Monday, October 1, 2018

How much is enough?

Is it just me? 
Or does anybody else ever feel like you're not doing enough?
Not doing THIS enough and not doing THAT enough...?

Other people have expectations of us.
Social media sets up unrealistic standards.
It can be easy to feel like I should be doing more.
I should do this or that more often.
More frequently.
More regularly. 
More consistently.

Or I should care more.
I should be more available.
I should be better at this...
(And yes, that's a whole lot of should's but that's a subject for another time.)

What a set-up for discouragement!
What a load of guilt can get dumped on us!

...

But you know what?
We simply cannot do it all!
Certainly not all of the things that everybody wants us to do - and not even everything that we might think we ought to do.

...

One of the best things I've ever done is to stop and ask:
How much is enough?
How much should I be doing really?
What is realistic?
What is healthy?
Reasonable?
What lines up with who I am?
With the kind of person I want to be, but also with my priorities and responsibilities...

...

It's tough to be objective about whether we are doing enough - especially when other people's expectations are far different from ours.  Sometimes we have to compromise and sometimes we must experiment to see what will actually work.

One of my ongoing examples is writing.
I can easily feel like I'm not writing enough.
Oh, dear; am I writing enough?

Perhaps the more important question is:
How much is enough?
How often is appropriate?
How MUCH should I do each time?
(How many words, how many projects, how many hours...?)

How in the world
will I know if I'm doing enough
if I don't have a clue
how much I should be doing?!?

I’m happy to report that this process is helping - with my writing, with relationships, with chores, with outside commitments...

Now when I begin to feel like I'm not doing enough I can pause and think about my answers to that key question.  I can much more objectively see that "Yes, I am doing enough at this moment" or maybe admit "Oops; it is true that I need to do that one more time this week."

It was no fun to be stuck in subjectivity and always feeling like I wasn't doing enough. 
Or wasn't doing something OFTEN enough.
Or LONG enough.
Or whatever...

It feels so much more reasonable and healthy to be able to take a look at my goals and at the reality and to see whether adjustments need to be made to my schedule.  I suppose it is a type of self-accountability.

This is a tool to become a better person.
A dependable worker
A faithful friend

More consistent
More reasonable
More balanced

And definitely a healthier person
More satisfied and contented

It feels good to be consistently doing the things that are important.
I like myself a whole lot better... 


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