The opposite spirit

The excerpt below from Micah Murray kinda' reminds me of something I used to hear in my church days - about living in the opposite spirit.

• That I don't have to focus on the things that are wrong around me - either to complain about them or to join in the bad attitude.
• That instead I could respond with the opposite spirit.

I guess it also reminds me of an ancient prayer of that famous guy:

Where there is hatred, let me bring love.

Where there is offense, let me bring pardon.

Where there is discord, let me bring union.

- St. Francis, Make me an instrument of peace

Or the quote from that other famous guy:

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

- Ghandi

Yep.
And now the aforementioned excerpt from Micah Murray - only slightly redacted:

And what is the opposite of (... )?

• Loving my neighbor.
• Tearing down walls.
• Reading books.
• Listening to the voices of the marginalized.
• Looking for opportunities to show extravagant generosity.
• Working to undo oppressive systems of racism and patriarchy (starting with me).
• Saying beautiful words that bring hope, joy, and peace to those who hear them.
• Using proper spelling and punctuation.
• And most of all, being kind.

That should keep me busy for the next three years or so. 

I LOVE my porch!

I know that there will be many weeks coming when I will not be able to enjoy sitting on my lovely porch - so I have determined to enjoy lots of mornings and evenings out here now when I can. 

Hopefully that way instead of wishing I had done so more often I will have lots of memories from when I did - and that I will be grateful to have taken advantage of the opportunity.

So here I am out here once again - enjoying the moment.  But yikes, I might need some sleeves!

And that in itself is something to be thankful for after all of the unseasonably hot weather we've had recently. I am very happy to have to find some sleeves.

My holiday focus: food or people?

When we think of the holidays, one of the things that make it so fun is food. 

Food

Lots of food.

Yummy food.

Special food.

Food that we don’t often get to have.

Traditional family recipes.

Comfort foods.

Exotic foods.

Favorite foods.

…

But obviously, it's more than food.

The other highlight of the holidays... 

People.

People we love.

People we are connected with.

People we belong to.

People we don’t see often.

People.

Relationships.

Not always so comfortable.

Maybe that’s why the comfort foods are so appealing.

I am excited about the people I get to see. I wish I could spend more time with them - and this is it.

So how about if I focus on the people at least as much as on the food? 

Maybe I can take an extra minute to ask someone about something that is important to them. And then to really listen.

I can speak peace.

I can spread good will.

…

I love to eat and I love to talk.

I guess you could say that my mouth is pretty important to me. 

I like to put yummy morsels in it and I like to speak words out of it.

Unfortunately I often tend to do both without really thinking.

Oops!

This would be a good time to be a bit more mindful about both.

To think about my lips… 

To choose which morsels I allow to enter my lips as well as which words I allow to escape my lips.

Ooh, yah, I can also use my lips to kiss the sweet faces of my grand babies and to smooch the lips of my honey. That’s fun, too.

...

Here's the cool thing. I can use my mouth for eating and I can use my mouth for speaking, but preferably not at the same time. So I guess what I'm trying to say is why not talk more and eat less. Even though, yes, I know that can get me in trouble, too.

…

Moral of the story:

I choose to celebrate the people as much as I do the food.
And you better believe I will celebrate the food!

Oops; put down that cell phone! Hee-hee!

Joy, hope, peace

On this date twelve years ago, we heard the dreaded "C" word.

On this day, today, I am grateful
I continue to be grateful.
Grateful for so many things.

Things like hope, joy and peace.
And a whole lot more.

By the way, these angel bears are special to me

because I got them from the Seton Cancer Center

during the weeks of radiation treatment.  

...

So much. So very much for which to be thankful.

...

For you, my reader, I wish for joy, hope, and peace.

hope, joy, peace...

So this is Christmas and what have you done,
Another year over, a new one just begun.

And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun,
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young.

A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one without any fears.

And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong,
The rich and the poor ones, the road is so long.

And so happy Christmas for black and for white
For the yellow and red ones let's stop all the fights.

A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one without any fear.

And so this is Christmas and what have we done
Another year over, a new one just begun.

And so happy Christmas we hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones, the old and the young.

A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one without any fear.

War is over if you want it, war is over now.

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The themes of Christmas

According to Joshua Becker, these are the themes of Christmas, the things that should not be kept to ourselves: Love, joy, peace, hope, reconciliation, goodwill.

The very things that our society so desperately needs this year. At this moment. The very things that seem so evasive when we watch the nightly news. It is so easy to feel hopeless and helpless. I can't fix it. I don't really even know how to make anything better.

But I do know quite a few things NOT to do. I recognize lots of things that do NOT help. Things that harm others or that escalate the tension. Things that would be better left unsaid.

I long to be an ambassador of those Christmas themes. An ambassador of peace and hope and goodwill. Even if my attempts seem so terribly futile, I want to find ways to make things better in this world.

I want to have the wisdom and self-control to keep my mouth shut at opportune times. May I have the good sense to not say hurtful or volatile things.

I also want to have the courage to speak peace and hope to those who need to hear. May I not back off from the difficult gestures.

As I finish my shopping and holiday prep, may I remember to watch for ways to pass along these good gifts: love, joy, peace, hope, reconciliation, and goodwill.

Missing the old days - Part Two

See Missing the old days - Part One here.
...

Once in awhile I miss the old days.  But not really...

...

I don't know that I have ever watched "Dancing with the Stars" and I don't know that I ever will. I have however seen a few episodes of other performance shows as well as the Olympics from time to time - enough to know there are two distinct sides to this brand of entertainment. There is the amazing talent, the emotion of the music, the personality of the performer, the beauty of the dance and the grace of the skaters - those are the wonders to behold and to celebrate.

Then there is the judging.   Oh, my, the judging - whether by the judges or the voting public.  The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. But also the harshness, the picky critiques, the heart-breaking put-downs. I suppose there is a place for performance judging in our world, but some of our worlds contain far too much judgment and pettiness and far too little celebration and grace.

...

Some of the oft-repeated rules in my old world were demanding and difficult.   

• If you are sick, you must not have enough faith. Maybe you're not praying enough. Maybe you should throw away your pills.
• You have to submit and be more surrendered.
• Try harder and believe more strongly.
• You must be willing to pay the price.
• We must live in victory - all the time.
• Perhaps you are being punished for not having consistent daily devotions.
• When God says "Jump" it is not your place to argue or to wonder why. It is simply yours to ask "How high?" (Yes, yes, that one was probably for my protection more than about my performance, but it didn't always sound that way.)

...

But in my new world, rather than a harsh raspy-voiced coach bellowing out orders to try harder, to jump higher, to throw farther, now I discover a loving father and I hear the new rules from his gentle voice. 

• Dance with me. Don't worry about stepping on my feet. In fact, some of the time, you can just stand on them and let me do the work - just like when you were little...
• It's not like DWTS. You will not be critiqued by judges. America will not vote on your performance.
• In fact, don't even think about an audience - because they don't matter. That's right; dance like no one is watching.
• Don't fret about how to keep the steps in order. Just relax and follow my lead. Lean in and feel the graceful rhythm.
• Let the music sink into your spirit and feel the breeze on your face.
• Enjoy the dance.
• Celebrate. 

...

I miss the old days like I miss having two left feet!  Being klutzy is no fun. Neither is always missing the mark.  Feeling like a failure gets really old.

Good-bye, Judgment.  Hello, Grace!

Values for 2013

June is the middle of the year - not a bad time to evaluate what a year is about.  Normally I shy away from New Year resolutions - because I don't have a good success rate with them - or with most goals in general.  Near the beginning of this year, I heard someone* talking about choosing a value for the year rather than setting goals.  I liked the idea a lot, but I couldn't pick just one.  Yah, I've never been good at narrowing my focus, which just might maybe relate to my failure at finishing goals.

But I did come up with a little list of things that I wanted to value for 2013 - and I got especially geeked when they lined themselves up rather alliteratively.

I value these things for 2013:

• Writing
• Wellness
• Wideness
• Wisdom
• Wonder
  
  

Obviously these are not the only things that I value, but these are the ones that I selected to focus on, to work on or improve or increase.  I chose not to restrict nor define them, but simply to list one word for each and to "keep them in mind" through the year - whatever that would mean.  Each item on my list has special significance for me - increasingly so as the year goes along.

Writing is the one that is most about activity and accomplishment, but it is also about my identity.  I am beginning to think of myself as a writer and to think of writing as my work.  No longer do I feel guilty for spending too much time doing the things that make up my writing work.  To the contrary, I choose to value my writing work and to make time for it in my calendar.

Wellness speaks to me of awareness and attitude and action.  Rather than thinking about what I should or shouldn't do, I want to value wellness in my choices about activity, food, rest, stress, and healthy boundaries and in the priorities in my schedule.

Wideness takes me back to an old hymn from my childhood: There's a wideness in God's mercy like the wideness of the sea.  I want my mercy and compassion and kindness to be broad rather than tight and narrow and judgmental and restrictive and I hope that my world keeps growing ever wider with people who are different from me.

Wisdom is something that I have long wished to attain and have tried to pursue.  I really, really want to be wise in my own personal decisions as well as in my treatment of other people.

Wonder beckons me in recent years.  I want to thrill in the wonder and awe of this life and this world.  I also choose to value the exercise of wondering about things that I struggle to understand - things from how the solar system works to how a soft answer can possibly turn away wrath.  Hence the name of my blog.

...

So how am I doing?
Since my purpose was simply to value these things, it seems that I have been rather successful.  I keep the list where I can see it regularly and I often think about these things when making choices about what to think or how to spend my time.  I can say for sure that my appreciation for these items continues to increase - which might be an indication of success.  In fact, I find myself thinking that they may be a good list to keep for life.

...

Some people write a personal mission statement. I have often wanted to have one, but have not yet succeeded in getting it together.  Other people choose a life verse or some kind of motto they live by.  And yes, lots of people set goals and actually complete them.

Please leave a comment about what works for you.
What do you value?

...

* Credit for this idea goes to James Prescott, a fellow student in the Tribe Writers' course I've been taking.  When I wrote the above post, I could not remember where I had heard the idea, but came across it in some notes today.  Read his post about it here.  Thanks, James; the idea has been valuable to me.

The Dee Dah Day

I love this little story excerpted from The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg

...

Sometime ago I was giving a bath to our three children. I had a custom of bathing them together, more to save time than anything else. I knew that eventually I would have to stop the group bathing, but for the time being it seemed efficient.

Johnny was still in the tub, Laura was out and safely in her pajamas, and I was trying to get Mallory dried off. Mallory was out of the water, but was doing what has come to be known in our family as the Dee Dah Day dance. This consists of her running around and around in circles, singing over and over again, "Dee day day, dee day day." It is a relatively simple dance expressing great joy. When she is too happy to hold it in any longer, when words are inadequate to give voice to her euphoria, she has to dance to release her joy. So she does the Dee Dah Day.

On this particular occasion, I was irritated. "Mallory, hurry!" I prodded. So she did - she began running in circles faster and faster and chanting "dee dah day" more rapidly. "No, Mallory, that's not what I mean! Stop with the dee dah day stuff, and get over here so I can dry you off. Hurry!"

Then she asked a profound question: "Why?"

I had no answer. I had nowhere to go, nothing to do, no meetings to attend, no sermons to write. I was just so used to hurrying, so preoccupied with my own little agenda, so trapped in this rut of moving from one task to another, that here was life, here was joy, here was an invitation to the dance right in front of me - and I was missing it.

So I got up, and Mallory and I did the Dee Dah Day dance together. She said I was pretty good at it, too, for a man my age.

...

So why am I borrowing this story today?
Well, because I remembered something.
Something about a Dee Dah Day.
Something hazy, in the fog...
So I searched for the story - and found it!
We read it together.
We giggled and celebrated - and yes, we danced.

...

How about you?
How do you celebrate life and joy?
Is it time for a Dee Dah Day at your house?

a white Christmas - 9 years ago

(Reposted from December 25, 2003)
... ... ... ... ...

“Merry Christmas, darling.”
That’s what I heard from Bob as he rolled over & stretched lazily.

My response almost surprised me. Totally unbidden, the words pushed through my lips. “For I know the plans I have for you (says the LORD) - plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you a hope & a future.”

Continuing to surprise me, those words just kept rolling around in my partially awake mind. Like a stuck record? No; more like prayerfully repeating a favorite worship chorus…

God knows the plans for me - even if I don’t know what those plans are.

They are the plans HE has for me. Not just that He knows about them, but they are HIS plans. So cool.
His plans are to prosper me - though not necessarily financially.
His plans will not harm me - what a comfort.
He has hope and a future waiting for me.

Luxuriating in the relaxed Christmas morning mood (the kids who arrived last night & are sleeping in the other bedrooms are all grown up now so they are not pounding on our door reminding us it’s time to get up!!!)…
…letting myself wake up lazily, gazing out the window…

What an awesome sight!!!! The woods have been transformed to a winter wonderland - a white Christmas to be dreamed of and sung about. A white Christmas, by the way, that was a last-minute surprise to the meteorologists. Gotta’ love it when God surprises the experts.

I seem to hear Barbra Streisand’s voice… “snow flutt’ring down & the world is new….” Yes, a fresh snow makes the world look brand new. Sorta’ like every morning brings a fresh start. And like God’s mercies - new every morning. So great is His faithfulness.

Snowflakes lazily drifting through the air. Not in a hurry, but enticing me to slow down & take some time. They dare me to just gaze at them. To do nothing. To meditate - that sounds more spiritual, doesn’t it?

Peace. Hmm… so peaceful. This idyllic scene epitomizes peace.
Peace amid headlines of war & increased terror threats.
Peace amid personal & financial losses.
Peace despite receiving “bad news.”
Peace that passes understanding - that can’t be explained.

Wait; that’s EXACTLY what my friend prayed for me a couple days ago. Peace that can’t be explained. And yet, somehow it makes perfect sense. After all, the prince of peace Himself lives inside me. Whoa. What an awesome thing.

The same LORD who whispered into my wakening thoughts: For I know the plans I have for you…
The same God who surprised the experts by giving us this gorgeous white Christmas morning…
This same Jesus whispers peace to my mind and my shaky emotions.
Thank you, Jesus.

... ... ...

I’m not the only one who received bad news this week.

I’m not the only one tired of medical procedures.

Ours isn’t the only house where things didn’t go perfectly yesterday or the day before.

We’re not the only ones missing a loved one.

There are other families facing financial woes.

Others are separated from loved ones; some are FAR AWAY from home & family.

There are others concerned about job security & health issues.

Some have lost loved ones recently or experienced major life-changes.

...

And so, dear friends, if you’re still with me…

Have you had a rough week? A rough year?

Are you carrying an unusually heavy load?

Maybe you’re lonely
Maybe you’ve received bad news
Maybe you’re struggling financially or relationally
Maybe you’re concerned about job security
Maybe you’re feeling worn out and vulnerable
Maybe the future seems uncertain

Whatever your concern, God knows the plans that HE has for you, plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

...

My wish for you… Yes, my prayer for you is this:

Peace in the midst of trouble.
Hope to combat fear.
The joy of the LORD to give you strength.

May the prince of peace be the LORD of your tomorrows.

To my man

How can I ever thank you?

I am aware of an amazing joy and sense of gratitude during these days - when I could well have been more focused on grieving - as we pack away a lifetime of memories and get ready to walk away from our beloved home with all of its customized comforts and conveniences.

I had tried to prepare myself for the gamut of emotions - from excitement to grief and fear and stress - but have been pleasantly surprised to have joy and excitement winning out most of the time.




You have been amazing in this process - doing more than your share of the work, but especially being patient with me.  

You have been so unexpectedly good at knowing when to push me and when to give me space - which has provided a safe place for me to do all of this processing. I am so very grateful for your provision, protection and patience.

Celebrate life!!!

On Easter week-end I declared that I was going to observe a "celebration of life" ritual. Instead of giving something up as some do during Lent I was going to add something each day to celebrate life. I got the idea from a friend but wasn't sure I would have the creativity or consistency to follow through. I had fun brainstorming a list of ideas and tried out a couple of them, but then I got "too busy" and dropped the ball for a few days. Ironic, huh? how life got in the way of celebrating life?

I watched my friend play out his Lazarus Experiment, asking what Lazarus might do after being given a second chance at life. He came up with some really cool stuff and documented them each day on Facebook. His list began to look much more spiritual than mine. He looked for opportunities to serve while I had been thinking more in terms of what I would selfishly enjoy.

I could be tempted to be sad - either that my experiment didn't become a grand thing or that my ideas weren't as meaningful as his. But then that would be just silly to be sad about that. I suppose that my old self might have seen this as some kind of failure or cause for discouragement. But no, I choose to celebrate.

I celebrate life.
I celebrate creativity.
I celebrate joy.
I celebrate fun.
I celebrate health.

I celebrate the fact that I have slowed down to smell the roses. AND to smell my favorite perfume. Yep, during & after chemotherapy, I abandoned perfume because of the constant low-grade nausea. So now, to celebrate life and health, I wear it again & let every whiff remind me how good it feels to feel good again. That's celebration.

Thanks to an early spring, my shoulders are already a bit tanned - and it's barely May! I have watched for chances to catch some rays - again because I CAN - something I was unable to do during chemo & radiation. Not only CAN I sit in the sun, but I'm SUPPOSED to - getting my daily dose of vitamin D to combat the toll that cancer drugs have taken on my bones. So, yay for sitting in the sun. I celebrate sunshine.

I've done only a few ideas on my list, but they have been joyful.

I spent a whole week-end with my daughters and celebrated those amazing women!

I've gone an extra mile on my morning walk - just because I can - and rejoiced that I am able to do it.

I have made some decisions that were healthy and fun for me, and I've made some sacrifices to serve other people.

I have eaten some of my favorite foods and look forward to many more. Yes, I'm going to try a peanut butter and banana sandwich!

I celebrate being alive and healthy.

I celebrate who I am - that I am willing to try new things and establish new rituals.

Most of all I celebrate that I live by grace now instead of by a list of rules.

Let the celebration continue!!!