wonderful beaches in my lifetime.

I cherish my memories (and my photos!) of them.

After traveling the last few years and living on the road for a couple of those, I am sometimes asked to name my favorite place.  That’s SO tough to do because there are so many factors that contribute to my feelings about a place.  

The same is true for beaches.

I do have some favorite beaches - and for various reasons.

There are the most beautiful beaches - picturesque beaches and idyllic beaches. There are also beaches that are amazing to live on - for a day or a week or longer. AND there are beaches for walking - which might be my very favorite things about beaches.  Said another way, beach-walking is one of my favorite things to do.

When trying to entice me to go south for the winter, my man did an amazing job of finding beaches for me to walk.  So I am celebrating the last day of February by remembering some of them.

My nominations for most beautiful beaches:

- Sturgeon Bay, Bliss, Michigan

- Playa Rincon, Samana, Dominican Republic

- Isla Vista, Santa Barbara, California

Beach camping:

Port Crescent State Park, Port Austin, Michigan - has become a favorite camping destination in the early autumn when the campground is empty and quiet.

Pacific Coast Highway, Seacliff, California - provides a single lane of campsites overlooking the ocean.  What a great spot!!!  And what a way to begin a new adventure!

Living at the beach:

- The Cove, El Frances, Samana, D.R.

- Dauphin Island, Alabama 

- Emerald Isle, North Carolina

- St. Augustine, Florida

- Big Sable Point Lighthouse, Ludington, Michigan - work and live in the keepers' quarters for 2 weeks

Relaxing on the beach:

The Cove

La Playita

Las Galeras

Emerald Isle

Beach-walking:

Sturgeon Bay

Port Crescent State Park - campground and day use park

Dauphin Island and Emerald Isle - sunrise beach walks

Las Galeras

Playa Rincon

           Photo credit to Bob Sims and Stacy Brown for some of these shots.

The first month back

Once upon a time we were driving along rice paddies and rows and rows of tall palm trees on a palm oil plantation. It had been a good winter in Las Galeras, a little town at the end of the road in the Dominican Republic. We had adjusted to the heat and humidity and maybe even the mosquitos. We were happy with our decision to live closer to town this time. How fun to be able to walk into town each day - for groceries, for French pastries or just to walk the beach. Many days I made more than one trip to town and sometimes accomplished all of the above. But on that particular day we were enroute to the airport to fly home to the good ole’ USA - and had already turned our thoughts to the new happenings on our calendar and especially to our family. 

Once back in Michigan, the first week saw us both sick with whatever stomach bug was making the rounds and surviving an ice storm in our little RV but we also had time to hang out with our kids and grands and both of our moms. We also checked out an apartment that was immediately available to rent - and we decided to take it! Somewhere in there, life got  busy. Soon we were choosing a few things from the RV to take to the new place and moving things from our storage unit. Many of the bins and boxes have not been opened since we moved out of the big house four years ago. We succeeded in emptying the storage unit well before the deadline. Major accomplishment.

And THEN we cared for grand-kids for five days while Mom and Dad attended a conference out-of-state. That week brought great fun, much laughter, lots of hugs, AND total exhaustion for Gramp and Gram.

But, oh what fun to be available to do that! This is exactly why we made the decision to stay put for awhile - to help out with these little guys and just to be near enough to enjoy special occasions with them. Events like a super-hero race!

So here we are - entering a new phase of life. Looking forward to good times ahead. Enjoying the chance to settle down and stay in one place for awhile. Having fun exploring our new community. But no, we are not abandoning travel. To the contrary Bob has already been studying maps to plan the next adventure, but this time with a small home base to come back to in between.

And yes, we will continue to wander about here and there. Now and then.

…

In many ways living in Las Galeras is quite different than living in Michigan. And yet some things are actually pretty similar.

• While in the tropics, I was always hot and sweaty; here I can enjoy wearing sleeves and extra layers.
• While there our schedule was pretty simple; here things can get hectic if we let them.
• Down there I could walk along the beach every morning. Not here.
• Down there we did not have a vehicle - so we walked wherever we needed to go. Here we can jump in our truck and drive pretty much anywhere.
• Down there; I missed my grand-kids badly. Now I can get to them within an hour or two.
• Down there I hauled the laundry down the stairs to wash it and then back up when it was clean. Here in our new apartment, I do pretty much the same routine.
• While in Las Galeras, we could seldom get ice cream; here we can find about any flavor we want.
• Down there we didn’t drink the water; here at our daughter’s house in Flint, Michigan, we don’t drink the water either. At least we try to remember not to…

Our last week here

Date:  3-15-16

Three more days until we leave

Location:  Our little studio apartment in Las Galeras

Outside: Raining and raining 

Hubby is: working on a photography project

Surprises: 

• Having a vegetable truck deliver to our gate twice a week
• Discovering one restaurant in town that actually puts bacon on burgers and pizza
• Enjoying empanadas any time of day
• Finding Snickers with almonds in the supermarket!
• Hearing tourists speaking English - quite rare

Made me laugh:  Remembering a WiFi password at a restaurant from three years ago

Blessings: Having internet at home that is quite reliable

Disappointments: 

• That the beaches were mostly not walkable this time.
• That I didn’t get a great tan.

Lessons:  Remembering that I really do not do well with heat and humidity

Reading:

• “Wild” - by Cheryl Strayed (paperback)
• “Start to Write” - by Christine Niles (computer)
• “Grace Rules” - by me, VERY rough draft (Kindle)

Watching tonight:  probably another CIA action suspense movie - unless it’s my turn to pick  

Several “last time” happenings:

• Last time to Playa Rincon 
• Last time to buy vegetables at our gate
• Last time to purchase laundry soap, T.P., eggs…
• Last time to wrestle with sheets on our little drying rack
• Last time to tutor "my girls" at the salon
• Last time to walk to the far end of town to use the ATM
• Last time to defrost this fridge

Looking forward to:  

• Air conditioning on travel day - so we can stand to wear jeans again
• So many things back in Michigan!!! 
• Seeing our kids and grandkids!!!  
• Cooler temperature!
• Comfort and convenience
• Our truck. I love my truck!
• Our own stuff (recliner, kitchen utensils, sheets and towels)
• Walmart & Meijer
• Waffles and sausages, real skim milk, meat choices, cheesecake, apple fritters, and 53 other things on the mental list we have compiled
• Salt that flows freely

Things I’ll miss:

• Small sweet bananas 
• Huge yummy avocados
• Empanadas
• Coconut gelato
• Platanitos*
• Flan from Boulangerie Marseillaise
• The people at La Plaza Marseillaise
• Conversing in Spanish
• Hearing French spoken every day
• Roosters crowing
• Dominican faces - friendly, helpful, beautiful faces

Things I’ll be glad to miss:

• The heat and humidity
• Mosquito bites
• Teeny, tiny ants that congregate around any dropped morsel of food
• Dogs - the aggressive ones and the loud shrill yappy ones
• Cats that sneak around your chair at restaurants
• Loud, loud music - the same songs EVERY night

...

* Platanitos = delightful snack chips made from platanos (cooking bananas); slightly salty and yummy

Disclaimer

As I wrote about our day at Playa Rincon below, I got all choked up thinking about all kinds of blessings I've received. 

But I also got a little scared and a little sad.

So then I wrote this disclaimer.

Disclaimer:

Once again as I write about the amazing adventures we have been able to discover, I find myself hoping that my readers will not feel discouraged or sad or jealous. Really. That really bothers me when I write. Because I know what it feels like to read stuff like this and to think, “Dang! I wish I could do that.” Or “I could never afford to go there.” 

I remember those feelings so well. I remember the obstacles very clearly and how large they loomed and how impossible it all seemed. 

In fact I still have to deal with those feelings - like when I visit a beautiful resort right on the water and wonder if we'll ever be able to stay at a place like that again. And then I come home and drag myself up the stairs to our little studio apartment where I can hear the waves but can't see them - because this is what we can afford. This is what we have been able to make work for this season in our lives.

I am the first to admit that we have been greatly blessed - in so many ways. We have obviously been the beneficiaries of some wonderful good fortune and I am grateful. 

BUT… 

There have been tough choices. 

We have chosen to make some huge sacrifices. 

BECAUSE we have become convinced that it is worth it.

All of our situations are different, and our obstacles are different but… and this is what I wish I could say to my readers… 

An obstacle mentality can keep us stuck. 

And that the turning point for me was when we began to ask “What if…?” as a positive question rather than just a scary one. That was when we began to get creative in searching for opportunities.

So please, PLEASE don’t let my stories discourage you just because they are different than yours.  Please don't think that they are better than your stories.

Maybe you don’t need or want to change your story.  Lots of times I read someone else’s story and think it is so cool, but at the same time it may help me appreciate details in my own life that I hadn’t noticed before. Are there things in your life that you could appreciate or enjoy more than you do?

Or maybe you DO want to make some changes. Let me remind you that even huge change often starts with very small steps. Teeny, tiny steps. So, so many of our changes have come about by such tiny steps that I fight discouragement all along the way.  My friends could tell you about some of the times when I start whining about how my progress seems to be so terribly slow.

...

And then there is the matter of perspective...

Okay; it's true that I might not be too happy if this were my house. I suppose I'd be whining and complaining. And probably (hopefully) I would be working hard to make some "needed" changes. I mean this is one UGLY house! Beat-up! Run-down! 

But when I stop and think that it is only one small part of a much bigger picture (Can you find this house in the photo at top of page?) maybe I would remember that some things just might be worth putting up with for the privilege of having a room with a view!

Or not...

So maybe there are questions to consider... 

What could/should you do with that difficult part of your life?

That ugly spot?

Are there changes that you can and should make?

What sacrifices are you willing to make to produce those changes?

On the other hand, what other things do you want to hang onto?

Which things are worth the discomfort and/or inconvenience of living where you do?

What are you willing to live with for the sake of something else?

...

Dear readers, 

I hope you love your own stories. 

I mean that.

I mean I hope there are lots of things in your story that you already love - or that you want to learn to love.

But I also hope that you choose to love your story - in that you are willing to make it into something wonderful. Something better. 

Farewell, Playa Rincon

It was 26 years ago in April 1990.

We had been living in the Dominican Republic for the school year and would be heading back to the USA in one more month. The time here had changed all of us in ways we could not yet imagine. Our horizons had been broadened, our hearts had been enlarged and our Spanish skills had been stretched more than we would have thought possible.

I know that it is easy to throw around the term “life-changing” particularly when talking about an intense cross-cultural experience so I don't want to use it lightly, but I’m convinced that it really was. We would go back to our lives in rural Michigan, but those lives would never be the same - because we would never be the same.

Culture stress had taken its toll on most of us but it had also awakened new compassion and empathy in us. It would forever change the way we would think and feel about people who were far from home because we now knew how that felt.

It had been a good year. Had flown by in some ways and dragged along in others. There were things that we sorely missed from home and so we were starting to get excited to get back there, but there was also a sense that this time was slipping away quickly so we wanted to grab the opportunities that might never again be available. 

Our girls were great campers so their dad had brought along a small tent in his suitcase hoping we might be able to make use of it here. He had been asking around and sure enough, he learned about Playa* Rincon and that we might be able to camp there. Our good friend, Don Mercer, told us how beautiful it was and how to get there. So we rented a micro-van and set out across the country** for a couple days during Semana Santa*** to enjoy our break from school.

What an adventure we had that week. Playa Rincon was like another world. Another universe. Far from the noise of the city and the raucous “carnaval" parades. Far from our school responsibilities - and even from language stress. Well, except for that one really bizarre conversation in some strange mix of Creole with the woman in the house on the side of the mountain! In the dark!!! Most of all this place seemed so far removed from our world back in Michigan.

…

These memories came flooding back as we headed out to Playa Rincon yesterday. The road has now been paved but I kept remembering how rough it was back in 1990. About how I wondered whether we’d ever find this wonderful beach. And about what we would do if we didn’t. About whether it would actually work to camp on the beach. About where we would sleep if it didn’t.

I remember when the rocky road finally opened onto quite possibly the most glorious vista I had ever seen. Miles of white sand beach along a magnificent grove of coconut palms. That moment and those days and nights were definitely a high point of our time here. Priceless.

...

At that time we had absolutely no clue whether we would ever be back to Playa Rincon or even to this country. Sure enough, we have all been back in the country several times since then and we will probably always feel connected to this place. 

Three years ago we made it back to Playa Rincon. At that time we were pleased to discover the road had been “developed” and that the beach had NOT been. Still absolutely gorgeous. 

And now as we begin to wrap up another winter here, it seemed important to take one more trip to Playa Rincon. It was a chance to breathe in the view and the experience one more time. 

To realize once again that we never know whether we will pass this way again.

To pause and remember and enjoy. 

To think of all the ways our lives have changed - in large part because of that year. 

To be thankful for the opportunities that have opened up for us since then. 

Or maybe they haven’t opened up for us

Maybe we have searched until we have found them. 

Maybe that is one of the ways we have been changed - that we don’t just sit around to see what happens, but we go searching for what could happen.  

Or maybe it is that we have learned that we don’t need to let obstacles rule our decisions, but that we can often choose to find a way to deal with them.

At any rate, I am grateful. So incredible grateful. I am in awe. 

...

* Playa = beach

** Country = "pais" or "campo" - either of which could be used in this case. "Pais" means this country, this nation; "campo" means out in the country. This trip involved both - driving across the country of the D.R. as well as driving for miles and miles through the campo.

*** Semana Santa = Holy Week, the week between Palm Sunday and Easter, a big deal in a Catholic country

...

For more thoughts and pictures of this amazing place, see also this later post and perspective.

Time to write

Here I am - living on a tropical island.

The perfect place to write.

Right?

Many writers would give an arm and a leg for this privilege. 

To spend the winter in a little village at the end of the road on a remote peninsula... Where the highway stops at the sea...
Sounds so idyllic.

And it is a wonderful place to write. A blessing for which I am terribly grateful.

However, I was smart enough to know ahead of time that living here would be no guarantee that I would get lots of things written. I know myself pretty well. I know that I tend to bite off more than I can chew. That I always seem to imagine that I will accomplish far more than I can actually pull off.

I also knew enough about living in this country to know that there is not as much time to do the things you might think you’ll be able to do. There are a couple obvious reasons for that.

First, the heat and humidity sap the strength right out of me. I move more slowly. Indeed, I often notice that I am dragging myself up the stairs to our little studio apartment. Sometimes it’s had to find the energy to do anything - let alone to discipline myself to work hard.

Secondly, the stuff of life just takes so much work here. We learned that many years ago. Yes, I know what Gershwin wrote about summertime and the livin’ is easy. But I also remember when we lived in this country 26 years ago that we quickly learned that just living is a whole lot of hard work. Everything takes longer. Shopping, cooking, cleaning up. Culture stress slows me down and wears me out. 

So there doesn’t turn out to be unlimited amounts of time to write - nor the energy to write when you do have time.

Oh, yes, there's another reason...  I also wanted to be somewhat free to make the most of every opportunity that comes with living in a place like this. I didn’t want to keep myself hidden away and miss out on everything outside our walls. In other words, I knew that I would want to spend time out there experiencing the sights and sounds and tastes and smells - even if it meant that I wouldn’t get to write as much as I might hope. 

I keep reminding myself that John Steinbeck didn’t write a single page of his book while on his actual trip across America. He just experienced it in the moment - and then wrote the book “Travels with Charlie” later. After the fact. I take comfort in that.

But still I hoped that I would be able to do a reasonable amount of writing. I planned to write regular blog posts while here in this great setting.  I had set some small goals for working on one of my NaNo books. 

At the same time I knew I would need to be patient with myself. To not beat myself up if I wasn’t prolific enough or diligent enough.  

…

So here we are. 

Half-way through our time here. 

How am I doing anyway?

...

Yes, I am writing. Cranking out lots of words and actually publishing some of them. As is rather “normal” for me (no matter where we live!) I am quite sporadic in the things that I actually produce.  I think I posted 13 times in January and only once so far in February. Like I said, that is fairly normal for me.

And yes, I have reached the first of my NaNo goals!

For once it would seem that I may have set some pretty reasonable expectations of myself for my writing output during this season.

And yes, there have times when I can’t seem to get in gear. But still I write. Still I crank out the words - and at least some of them end up being used.

…

Yes, living here takes much energy - and lots of time.

AND yes, there are those cultural opportunities that I choose to give high priority.

For example, I need to shut down my computer right now so I can get to my tutoring session.

Because you see, the seemingly shy girl who did my $11 pedi at the tiny little salon by the French bakery last week found the courage to ask me if I would teach her English a couple days a week. I was not about to turn down that opportunity. So here I go…

There will be time to write later.

We have this moment

It is now a few days after publishing the article below and I am feeling a bit chagrined by my attitude in it. A bit of superiority. perhaps.  Once I realized that hint of condescension, I was tempted to take it down. To delete it. But then I thought maybe I should leave it up as an attempt to be honest. That’s what I had in mind in the first place - to be honest with my “struggles” with the hard stuff. So I guess it can also be a monument to honesty about my arrogance that surfaces at times.

By the way, I think that Dominicans are amazing people. I am inspired by them in so many ways.

...

We live in a tropical paradise this winter.

We don’t have to deal with ice and snow.

What an amazing privilege.

What a good job my man did in finding an affordable spot for us to live for the season.

I am grateful.

I appreciate the privilege. 

I enjoy the setting - or most of it!

It’s not hard to find things to celebrate about this time.

But…

It’s not perfect.

There are frustrations.

There are stressors.

There are some difficult things about living in a third-world country.*

Things that are not fun - and not even healthy.

Scary things. Dangerous things.

What to do about those things?

Complain about them?

Sometimes that’s tempting - and sometimes complaint and whining just pops out.

But then I feel so badly. 

It feels incongruent to complain about ANYthing while living in a place where many Michiganders would love to be. 

It seems like I dare not speak of struggle. Of hard things.

...

Then again, that’s life.

Wherever we are. Wherever we live. Whatever our season in life.

There are good things and there are difficult things.

Perhaps the disparity is more obvious in a place like this. 

A land of extremes. 

A land of contrasts.

A land where riches and luxury are juxtaposed with poverty and pain.

A land where rich people can often be sheltered and pampered, but where the general population lives with a great lack of comfort and convenience - and even a lack of sanitation.

A land where middle-class ex-pats may live with a little of both - enjoying many of the benefits that come with a beautiful tropical area but also choosing to put up with the not-so-nice aspects of life here. 

And it is a choice. For us. Which is a luxury in itself when you think about it.

For those stuck in poverty here (as is true elsewhere) there often is no choice. There is no way out. No escape. Things are just the way they are. 

And so people make the only choices they can make - to build a life for themselves here. Because this is where they are. 

…

But we have a choice. 

While we don’t have the resources to make some of the choices that other ex-pats have made, we do have the choice to live here in a relatively humble abode for a season. And that is a luxury that few in the world have.

We have the choice to be here for a season and then to go back to the States where life is easier - albeit colder - whenever we wish. Where we can buy pretty much anything we need. Where we don’t have to worry about critters invading our private space. Where life is generally safe and secure. Where we can be healthy - or find medical care when we need it.

With so many choices available to me, it’s not too hard to realize that I also have a choice when it comes to how I handle the things that ARE difficult here. The things that are stressful and annoying and nasty.

I can choose to keep things in perspective.

I can choose to be grateful for the experience.

I can choose to celebrate the good stuff and to accept the not-so-good as a matter of fact.

I can also choose to find ways to be a blessing to this country and her people. I don’t always know what that means, but I can always be alert to possibilities. 

Maybe it’s just a matter of treating people with respect and kindness.

Maybe it is taking time to ask about what matters to them.

Certainly I can express appreciation for their hard work.

I can choose to honor them and the beauty of their culture.

Sure enough; I have lots of choices.

And for this moment I celebrate that luxury.

And in difficult moments, I may indulge myself in a different kind of luxury. 

At those moments I just might let myself long for the comfort and convenience of hame. 

The safety and security. 

Hugs from our little cuties. 

And I will let myself count down the weeks until we get there.

But then I’ll go back to enjoying the moments here.

Now.

While we have them.

Because you see; we do have this moment.

Today.

...

* In the opinion of this slightly arrogant American who was feeling a little worn down by culture stress at the time she wrote this.

...

Also after the fact - as in a few days later:
AND now I offer one of my favorite stories as a counterpart to this post.
Click here to read it.

So much for American superiority!