My holiday focus: food or people?

When we think of the holidays, one of the things that make it so fun is food. 

Food

Lots of food.

Yummy food.

Special food.

Food that we don’t often get to have.

Traditional family recipes.

Comfort foods.

Exotic foods.

Favorite foods.

…

But obviously, it's more than food.

The other highlight of the holidays... 

People.

People we love.

People we are connected with.

People we belong to.

People we don’t see often.

People.

Relationships.

Not always so comfortable.

Maybe that’s why the comfort foods are so appealing.

I am excited about the people I get to see. I wish I could spend more time with them - and this is it.

So how about if I focus on the people at least as much as on the food? 

Maybe I can take an extra minute to ask someone about something that is important to them. And then to really listen.

I can speak peace.

I can spread good will.

…

I love to eat and I love to talk.

I guess you could say that my mouth is pretty important to me. 

I like to put yummy morsels in it and I like to speak words out of it.

Unfortunately I often tend to do both without really thinking.

Oops!

This would be a good time to be a bit more mindful about both.

To think about my lips… 

To choose which morsels I allow to enter my lips as well as which words I allow to escape my lips.

Ooh, yah, I can also use my lips to kiss the sweet faces of my grand babies and to smooch the lips of my honey. That’s fun, too.

...

Here's the cool thing. I can use my mouth for eating and I can use my mouth for speaking, but preferably not at the same time. So I guess what I'm trying to say is why not talk more and eat less. Even though, yes, I know that can get me in trouble, too.

…

Moral of the story:

I choose to celebrate the people as much as I do the food.
And you better believe I will celebrate the food!

Oops; put down that cell phone! Hee-hee!

Joy, hope, peace

On this date twelve years ago, we heard the dreaded "C" word.

On this day, today, I am grateful
I continue to be grateful.
Grateful for so many things.

Things like hope, joy and peace.
And a whole lot more.

By the way, these angel bears are special to me

because I got them from the Seton Cancer Center

during the weeks of radiation treatment.  

...

So much. So very much for which to be thankful.

...

For you, my reader, I wish for joy, hope, and peace.

Hunger

Hunger is often considered a negative thing.

It indicates a lack. 

A lack of something vitally important. 

Maybe even a severe lack.

Hunger is so often associated with poverty and injustice.

Because in many cases hunger really is a terrible thing, we correctly desire to eradicate it.

While writing the piece about waiting for hunger, I did a search for pictures for the word “hunger” and was inundated by powerful images of the face of world hunger. Looking at those sad and horrific scenes moves me to compassion and a desire to wipe out hunger and poverty. It is a dreadful thing, so we are right to want to remove it from the world.

…

But... an interesting thing can happen. 

Because real, desperate hunger is such a negative thing, I guess it kind of makes sense that we would try to avoid hunger in our own lives. As Americans, we have done a pretty good job of it. We don’t like to be hungry. It feels like deprivation. We do whatever we can to make sure that we don’t go hungry.

Consequently we rarely if ever even experience real hunger. Or if we do begin to feel hunger pangs, we rush to eat something so we won’t feel hungry.

But what if hunger is not always a bad thing? 

What if I didn’t think of it as unpleasant? 

I have much to learn about hunger and satiety and appetite. I’ve only taken baby steps so far. But I have learned to notice the sensation of hunger and to realize that it is not necessarily a bad thing.

Instead, in my case, it can actually be a reminder of my blessings. I DO have access to food. Enough food to quiet the rumblings of my stomach, and also enough food to keep me alive and healthy. That is not something that I want to take for granted. 

…

It has been awhile since I let myself experience the discomfort of feeling hungry. But I remember and have decided it's time. For a few days now, I have remembered to wait for hunger. I am actually glad to be back here. I am reminding myself of the positive aspects of the sensation.

In fact, sometimes I just want to celebrate that growling - because it means that my body finally has a chance to burn up some of those hundreds of calories that I’ve crammed into it over the past couple days. What a novel idea!

I guess it can be a gift that I choose to give myself. A much better gift to my body than overloading it with so much more than it needs and can handle.

And besides... 

Food tastes so much better

when I am actually hungry!!!

Wait for it

When it comes to weight management, one of the sanest concepts I’ve ever learned is to pay attention to my body. The most important cue to watch for is whether I’m hungry or not. Duh. 

If I’m hungry, then I can eat. 

If I’m not hungry, it’s not time for me to eat. 

The second concept is a natural partner to the first: 

Eat only until satisfied. 

Not until full or stuffed. 

Just until satisfied.

I came to realize that this is how “normal” people eat - "normal" meaning naturally thin people. It doesn’t matter how yummy something looks, if they’re not hungry, they don’t eat. And they know to stop eating when they are no longer hungry.

But this common sense approach and this sensitivity has been buried in many of us - for a huge variety of reasons.  I had dozens of personal reasons for eating - maybe I was feeling stressed, bored, lonely, anxious or nervous or maybe I just didn't want to miss out on anything… I had to train myself to hear that soft voice that could inform me whether I was really hungry or not. It was tricky, but I eventually learned to recognize the truth. Unfortunately, it is terribly easy to slip back into the mode of NOT listening for that voice. How quickly I can revert to eating for any or all of those other reasons.

I have been listening to the wrong reasons for awhile now so it’s time to find ways to tune in again to whether I am really hungry. Maybe I can remind myself of some of my own stories of how it works.

I remember this one time when I met a friend for lunch. We were both in a group studying this concept* and were trying to encourage each other in our food choices. I remember thinking and commenting that this was more food than I needed and that I would only need about half of it - AND that it would be a good idea to get a take-out box sooner than later. I also remember a bit of our conversation after having eaten nearly half of our food. 

“It might be time for me to stop eating.”

“I don’t need any more than this, although I’d love to eat the rest of it.”

“I don’t know; I’m not full yet.”

“But wait a minute; I’m not hungry anymore, am I?”

...

So there's my reminder for today. For this week:

Wait for hunger.

Eat only until no longer hungry.

…

* The book we were studying is Weigh Down by Gwen Shamblin.

Such silliness

Warning: this story is silly.

I mean absurdly, ridiculously silly and trivial.

But hey, I try to celebrate the little victories in life. Even the silly ones.

And maybe even learn from them.

…

You know how sometimes we sit around the table talking and laughing - maybe for hours? And you know how easy it is to keep munching and nibbling away at the things that are nearby? Obviously you are no longer hungry, but once the bloat of fullness fades a teeny bit and the tryptophan has lulled all sense of reason into oblivion, the contents of those giant platters and serving bowls somehow start to look appealing again.

Well, there I sat beginning to notice that succulent piece of turkey on the edge of that platter - or to think about how I might be able to find room for another small portion of that sweet potato concoction. I admit I was ready to reach for first one and then another…. Except for one minor detail. 

For some silly reason, there was water on my plate. Maybe I had poured out the last couple ounces of water from my glass to make room for something sparkly. I think it was something like that. I suppose it made sense at the time because surely I was done eating and finished with my plate.

At any rate, there was this little pool of water there in the middle of my plate - as I sat there sipping my sparkling beverage and enjoying the conversation and laughter floating around the room.

After awhile, sure enough, I began to notice that platter of turkey sitting nearby - AND another of ham. Oh, my; they were both so yummy and I had been careful not to eat very much. But now… Now after sitting here for a couple hours… Now maybe I could find room for just a little snipper…

Oh, wait; there’s a little pool of water on my plate. Okay; I won’t bother. I don’t need more food anyway. 

More talking and listening and laughing and learning what’s happening in everybody’s life. Good times.

Oh, but look! There is that amazing stuffing with all of the secret ingredients stuffed inside. I sure would be nice to get another tiny serving of that. Let’s see; maybe I will. Oh, wait; nope, there’s still that little pool of water on my plate. Wouldn’t want it to make my stolen serving of stuffing soggy, now would I?

Of course, by now I began to argue with myself. I could get up and take that offending plate to the kitchen and get rid of the little pool of water. But no, that would take effort. And besides this gives me a good excuse to not eat more. Hmmm… Interesting.

Back to the friendly banter in the room. Fun times.

But it happened again. And again. There was that pecan-encrusted sweet potato dish. Oh, yum. Ooh, and the scalloped corn soufflé or whatever it is called. Maybe it’s time for just a little more of one of those. Gotta’ eat my vegetables; right? Oops; nope. There’s that little pool of water. How silly! 

Of course, by then, I had become aware what was happening - smart girl that I am. It had dawned on me that I had before me a perfect deterrent - albeit a silly one. And that my laziness was at least helping me to avoid some serious over-eating. I had to chuckle while silently congratulating myself. Such silliness. But hey, maybe this is what they call mindful eating. This noticing and monitoring my own private internal battle - and even recognizing the humor in it. Who knows? 

…

The moral of the story?

In my battle against gluttony, one of the few things that seems to work for me (WHEN I choose to employ it!) is to wait. Instead of popping something into my mouth, simply wait. Wait a little longer before eating that morsel that is calling my name. Wait. Maybe 15 minutes. Maybe I can only make it 5 minutes. Or maybe I can sail through the 15 minutes and decide to wait even longer. Maybe I can wait until I finish this project or cross one more item off my to-do list. 

Maybe I can grab onto some silly reason to wait. Like maybe there is a little pool of water on my plate. And maybe I’m too lazy to get out of my chair and do something about it. So maybe I will let that become my reason to wait. Whatever works. Whatever reason I can find to postpone eating something that I don’t need. 

Creative procrastination. That’s what I like to call it. 

Maybe that’s the moral of the story.

Maybe I can continue to learn from it.

Maybe I can be alert to whatever will help me next week when the Christmas foods appear.

…

How about you? 

Do you employ any silly tactics to avoid gluttony during this season of abundance?

More power to you.

Sunday morning musings

I wonder whether there will be pro-life teaching from the pulpits of America today.

I wonder if there will be reference to Good News.

I wonder if there will be messages of peace on earth and good will toward all men.

I wonder whether there will be any preaching about loving our neighbors as ourselves. Or will there be talk about protecting ourselves against them?

I wonder if there will be discussion about the words of Jesus when he said to turn the other cheek. Specifically in Missionary Churches where I grew up, I wonder whether there is still any consideration for our Mennonite roots.  For a call to non-violence.

I wonder if anyone will ask what Jesus would do.

I wonder.

AIDS Awareness Day

I wrote this five years ago and could benefit from reading it again and remembering some of these things that I had conveniently forgotten.

...

Today is World AIDS Day - dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection.  I won't presume to tell you what you should do about this fact.  I don't even know yet what I'm going to do.  But I can mention some things that we could do.

I could spend some time thinking about a few facts:

-that AIDS has killed more than 25 million people between 1981 and 2007

-that of the estimated 2 million who died in 2007, about 270,000 were children

I could let myself be appalled at the numbers of people currently living with AIDS:
-one million in the Congo
-one million in Uganda
-over a million each in Kenya, Tanzania, Zambia and the USA
-nearly two million each in Mozambique and Zimbabwe
-two million in Nigeria
-5.5 million in South Africa
-5.7 million in India

I can applaud the efforts of those who:
-have chosen to minister to AIDS orphans across the African continent
-are using their fame & their wealth to try to curb the spread of disease
-have invested their time to do research and find cures

I can grieve with those who grieve.
I can remember specific people who have died from AIDS.
I can celebrate their lives and the contributions they made to this world.
I can express my gratitude for having known some of them.
I can pay tribute to the amazing and talented Ron Sims.
I believe I am a better person for loving and having been loved by him.