Happy Juneteenth! I'm sorry I'm late.

Less than 10 years ago I first heard of Juneteenth and have been trying to learn more about it since.  Because I feel such a huge gap in my education, I can identify with this guy.

Yes, fact checkers have found this guy in Ohio, who told them,

"I hope it lets people know that it's OK

to change your opinion

when you're presented with new evidence

that clearly shows you were wrong.”

Today a Facebook friend posted these lines - and gave me permission to share.  Thank you, Ryan DjRhino Flemming. 

On this day in 1865, Union General Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston, Texas, and read General Order No. 3, announcing and enforcing the freedom of enslaved people in Texas.

While President Abraham Lincoln had issued the Emancipation Proclamation more than two years earlier on January 1, 1863, its enforcement depended upon the presence of Union troops. As Union forces advanced into formerly Confederate territory, freedom was not only proclaimed—it was secured. For many enslaved people in Texas, that moment finally arrived on June 19, 1865.

For those who had lived under the bondage of slavery, this was a day of profound joy and significance. In the years that followed, they commemorated the occasion as “Juneteenth,” and over time that celebration spread throughout the nation.

Nearly every major movement has a defining moment that comes to symbolize the larger story. Juneteenth has become such a moment in the story of slavery’s end in the United States. It represents the day when the promise that all people are created equal moved closer to becoming a reality for all Americans.

We remember Juneteenth not to celebrate the fact that slavery once existed in our nation, but to celebrate that it was brought to an end. We honor those who endured its cruelty, those who fought against it, and those who sacrificed to secure freedom for others. We also celebrate the truth that every person is created in the image of God and is therefore worthy of dignity, justice, and respect.

Happy Juneteenth!

 

Juneteenth: Celebrating freedom

 Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865,

which is when enslaved Black people in Texas were told

that slavery had been abolished.

  …  

By the time enslaved people in Galveston, Texas,

were told by Union Major General Gordon Granger

that they were free on June 19, 1865,

they were some of the last enslaved people to be informed.

It had been two months since the Civil War ended.

 -Excerpted from dictionary.com

...

This week I’ve been bumping into things that remind me that for far too long in our country, Black lives have not mattered.  It is way past the time for that fact to be turned around.

My heart breaks about things that I do not understand, nor have even a smidge of control.  I cannot begin to comprehend all the factors that come together in the killing of a person of color - just because of that color.  I cannot imagine the fear that must be just below the surface for them.  I barely understand what Juneteenth is about, but I try to learn a little bit more each year. 

...

Of course, these issues are not simple nor are they limited to skin color.  I also fail to understand how we can send astronauts to live on the ISS, but we can’t figure out how to keep children safe in school.  Thinking about the conditions in Ukraine and Gaza just make me shudder.  

What can we do?

How should we feel?

What should we think?

Though my attempts feel terribly small, I have at least begun taking steps - to listen, to read, to recognize the huge gaps in my understanding and to start filling some of those gaps with learning and compassion and respect.

Four years ago my daughter penned these lines about starting to celebrate Juneteenth.   Her words are helping me.

My first Juneteenth

by Stacy Brown

My heart is heavy today.

This is my first Juneteenth.

I wasn't taught about this in school.

I didn't hear about this in church.

I didn't grow up discussing this with friends.

My ignorance wasn't all my fault,

but it's all my responsibility to fix it.

Someday I'll celebrate Juneteenth,

but this year I'm starting

with humbly and solemnly honoring it:

Mourning so many horrors, of past and present,

that white washed history has swept under the rug, 

acknowledging my own ignorance and bias,

and committing to doing whatever I can to do better going forward.

Today is my first Juneteenth.

It won't be my last.

Somber day, somber year

Feels like a somber 4th this year.

Feels like a somber year.

So unusual

Weird

Surreal

No friends gathering in the back yard tonight to view the fireworks...

Because …  no fireworks show this year

No gathering with family for months now

No snuggling with grandkids…

...

I’ve always been grateful to be an American.

I used to be proud…

But this year, I am humbled and sad.

I am embarrassed about how little I really knew about the history of my country.

And so this Fourth of July finds me more serious.

• Somber
• Quieter - well, except for fireworks exploding every night for weeks now!
• More thoughtful
• More intentional
• Choosing to listen to voices that I have not bothered to hear before
• Choosing to listen and learn
• Noticing how I have benefited from racism
• Processing how to handle my privilege

...

Speaking of privilege... 

Takes me back to my years in church leadership.

I used to preach sermons about a proper attitude about our blessings.

I used to sign my letters with the closing, "Blessed to be a blessing"

Because I really believed that I was...  blessed SO THAT I could be a blessing.

And I still believe that.  

I still want to use my blessings to bless other people.

That's the kind of person I want to be.

"With great blessing

comes great responsibility..."

But there was so much I did not realize.

It had not occurred to me that some of my blessings and some of my privilege came at such an unfair cost to others.  Well, maybe I knew parts of it.  Bits and pieces.  But maybe I had not yet taken time to get quiet and somber enough to sit under the truth that so many of our systems are cruel and unjust.  

Methinks this processing will be a LONG journey.  

But I have started.

…

On this day commemorating freedom and independence, I am embarking on a quest to learn how to stand for freedom for those Americans whose skin is darker than mine.  

I have much to learn.

I wish I had known better sooner.

I wish I were farther along.

But I am where I am.

And I can only start where I am.

Now I choose to know better. 

... so that I can do better.

My first Juneteenth

One of my first thoughts this morning was to ponder how to commemorate this day.

This date. This event of Juneteenth that I had not even heard of until we moved here three years ago.  I've learned so much in these three years - and even more in these last few weeks.  Mostly I've discovered that there is so,  SO much I don't know.

So I found myself making a commitment a few weeks ago - to learn.
I didn't even know where to start, but as soon as I began paying attention, the resources were suddenly coming at me from all directions!

So yes, today is important.
My daughter says it so well and is helping me.
Her words describe my heart - and so I am borrowing them and sharing them.
And I am joining her in honoring this day.
My first Juneteenth.

My first Juneteenth

by Stacy Brown

My heart is heavy today.

This is my first Juneteenth.

I wasn't taught about this in school.

I didn't hear about this in church.

I didn't grow up discussing this with friends.

My ignorance wasn't all my fault,

but it's all my responsibility to fix it.

Someday I'll celebrate Juneteenth,

but this year I'm starting

with humbly and solemnly honoring it:

Mourning so many horrors, of past and present,

that white washed history has swept under the rug, 

acknowledging my own ignorance and bias,

and committing to doing whatever I can to do better going forward.

Today is my first Juneteenth.

It won't be my last.

Thank you, thank you, Stacy, for giving voice to my heart.
But how does one honor such a momentous event?

The one instruction that keeps coming back to my mind... is to listen.
To really listen.
Listen and learn.
Read black authors
Hear black voices.

And so I am.
I have begun and I will continue.
One step at a time
One day at a time.
Starting on this day, my first Juneteenth...

The possession trap

Many of our friends have been hearing me (us) talk for the last eight years about our downsizing journey.  And what a journey it has been!  A huge process.  

It took time. 

It took energy and great effort.  

It took diligence and determination.

It took sacrifice.

There were lots of starts and stops.

Two steps forward and three steps back.

Slow progress

Baby steps

And we’re still not done - nor will we be.  

It’s all about phases.  

What works for this phase?

What is needed for this season of life?

We finished many of those phases and have started new ones.

We moved into smaller spaces and then even smaller.

After we sold the tree farm, we rented a small storage unit to keep selected things - not knowing what we might need or want in the future.  At that time we had no idea whether we might ever own property again or where we might end up.

...

And now here we are.

We did decide to settle down again in one spot.

We did buy another house.

And we are happy for the things that we kept.  

Well, MOST of them. ... Okay; I admit that there are still lots of things to get rid of - but they are mostly in the form of boxes that I must still sort through.  In terms of furnishings, we are pretty happy about what we kept.

In fact, I cannot count the times when we’ve shaken our heads in wonderment about how well things fit in to our new circumstances.  Over and over we marvel about something - like that cabinet Bob built when we were first married.  It was custom-designed to fill a specific gap in the old kitchen in Grandpa Frank’s farmhouse that we rented that year.  We built our own house a year later and that cupboard served us well until Bob built the regular kitchen cabinets into that huge kitchen.  A few years later it became a changing table in the nursery.  I think it became an office cabinet for a few years and I’ve lost track of what else.  …  Well, we kept that cabinet and it is once again a much-needed kitchen cabinet filling an important gap.

So many other versatile pieces have ended up being “just right” in the new/old place.  Mostly other cabinets that Bob has built through the years.  

In the early years he built me a beautiful lighted curio cabinet with glass doors.  A couple times in our moves to smaller places, it served other purposes as well - mostly for books as I recall. 

There was the era of taking down old barns and reclaiming the wood for other purposes - like tables, shelves, cabinets and even cabins.  After careful calculations, he used some of that barn wood to build a cabinet the perfect size and shape for our cherished big brown dishes.  

He really did build many, many different cabinets.   And no, we didn’t keep ALL of them. Our daughters are now using several of them.  

At any rate, as we have settled in and set up housekeeping once again, we have been amazed at how few things we need to purchase.  Basically just something to sit on - a love seat and matching chair.  And we did not mind - because I don’t think we had ever purchased new furniture before - in our entire lives!  We had always been blessed with hand-me-downs which served us well through foster kids and decades of youth parties.  We were grateful for every couch and chair that was given to us through the years and we pretty much wore them into the ground - so even if we hadn’t downsized them, it would have been time to replace them anyway. 

And, speaking of something to sit on...  
We did keep the rocking chair my mom rocked me in and later I rocked my daughters and eventually my grand-kids.  I am so glad that it survived the downsizing.

...

Sure enough; here we are.

Settling in again and putting down roots.
We love our old house in the city.

This morning I posted a lovely picture from our porch on Facebook.  
A friend posted this comment:  

"So tell me...
"What’s it like to get rid of all your clutter/stuff, travel and then settle back down?
"Have you managed to not fall into the "possession trap" again?"

That’s a fair question.

In fact, it is a great question.

My first response was that feeling of gratitude as I suddenly remembered how many of those things have worked out so well.  

And then lots of thoughts and feelings began scampering through my head. 

And then I thought maybe I would write about it.  

So I did.
And you've just read my answer. 
Well, part of it...
Yes, we have managed very well - maybe better than we might have guessed.

We also realize that we have changed.  We now appreciate simplicity so much more and we are committed to keeping our lives and our house free from clutter.

But that's another story...
Stay tuned.

Uncommon

An uncommon life.
That's what he called it.
That's what we have - an uncommon life.
I tend to agree.
And I am indeed grateful.
...
Reminds me of a song.
And of the way I want to live.
I want to lend my voice only to sounds of freedom.

Don't worry mother

It'll be alright

And don't worry sister

Say your prayers and sleep tight

And it'll be fine

Lover of mine

It'll be just fine

And lend your voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength

To that which you wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And you shall lead

A life uncommon

I've heard your anguish

I've heard your hearts cry out

We are tired, we are weary

But we aren't worn out

Set down your chains

Until only faith remains

Set down your chains

And lend your voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength

To that which you wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

A life uncommon

There are plenty of people

Who pray for peace

But if praying were enough

It would've come to be

Let your words enslave no one

And the heavens will hush themselves

To hear our voices ring out clear

With sounds of freedom

Sounds of freedom

Come on you unbelievers

Move out of the way

There is a new army coming

And we are armed with faith

To live, we must give

To live

And lend our voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend our strength

To that which we wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

And lend our voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend our strength

To that which we wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

A life uncommon

- Jewel

Regrets?

"I've never missed any of the stuff I got rid of!" 

I've heard more than one person say that after downsizing. But... 

I cannot honestly say that. There have certainly been things that I have missed - and there have been more than a few second thoughts about things that are gone. 

Does it hurt sometimes?

Yes, it does.

Do I make some bad decisions about what to keep and what to pitch?
Probably.

But you know what?
It is a process.
I am learning.
Certainly I will make unwise decisions.
Certainly it will be hard.
Of course, there may be regrets.
That's life!

But am I sorry that we took steps to change things and to be intentional about changing course for this season in our lives?
Absolutely NOT!

We are so, so thankful that we found the courage to do this thing. It has been well worth the cost and the occasional sadness or pain.

After all, if we had just stayed where we were and not made the changes, pain and sadness and difficulty would have come our way anyway. And we would have still been stuck there. How much better to have done the hard stuff so that we could get free to do the fun stuff!

...

In hindsight, as I look back from my new place of freedom, I'm thinking that perhaps "regret" is not the right word.  I think a better way to describe it is that there have been things that I grieve. I mourn the loss.  Several losses. I may have had to grieve when letting it go and I may have had to grieve since then.  It's okay.  It is healthy even - to take the time to mourn our losses.  

But it is not exactly the same as regret.

So yes, I mourn the losses, but I don't regret that we have done this thing.

That we have paid the price for our new freedom.

I love where we are now and I am very grateful.

The one-year lease

On that night many years ago we spoke of crazy ideas for the future.

Maybe we could sell the farm…

Maybe we could explore a bit…

Maybe we could experiment with different living situations…

Maybe we could live in an apartment.  

We had never lived in an apartment.

It might be fun.

Maybe we could rent a loft in a big city.

Maybe we could find a fixer-upper house near a university so we could rent rooms to international students.

Maybe we could go to the tropics for the winter.

Maybe we could get an RV and live on the road for awhile…

Maybe we would like to be free of land ownership.

Then again maybe we would decide to re-invest in another place.

…

Lots of ideas

We wondered what it would be like to try some of them.

We wondered if we could pull any of them off.

We knew it would take lots of steps to make it happen.

It would be a journey.  For sure.

It would require some huge steps.

Obstacles. Hurdles.

There would also be small steps.

Lots and lots of small steps.

…

We decided to give it a try.

To begin to move toward some of those dreams.

The first step would be to get free.  

Free of the stuff.  

Free of the property.

That would require some MAJOR downsizing.  

Forty years in that house meant the acquisitions and collections of a lifetime had taken root in closets, corners and storage areas.  

What a huge job!

But we began.

And we continued.

We wondered if we would ever get free.

It took months and months, but we kept going.

Piece by piece, box by box, we got ourselves free.

Finally it happened.

A date was set and we moved the last personal items out of the house so it was ready for new occupants.

…

The next step would be to experiment and explore.

To check out other places before deciding whether and where to settle down.

And that idea of living on the road...

Let’s see if it can make it work.

Mostly let’s see if we like it.

We did try part of one winter in a warmer place.

And then another winter… and another…

We did find a used RV.

We did figure out how we could afford to live on the road.

We did explore most of the corners of this country.

And we DID enjoy it.

We wondered out loud how long we would want to be full-timers.

In some ways we could imagine being content to do it for awhile.

On the other hand, there were some things that we didn’t so much love about it.

’Tis a lonely life - moving to a different place every month. Hard to put down roots or make friends. Then again we still didn’t know whether we wanted to put down roots yet.

And then there was the missing the kids and grandkids.  That was hard.

But there was another thing that kinda’ snuck up on us and surprised us.

It was almost as if we ran out of places to explore - at least with this mode of travel.

Sure; there were still lots of places that we would like to visit, but not with the rig.  Many of the places still on our list would probably be better explored with a small car or by train or plane.

Besides we remembered that we wanted to experiment with other housing options. 

And so we did.  We stayed in VRBO’s* here and there. We did get the small car for some fun road trips. We tried AmTrak and have decided that we definitely want to do that again - especially for some longer trips.

Suddenly (or maybe gradually) we found ourselves deciding to come off the road. 

To park the rig and settle down in one place for awhile.  

To try another Michigan winter. 

A one year lease seemed to be a good plan.

One year is not a huge commitment. Not a great risk.

A year might be long enough to let our souls catch up with our bodies.

Another chance to experiment.

A chance to explore a new part of Michigan and really get to know a place.

A chance to finish processing the rest of the stuff that has been in storage.

And so we did it.

We signed that one-year lease and we settled in.

We cleaned out our storage unit and we got rid of more stuff.

We discovered that there are many things that we enjoy about apartment dwelling.

We like our little town and we worked hard at trying to become part of it.

It has been a great landing spot for us in so many ways.  

It is close enough to our old stomping grounds that we can easily connect with friends and family. It is near enough to the grandkids to have regular contact.

And it is close enough to several universities that we have finally been able to start hanging out with international students.

Yes, it has been so good to stay put in one spot for awhile.

It has been a chance to ponder whether we will ever go back to life on the road.

And it has been good to continue purging those last few bins and boxes that got moved out of the big house without being processed. The goal is to get through the rest of them by the time our lease runs out next month. 

…

So what will we do at the end of that one-year lease?

Well, that is exactly what we have been wondering.

And that will likely be the topic of another post.

But I can say that this one-year lease has been a good thing.

Just what the doctor ordered.

We are grateful.

And... we look forward to the adventures that await us in the next phase.

...

Fast forward to the future - to find what we did at the end of that one-year lease.