They are telling our story

I've just been introduced to Dave and Sheryl Balthrop and have learned some of their story about selling their house and combining households with her mom. They blog about their journey at Simple Life Reboot.

They are telling our story. Well, they are telling THEIR story but some of it is just like our story.  Sure; the details are different, but they are articulating many of our thoughts almost verbatim.

Here are just a few lines from Dave and Sheryl that are almost exactly what we've said and thought - illustrated by a couple of our pictures.

"While we recognized that our over-sized house used most of our resources,

we justified the expenditures by telling ourselves

that we needed to maintain a large legacy home

that could serve as a gathering place for our children and future grandchildren.

"But we began to realize that they weren’t really gonna’ come back all that often. 

We were gonna’ need to go see them. 

Their lives were busy."

"A big part of what drives us is our kids.

What they’re into

What they’re doing and

Our ability to stay in contact with them

"But the house was sorta’ tying us down.

"The house that we thought was so important  

to keep for them to come home to...

This house might be the obstacle hindering us from going to see the kids."

…

Dave summarizes: 

"Early on, we realized it was the right thing to do.

As we got further into the process,

we knew that it was ABSOLUTELY the right thing."

...

Sheryl remembers:

"It was emotional.

What will people think?"

...

Regarding downsizing:

"We ... consider it an advance gift to our children

in that they would never have to deal with boxes and boxes

of unneeded items which we edited from our lives."

Regarding the gatherings, Sheryl wondered if the kids would come to her mom’s house for Christmas and other gatherings.

"Would they still come?"

"Would they feel comfortable?"

And then she answers the question:

"Yes, they still come. 

It gets a little silly, with lots of blow-up beds,

but I think it’s more of an adventure.

"They’re coming to spend time with us and with each other, 

not to be in a particular space."

Yes, we have said and thought almost these exact things about the place and the people.

...

And here are a few other wise words from Dave:

"I believe we move towards that which we contemplate."  

Now there's something to contemplate.

Read more of their story HERE.

Such silliness

Warning: this story is silly.

I mean absurdly, ridiculously silly and trivial.

But hey, I try to celebrate the little victories in life. Even the silly ones.

And maybe even learn from them.

…

You know how sometimes we sit around the table talking and laughing - maybe for hours? And you know how easy it is to keep munching and nibbling away at the things that are nearby? Obviously you are no longer hungry, but once the bloat of fullness fades a teeny bit and the tryptophan has lulled all sense of reason into oblivion, the contents of those giant platters and serving bowls somehow start to look appealing again.

Well, there I sat beginning to notice that succulent piece of turkey on the edge of that platter - or to think about how I might be able to find room for another small portion of that sweet potato concoction. I admit I was ready to reach for first one and then another…. Except for one minor detail. 

For some silly reason, there was water on my plate. Maybe I had poured out the last couple ounces of water from my glass to make room for something sparkly. I think it was something like that. I suppose it made sense at the time because surely I was done eating and finished with my plate.

At any rate, there was this little pool of water there in the middle of my plate - as I sat there sipping my sparkling beverage and enjoying the conversation and laughter floating around the room.

After awhile, sure enough, I began to notice that platter of turkey sitting nearby - AND another of ham. Oh, my; they were both so yummy and I had been careful not to eat very much. But now… Now after sitting here for a couple hours… Now maybe I could find room for just a little snipper…

Oh, wait; there’s a little pool of water on my plate. Okay; I won’t bother. I don’t need more food anyway. 

More talking and listening and laughing and learning what’s happening in everybody’s life. Good times.

Oh, but look! There is that amazing stuffing with all of the secret ingredients stuffed inside. I sure would be nice to get another tiny serving of that. Let’s see; maybe I will. Oh, wait; nope, there’s still that little pool of water on my plate. Wouldn’t want it to make my stolen serving of stuffing soggy, now would I?

Of course, by now I began to argue with myself. I could get up and take that offending plate to the kitchen and get rid of the little pool of water. But no, that would take effort. And besides this gives me a good excuse to not eat more. Hmmm… Interesting.

Back to the friendly banter in the room. Fun times.

But it happened again. And again. There was that pecan-encrusted sweet potato dish. Oh, yum. Ooh, and the scalloped corn soufflé or whatever it is called. Maybe it’s time for just a little more of one of those. Gotta’ eat my vegetables; right? Oops; nope. There’s that little pool of water. How silly! 

Of course, by then, I had become aware what was happening - smart girl that I am. It had dawned on me that I had before me a perfect deterrent - albeit a silly one. And that my laziness was at least helping me to avoid some serious over-eating. I had to chuckle while silently congratulating myself. Such silliness. But hey, maybe this is what they call mindful eating. This noticing and monitoring my own private internal battle - and even recognizing the humor in it. Who knows? 

…

The moral of the story?

In my battle against gluttony, one of the few things that seems to work for me (WHEN I choose to employ it!) is to wait. Instead of popping something into my mouth, simply wait. Wait a little longer before eating that morsel that is calling my name. Wait. Maybe 15 minutes. Maybe I can only make it 5 minutes. Or maybe I can sail through the 15 minutes and decide to wait even longer. Maybe I can wait until I finish this project or cross one more item off my to-do list. 

Maybe I can grab onto some silly reason to wait. Like maybe there is a little pool of water on my plate. And maybe I’m too lazy to get out of my chair and do something about it. So maybe I will let that become my reason to wait. Whatever works. Whatever reason I can find to postpone eating something that I don’t need. 

Creative procrastination. That’s what I like to call it. 

Maybe that’s the moral of the story.

Maybe I can continue to learn from it.

Maybe I can be alert to whatever will help me next week when the Christmas foods appear.

…

How about you? 

Do you employ any silly tactics to avoid gluttony during this season of abundance?

More power to you.

ADD syndrome

I guess I have ADD syndrome.

I'm not talking about A.D.D. or A.D.H.D.
I simply mean ADD. I always want to ADD things to my life.

ADD more sea shells to my collection because they're so lovely.

ADD more kitchen utensils to make life more convenient.

ADD more clothes to my wardrobe because I get tired of the same old ones.

ADD more colorful beads to my brand-new Mardi Gras collection because they are so fun.

ADD more supplies in case we need them.

ADD more notepads that I can write in.

ADD more books on my to-read pile.

ADD more e-mail newsletters to my subscription list.

ADD more events to my calendar because they sound like fun.

ADD more commitments to my schedule because I've always been interested in this.

ADD more jobs to my to-do list.

~   ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ 

Slowly but surely I'm learning that I have to remove some of the old things in order to make room for the new. Living in a small space reminds me of that necessity.

But this list includes both physical things and also time commitments - which still trip me up.

I remember the day when I told hubby about something that I was going to add to my calendar. Some time commitment that seemed really important to me. He asked me what I was going to remove from my already busy schedule. I said I wasn't planning to remove anything. I thought I could fit it in.

All these years later I still tend to make that faulty assumption at times. I still find myself thinking that surely I can rearrange my day and my week to ADD this one extra thing. Ack!!!

Here's the deal: Something will get removed or it will get neglected or it will be done poorly. If I don't consciously choose something to set aside, it will still happen. Unfortunately, the thing that gets neglected or ignored might be something important.

I thought I had learned that lesson years ago. So why am I still trying to ADD things to my life without figuring out what to remove first?

I guess the syndrome maybe stays in your system and you just need to learn how to control it.


 
 

Too much stuff - for a small space

"Oh, dear; I brought too much stuff."

Now there is nothing new about that statement; pretty much every time I go somewhere I do take too much stuff.

However...

There is nothing quite like living in a small space to make it obvious that you have too much stuff. Most of my life there has been lots of "bonus" space to stash extra stuff. Probably most Americans have that privilege; we can haul Christmas decor to the attic, stash seasonal clothing in a guest room closet, maybe store picnic and camping supplies in the basement or the garage and cram the excess food into the pantry.

In my former life, closets were relatively big and drawers were numerous. I even had a whole room designated for storage!!!

But it's different in an RV. Space is limited - with barely enough room for the essentials, let alone anything extra. There are few drawers and the closets are teeny tiny. There is no such thing as a coat closet in the entry or an unused closet in a guest room - because there is no guest room!

We do have a pantry in our rig (at least we call it that) but it's considerably smaller than the walk-in one we had under the stairs at the big house. There is no desk and there is no office - so our table doubles as our desk and my briefcase is our portable office.

...

Because there is such limited space, it becomes super-important to keep our possessions pared down to a bare minimum. Whenever we consider bringing something with us - or buying something new, we have to find a place for it. We might even measure to make sure it fits and we know that certainly it will displace something else that was already assigned to that spot. Therefore whenever we consider anything bigger than a loaf of bread, we have to weigh all the pros and cons (and ounces and pounds!) to decide if it is worth the space it will require. But somehow it's the little things (the ones smaller than a bread box) that sneak into the bags and boxes to be loaded into the rig - without having gone through that rigorous auditioning process.

Amazingly we did pretty well last year - for being our first time. Maybe beginner's luck. Maybe the hand of providence. Unfortunately I'm afraid I didn't do as well this year. I ask myself how this happened and why I brought too much stuff. Here's what I think contributed to the problem. First of all, we ran out of time because we were moving out of the cabin and getting all of our stuff from the extra sheds into our storage unit - and then we lost a week to sickness. Not taking the time to make deliberate decisions leads to sloppy packing. In the early days of the fall when I had the luxury of time, I had started the loading process and making sure the rig was stocked - with dishes and pans and utensils and all of that good stuff. But then as we were pushing to empty out the basement and the sheds, then more stuff got loaded into the righ - including "another one" of this - without us realizing that it wasn't needed - or remembering that we already had one.

Oh, well, an extra towel can't hurt, right? You can't have too many wooden spoons, right? Wrong. Only a certain number of bath towels fit on that small shelf in the closet - like two or three. Only a couple wooden spoons fit in the silverware drawer alongside those other necessary utensils.

Now don't get me wrong. This rolling home of our is amazing with all of its little nooks and crannies hidden away in every conceivable spot. The lay-out is awesome and I have to say that the designers of these rigs are to be commended. The medicine cabinet is the best one I've ever seen and yes, we take full advantage of every inch. That shelf behind the couch is a life-saver as is that one above the kitchen cabinets. And the vertical shelving by the fridge... Well, I wouldn't want to do without that. And the silverware drawer that wraps around the kitchen sink... Well, that funky drawer just makes me giggle.

So this rig is well-designed and perfectly suited for our needs, but not for many extras. Actually on this trip, there is even less storage space because I gave hubby the rights to pretty much the entire cargo hold - for his piano - because this is an important season in his musical life - so that means I don't have places to put bins of extra stuff into storage. *gulp* Consequently I need to run a tight ship which probably means that I should find a thrift store where I can donate some of this extra stuff.

But, in the meantime, I still have a laundry basket full of clothes to put away, but no place to put them. Yet.

...

As I already mentioned, this is not a new dilemma for me. Instead it is an old familiar pattern that tends to reveal itself in new exotic places. In other words it shows up pretty much wherever I live. I am so very glad that I have finally been learning to live with less.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

"A place for everything

and everything in its place."
~  ~  ~  ~  ~

I remember that saying from when I was a kid and am more recently learning how important that is to my sanity and peace of mind - ESPECIALLY when living in a tiny place like this. Neatness and simplicity have such a calming and healing effect on me; therefore it is worth the cost of paring down my stuff still more.

...

Oh, and I just discovered that there will be a garage sale right here on the campground in a couple weeks - so maybe I can make some money on my "extra" stuff!!!

Less

Less.

I have been thinking about less.  Just letting the word hang out in my brain and see what it has to offer me.  To teach me.

I guess I began to focus on it when someone talked about picking a word for the year. That seemed like a good idea, but I don't know that I would make it work nor that I want to mess with having a word for the year. But still I remind myself of the word "less" sometimes because it seems like a good word.

Less is a good idea.

We have been seriously downsizing for three years. It has been crazy. Much has changed, I have been letting go of things until it hurts, but there is still too much stuff.

Less is good.

On several levels of my brain and my heart, I am convinced that I prefer less to more, but it is still so hard to get there. The process is excruciating and exhausting.  So I focus on the benefits, on the idea of less - and how liberating it is.

Less is good.

...

This actually makes me think of a sermon at Brown City Camp many years ago by Dave Engbrecht - about things he had chosen not to be good at. I don't remember many of the things on his list, but I do remember the prinicple he explained by saying that he was unwilling to invest the time and money and energy to be good at certain things (like playing golf, for example) because he knew that if he decided to make that investment, other things would suffer. That important people or projects would end up getting the leftovers of his resources.

I suppose that the idea appealed to me so much because I must have been getting a little weary of the quest for more.  I had always been such a pleaser and so submissive to all those other sermons. The ones that told me I must excel in this and that and everything imaginable. That I must do more. Pray more. Read my Bible more. Give more. Serve more. Be more patient. More faithful. More zealous.  Have more passion and more compassion. Be committed to excellence and success and striving. Always striving. Bah! I am so sick of striving. Where is the good news in that?

More, more, more.

...

And of course, it wasn't just at church that I heard about more. Pretty much everywhere we turn, "more" is the measure of success.  It's not enough to keep up with the Joneses; now we need more than they have.  Certainly more than we already have. More than we need. More than enough.

Oh wait, then there was that whole other sermon about "more than enough." To hear the guy tell about it that weekend and to read his book, we should not be satified with enough. Nope, we serve a God who provides more than enough - so why would we settle for only enough?  Good grief.  Somehow he made it sound good at the time, but it was just one more of the unhealthy things I swallowed.

...

And what about advertising and commercials that are all geared to convince us that we need more?  What a crock.

...

Where is the call for less? That's what I think I need. Certainly less food. Less stuff. Less toys.

Sometimes less is a good idea.

...

Maybe that's why this article caught my attention - this list of things we could do less.  Great ideas. Several from this list jump out at me as being really good places to start in my quest for less.

...

Oh dear; now there are a bunch more ideas flitting through my brain, so many more things to write about, but I think I'll stop right here. 

With less words rather than more.

I can only do what I can do

Sometimes I notice that I am disappointed with myself.  This is one of those times - when I really wish that I had been able to keep up a better pace of blogging.  But I just haven't been able to do all that I wanted to.  I am pleased that I have kept a fairly consistent writing routine - even cranking out 60,000 words in November for the NaNoWriMo challenge!!!  However not many of those words are ready to publish.  I can and will choose to accept the reality and be patient with myself. 

I am really good at making excuses and it is sometimes hard to know whether that's what I'm doing or if this really is an unusually busy time.  Yep, it is.  It's not simply that I feel busy nor that I use that feeling to excuse my neglect of important stuff.  Nope, this time I am smack dab in the middle of an important life transition and am scrambling to keep up - so some things simply must take a back seat for another couple weeks. 

So what in the world is so all-fired important?  Only that we are wrapping up 40+ years of living here on this farm and stepping into a future of adventure and uncertainty.  We are taking another huge step of downsizing and my focus must be on sorting and pitching and storing and packing.  We had thought we had a month or two for this step, but things have fallen into place sooner than expected - so we suddenly have only a couple weeks to get everything done.  Yikes.

Gotta' find a balance.  On one hand, I simply must push myself to my limits in order to meet the deadlines in this race against time.  On the other hand, I choose to carve out special moments to slow down and cherish the joy of this wonderful season. 

...

When I can't make my fingers function in the near-zero temps of the storage sheds, I certainly wish I had done things differently - namely SOONER!!!  But it is what it is.  We will do what we have to do and what we can do.  That's the big thing I'm learning:  I can only do what I can do.  Oh, so profound.  Sometimes that means that I have to put a box BACK into storage that I had hoped to finish; that can make me feel defeated and discouraged.  But I can only do what I can do.

So instead of beating myself up for not posting here more often, I can be okay with my choices and know that I am doing what I can do.