Feels like a somber 4th this year.
Feels like a somber year.
So unusual
Weird
Surreal
No friends gathering in the back yard tonight to view the fireworks...
Because … no fireworks show this year
No gathering with family for months now
No snuggling with grandkids…
...
I’ve always been grateful to be an American.
I used to be proud…
But this year, I am humbled and sad.
I am embarrassed about how little I really knew about the history of my country.
And so this Fourth of July finds me more serious.
- Somber
- Quieter - well, except for fireworks exploding every night for weeks now!
- More thoughtful
- More intentional
- Choosing to listen to voices that I have not bothered to hear before
- Choosing to listen and learn
- Noticing how I have benefited from racism
- Processing how to handle my privilege
...
Speaking of privilege...
Takes me back to my years in church leadership.
I used to preach sermons about a proper attitude about our blessings.
I used to sign my letters with the closing, "Blessed to be a blessing"
Because I really believed that I was... blessed SO THAT I could be a blessing.
And I still believe that.
I still want to use my blessings to bless other people.
That's the kind of person I want to be.
"With great blessing
comes great responsibility..."
But there was so much I did not realize.
It had not occurred to me that some of my blessings and some of my privilege came at such an unfair cost to others. Well, maybe I knew parts of it. Bits and pieces. But maybe I had not yet taken time to get quiet and somber enough to sit under the truth that so many of our systems are cruel and unjust.
Methinks this processing will be a LONG journey.
But I have started.
…
On this day commemorating freedom and independence, I am embarking on a quest to learn how to stand for freedom for those Americans whose skin is darker than mine.
I have much to learn.
I wish I had known better sooner.
I wish I were farther along.
But I am where I am.
And I can only start where I am.
Now I choose to know better.
... so that I can do better.
