Crazy characters

We encountered some interesting characters around town tonight.
There were the cute...

...and the crazy

...and the creepy...

... and a whole lot more

Reading again!

I used to be an avid reader. 
I wrote here of my old reading habits that had slowly disappeared.

Don't get me wrong; I still loved books and bookstores.

I still enjoyed hanging out in libraries.

I still wished for more bookshelves to hold all the books I have.

I was still buying more books, but I wasn’t reading them.

Oh, I would start a new book, but then struggle to finish it.

This made me sad.

Gradually I’ve been finding my way back.

I have chosen to make space to honor reading.

I even spent big bucks on my very own reading chair - because I had discovered that I did not have a comfortable reading spot and I realized how important it was.

Awhile ago I heard someone describe how library books were helping her to read more.  About how the deadline helped to motivate her to actually read them.  Made sense to me so I did the same.  

I've been compiling a list of books I might want to read.

I spent a couple hours in the library and carefully selected four books to check out.

Sure enough I started reading those books.  I finished one in a few days.  Then I started another.  Actually I started two of the others, but life got busy and I didn’t get very far very fast.  I ended up renewing them by phone - and then again... EXCEPT that you can’t renew them a second time.

So…  I looked through them - and took notes of which ones I may want to check out again.  Interestingly enough, I realized that those two I was in the middle of…  I realized that I don’t need to finish them.  

That’s pretty cool.

Somewhere along my journey I had learned this astonishing lesson - that I don’t have to finish every book that I start. *gasp*  I can pause and realize “Nope, this is not necessarily the best use of my time.”  There are other books I’d rather read.  Other ways to invest my time.

...

So is the library method helping me?

I think so.

Yes, the due date is a good motivator to keep turning those pages.

But the deadline also forces me to stop and evaluate whether I want to continue.

It helps me to be more decisive - something I can always use help with!

And then of course, there is the added benefit that I did not waste money on a book that I don’t need or really want.

…

Sure enough; I think I’m getting it back - that old love for reading.

For reading real books. 

I find myself curled up with a good book in my giant comfy cozy reading chair.

Or I notice that I grab my book to read a page or two while waiting for somebody or something.

Yay!!!

I think it’s working.

I’m finding her again.  

That old avid reader that I used to be.

Yippee!

An avid reader

Somewhere along the way I realized that I had lost my love of reading.

I’ve been trying to find it again.  

To get it back.  

I used to LOVE reading.

My idea of a good time was to curl up with a book for the evening - or as long as possible.

My special treat for a "day off" activity was to hang out at Barnes and Noble and browse through huge stacks of books and agonize about which one or two I would buy to take home with me.

I was one of those people reading two or three books at once.  You know; several in process.  One for the family room, one by my bed and one in my purse. In fact, back in the day when I worked in a library, I remember hearing my boss say "you can only read one book at a time" and I thought to myself "Wow; you do not know me."

I would often carry a book with me in case I had some waiting time.  I could jump into that book at a moment’s notice and snatch a page or a few.  

Sort of like I do with my phone now.  

Yep.  It’s so easy to grab my phone and check my notifications or look for new “content” on Facebook or e-mail. 

I do love technology!  I remember when I first got my Kindle.  How exciting to have so many books in such a small package!  And I do lots of reading on my computer - and very much appreciate how wonderfully easy it is to research any subject.  

But I miss REAL books and miss the voracious reader that I used to be.  So I would pick up real books and try to read again, but I discovered my attention span had dwindled.  Blame it on too much screen time?  Maybe partly but I think there was something else - that came even earlier.  

As I look back over the years, I think I may have isolated the turning point.  

When I was scheduled for my first session of chemotherapy nearly fifteen years ago, I remember packing up some favorite books and magazines - thinking this was going to be so cool to have this time on my hands to just read.  Just sit there and read!  Okay, yah; I was trying to find something positive about this not-so-fun thing.

Only it didn’t work that way.  For some reason I just didn’t have the focus or the energy to read during those infusions - nor during the recovery times.  I don’t remember if I continued to carry books along to those sessions but I don’t think I got much reading done.  Nor do I remember ever really getting back to my old reading habits in the months following cancer treatment.

And then along came other ways to read - on screens and in smaller quicker portions.

...

So that’s my sad story about how I lost my reading habit.

...

To be continued here...

Octobers I have known

I have loved October for a long time.

Like that one evening at our tree farm...

Or our fall camping trips to Port Crescent State Park...

Walking through the woods with a couple daughters

Joining another daughter and her family at the pumpkin patch...

...or shopping at Flint Farmers' Market

Visiting our old stomping grounds near Kingston, MIchigan...

A color tour up north with the red Mustang...

Or exploring the Finger Lakes region on that road trip to New York state...

But maybe the best is coming back home to our new "old" house ...

...for a yummy bowl of hot soup...

Because there's just no place like home!

I’m so glad to live in a world where there are Octobers.

-  Anne of Green Gables

How much is enough?

Is it just me? 

Or does anybody else ever feel like you're not doing enough?

Not doing THIS enough and not doing THAT enough...?

Other people have expectations of us.

Social media sets up unrealistic standards.

It can be easy to feel like I should be doing more.

I should do this or that more often.

More frequently.

More regularly. 

More consistently.

Or I should care more.

I should be more available.

I should be better at this...

(And yes, that's a whole lot of should's but that's a subject for another time.)

What a set-up for discouragement!

What a load of guilt can get dumped on us!

...

But you know what?

We simply cannot do it all!

Certainly not all of the things that everybody wants us to do - and not even everything that we might think we ought to do.

...

One of the best things I've ever done is to stop and ask:

How much is enough?

How much should I be doing really?

What is realistic?

What is healthy?

Reasonable?

What lines up with who I am?

With the kind of person I want to be, but also with my priorities and responsibilities...

...

It's tough to be objective about whether we are doing enough - especially when other people's expectations are far different from ours.  Sometimes we have to compromise and sometimes we must experiment to see what will actually work.

One of my ongoing examples is writing.

I can easily feel like I'm not writing enough.

Oh, dear; am I writing enough?

Perhaps the more important question is:

How much is enough?

How often is appropriate?

How MUCH should I do each time?

(How many words, how many projects, how many hours...?)

How in the world

will I know if I'm doing enough

if I don't have a clue

how much I should be doing?!?

I’m happy to report that this process is helping - with my writing, with relationships, with chores, with outside commitments...

Now when I begin to feel like I'm not doing enough I can pause and think about my answers to that key question.  I can much more objectively see that "Yes, I am doing enough at this moment" or maybe admit "Oops; it is true that I need to do that one more time this week."

It was no fun to be stuck in subjectivity and always feeling like I wasn't doing enough. 

Or wasn't doing something OFTEN enough.

Or LONG enough.

Or whatever...

It feels so much more reasonable and healthy to be able to take a look at my goals and at the reality and to see whether adjustments need to be made to my schedule.  I suppose it is a type of self-accountability.

This is a tool to become a better person.

A dependable worker

A faithful friend

More consistent

More reasonable

More balanced

And definitely a healthier person

More satisfied and contented

It feels good to be consistently doing the things that are important.

I like myself a whole lot better...