54 years

 Hey Bob Sims, I'm so glad we found each other

...and that we decided to spend the rest of our lives together

... and build a family

But first you surprised me by building us a house!!!

And an amazing house it was!

We took some trips, did some hiking and camping.

Somewhere during those crazy wonderful years, 

we also planted a Christmas tree farm

But then came the day, much to our surprise, when we decided to walk away from that farm and live on the road, here and there, for awhile.

I'm glad we took the chance to collect some more memories in the Dominican Republic...

...but I'm also grateful for that little ole' fifth-wheel RV we found and for the years we lived in that amazing rig.

Thanks for listening to my heart when I realized I needed to get back to Michigan to be near the little guys.

And then I listened to YOUR heart when you felt like you were ready for a project... because you needed something to do with your hands.  It's pretty cool that we have learned to hear each other.

So...we bought a house with "a table big enough for us to all sit..." 

In the meantime, there was more camping and travel and fun with the kids.

Turns out the house project was so much fun that you decided to do another one across the street.  Sure enough you found something ELSE to do with your hands!

I am so terribly thankful for these years together.  

For the wonderful people in our lives

For the miles we have been privileged to travel

For the beaches we've discovered

For the amazing houses you have built and rescued and restored

What a guy!  

Bob the builder

Bob the re-builder

Bob the legend

And I am incredibly grateful that as the seasons come and go...

At the end of the day and the end of our energy...

And it's time for rocking and relaxing...

I'm so stinkin' glad it's still you and me, babe.

Golden

Fifty years!

How could it be?

…

Guests could start arriving soon so we all headed inside to get cleaned up and dressed up.  When I came downstairs and noticed Riley’s gold shoes I told her that this is our Golden Anniversary.  “That’s what Grandpa said!” she laughed.

…

Golden Anniversary  

1971 to 2021

Not sure I ever thought much about the chances of making it to 50 years.  

People who celebrate Golden Anniversaries are old; right?  

Maybe I didn’t often imagine myself getting old.  

And suddenly here we are.  I don’t feel old.  Well, except for those stiff joints.  

But how did we get here so quickly?    

And why are we the lucky ones who get to be together this long?  

Some people call it an accomplishment.

Others ask what’s the secret.

I don’t think there’s any secret.  

No magic formula. 

Maybe we’re just lucky.

Blessed.

I don’t know why we get to celebrate this milestone.  

But I guess that’s the way with privilege.  No rhyme or reason to it.

…

Eugene, one of our foreign exchange students, texted greetings from Russia.  He said that they call the 50th a golden anniversary there.  We told him we do here as well.

Bob’s mom gifted us with a gold plate.  Well, a plate with gold trim.  A family heirloom.  It was given to her parents on their 50th wedding anniversary in 1962.  Grandma Grody left the plate to Mom & Dad Sims who then celebrated the golden milestone in 1995. ... How cool that Mom is still alive to pass it on to us and celebrate with us.  Wow.  Such a thing gives one pause. We feel honored. Privileged. Blessed.

I still don’t know why we are so fortunate. So blessed.

Why us?

Why did we both survive cancer when so many friends and family members didn’t?

Maybe there is no answer.

But one thing we know.

We know that it is a gift - one that we definitely appreciate. 

Cherish.

Celebrate.

We are grateful. 

Because gratitude is pretty much always a good idea.

Gratitude is golden.

You are invited

I’ve been intrigued by a recent phenomenon where friends offer a unique invitation on a special milestone birthday. They choose a favorite cause that they would like to support and invite their friends to join them in donating to that charity.  

I’ve been fascinated with the idea and thought about doing something similar on my next big “round-number year" because there are so many great causes I would love to help.

For example I used to think it would be great to provide clean water for a village in Africa and now I live in a city recovering from a water crisis.  Interesting.

I think of other grand ideas:

• Alleviate world hunger
• Discover a cure for cancer
• Remove the chains of oppression
• Save the planet
• Stamp out child abuse

Grand and noble causes, but how can I really make a difference?

On the other hand there are tons of other noble causes on a smaller scale.

• Words of compassion
• Gestures of kindness
• Gifts of generosity
• Volunteer opportunities galore
• Generally find ways to give more life
• Maybe check on friends and neighbors
• Maybe even write a real letter

You get the idea...  In fact, I bet you have even better ideas than these.

So anyway, here I am.

Yep, this is the year... 

... that next big round number birthday.

This is the week.

So here's what I think I wanna' do... 

I want to invite you to join me in thinking of something you can do for somebody.  

• To make the world a better place
• To promote life and health 
• To offer love instead of hate
• To speak hope rather than fear

I'm not gonna' tell you what it should be, but maybe I'll suggest a category.

Or maybe two.

How about life and love?

Yep, I like those.

Let's find ways to offer life and love.

One more thing...  

If you DO decide to join in on the fun, please leave a comment describing what you chose to do.  Hearing those stories would be such a fun birthday present for me!!!  

Life and love

I celebrated Easter as an "insider" for nearly 6 decades.
I have now celebrated a dozen more Easters as an outsider.  
Landing outside those religious walls came as a total shock to me and a source of great sadness. But then I began sorting and soul-searching and seeking for truth and figuring out what I really believe and which things are worth building my life on... 

Jesus ends up at the top of my list.  

I want to follow his words and his example. 

I want to love like he loved.  
I want to be a person of grace.

I had just been pondering something I wrote during those years in exile…  about the fact that I often find myself stuck "in the middle" between friends at opposite ends of the spectrum.  Sure enough this pandemic where we currently find ourselves is one of those times when lines have been drawn and I find myself with friends on both extremes.  

In some ways and at some times, the middle is a good place to be, but there are other times when I might need to lean one way or the other.  Sometimes it's tough to know which way to lean.

Naturally I tend to err on the side of caution.  

But I hope that I also err on the side of love and compassion and kindness and grace.  The side of life and love and health and healing.  That's the direction I want to lean.

I guess you could say that is my religion.

That's how I want to live my life.

I can choose my focus

Sad, discouraged, maybe even scared

What is happening?

Harsh words… 

Mean words 

Disrespect 

Friends sounding like enemies

Brings me down

Gotta’ find a different focus

...

Enter Maya Angelou.

I’ve had so many rainbows in my clouds.

I had a lot of clouds… 

but I have had so many rainbows.

When I step up on stage…

… or teach a class

… or produce a movie...

I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me with me…

I say “Come with me…  I need ya’ ”

So I don’t ever feel that I have no help.

…

And the thing to do…  

... is to prepare yourself so that you can be a rainbow…

Be a blessing to somebody.

That’s what I think.

…

Thank you, dear lady, for a fresh focus.

The opposite spirit

The excerpt below from Micah Murray kinda' reminds me of something I used to hear in my church days - about living in the opposite spirit.

• That I don't have to focus on the things that are wrong around me - either to complain about them or to join in the bad attitude.
• That instead I could respond with the opposite spirit.

I guess it also reminds me of an ancient prayer of that famous guy:

Where there is hatred, let me bring love.

Where there is offense, let me bring pardon.

Where there is discord, let me bring union.

- St. Francis, Make me an instrument of peace

Or the quote from that other famous guy:

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

- Ghandi

Yep.
And now the aforementioned excerpt from Micah Murray - only slightly redacted:

And what is the opposite of (... )?

• Loving my neighbor.
• Tearing down walls.
• Reading books.
• Listening to the voices of the marginalized.
• Looking for opportunities to show extravagant generosity.
• Working to undo oppressive systems of racism and patriarchy (starting with me).
• Saying beautiful words that bring hope, joy, and peace to those who hear them.
• Using proper spelling and punctuation.
• And most of all, being kind.

That should keep me busy for the next three years or so. 

Thankful Thursday: thankful for... ME?

I started this thankful Thursday practice many, many years ago as a way to remind myself to be grateful. To stop and notice the good stuff. It has been an excellent exercise.  For awhile, I tried to to it regularly because it was so beneficial.  These days I'm not very legalistic about it - because it has already worked its magic!  

My perspective has gradually shifted.

I am so grateful for so many things. 

My man, who was born on this date, tops my list today because he is an integral part of so much of what is good about my life.  

- Our kids & grandkids

- Our life together and all of our adventures

- Our sense of mission and teamwork

- The encouragement he gives me

All amazing stuff.

But that’s not all.  There is more.

I have even come to a place where I can be thankful about some of the wonderful things about ME... and my personality and my worth.  

Whew!  That feels weird to say and until recently would have been a foreign concept.  I have made massive strides in the way I feel about myself.  

Self-love.  Wow.  

Self-care.  

Self-nurture.

Treating myself with kindness and respect.

…and with compassion.

I’m not there yet.  

Not perfect by a long shot.

I still get down on myself.

And I still complain and grumble...

But I’m getting better - at both loving myself AND being grateful.  

Lots healthier these days...

…

Funny thing.

A long time ago, one of my favorite people famously said to love my neighbor as myself.  For a lot of years, I tried hard to do that.

Now that I am learning how to love myself, it seems like it’s easier to love my neighbors. Like it comes more naturally.

Imagine that.

Funny how that works.

Or maybe it’s just that I happen to have such lovable neighbors!

At any rate, I am so very thankful on this Thursday.

Uncommon

An uncommon life.
That's what he called it.
That's what we have - an uncommon life.
I tend to agree.
And I am indeed grateful.
...
Reminds me of a song.
And of the way I want to live.
I want to lend my voice only to sounds of freedom.

Don't worry mother

It'll be alright

And don't worry sister

Say your prayers and sleep tight

And it'll be fine

Lover of mine

It'll be just fine

And lend your voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength

To that which you wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And you shall lead

A life uncommon

I've heard your anguish

I've heard your hearts cry out

We are tired, we are weary

But we aren't worn out

Set down your chains

Until only faith remains

Set down your chains

And lend your voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength

To that which you wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

A life uncommon

There are plenty of people

Who pray for peace

But if praying were enough

It would've come to be

Let your words enslave no one

And the heavens will hush themselves

To hear our voices ring out clear

With sounds of freedom

Sounds of freedom

Come on you unbelievers

Move out of the way

There is a new army coming

And we are armed with faith

To live, we must give

To live

And lend our voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend our strength

To that which we wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

And lend our voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend our strength

To that which we wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

A life uncommon

- Jewel

Betty Lorraine Tuckey D'Arcy Caudell

On this day 89 years ago, a baby girl was welcomed into the world.  A few years later this young girl walked across the fields to school and a few more years later she went farther away to business college.  Just about that time a new college was being born and they needed her and her skills to serve as the secretary for the new president of the new college. And so that young woman went even farther away from home to became the first student at Bethel College and to serve as President Goodman’s secretary.

And then she married a man with two little boys. 

And then I was born.  

And then my little brother was born.

So many times through the years, there were people who needed her.  She worked in numerous roles of service. She cooked meals for hired men and boys and huge groups of teenagers. 

She drove a school bus transporting kids to and from the old one-room school. 

She served as receptionist and assistant for a local doctor. 

She organized and served dinners for countless families in their grief of losing a loved one.  She welcomed and loved people every Sunday through the years. 

Yes, she loves people.  

People of all ages.

She is a GREAT grandma. 

And she is Grandma Great.

She baked thousands of loaves of bread and millions of cookies to feed the kids and grandkids of the world.  

She made chocolate-covered cherries and other sweet confections  to give as gifts and treats and eventually to sell at our Christmas tree farm.  Grandma Betty’s hand-dipped chocolates were famous across the country.

Through the years, in times of scarcity or plenty, she was adept at making something special from what was available.  When the money was scarce, she was an expert at somehow putting together enough to feed a group of hungry teenagers.  

Speaking of expertise, she was indeed the bread-baking expert of her world.  People of all ages asked her to teach them the art of making bread like she did.  

And even in the years when she no longer had access to

her “professional” kitchen equipment because she had given them all away, she was still able to bake rolls and other yummy treats for the residents where she lived.

What an amazing life!

What an amazing woman!

What a privilege to be your daughter!

Happy birthday, Mom.