Where's the magic? I wonder

I’ve been wondering about something.

And I’ve been noticing some things.

I’ve noticed that sometimes we get all passionate and loud about things at election time. We vehemently proclaim that this one particular thing is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing.  That nothing else matters as much as this particular thing.

We get so passionate about THAT THING that we will go against our own better judgment on other very important things.

I think I get that - although it seems to me to be an unfortunate way to live.

I wonder if we are missing something.

I wonder if we are being unwise and untrue to our own conviction when we use this "all or nothing" approach.  When we put all of our hope and faith in one person or one party.

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Yep, I wonder about things.

That's a big part of what this blog is about.

You are welcome to listen in to some of my wonderings, but I should probably warn you that this one might get a little long.  Because yah, I seem to be wondering about complicated things lately. Things that don't have simple solutions.

I wonder for example about those of us who are pro-life. We celebrate the sanctity of human life and we might say that this is THE most important issue - so important that we even consider putting someone in office that otherwise we really do NOT want. Someone that we would be ashamed to tell our grandkids we voted for.

I wonder about other examples - like Black Lives Matter. I could wonder if this is THE MOST IMPORTANT issue - and can understand that it IS for many people. I can even understand how someone could be so passionate about this that they can barely think about anything else.

Or maybe my issue is the refugee dilemma.  Maybe we believe that welcoming refugees needs to be a top priority. Maybe we believe that it is foundational to who America is. Or maybe we believe that we have a Biblical mandate to welcome the alien and refugee.

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I get it. 

I get that we can become pretty passionate about the issues that we think are the most important ones.  And I think that’s a good thing.

But the thing I wonder about is how we can get so passionate and so loud about our most important issue at one time of the year - and yet at other times of the year we don’t seem to be doing anything about that issue.  

Do we think that the ballot box is magic? 

Do we think it is the only place to connect with that “thing” - and to pour out our passion? 

Are we maybe even a little bit happy to “forget” about that passion and tension the rest of the year?

But then there’s something else I wonder about.  

What about the fact that we sometimes collectively elect “the right person” that is supposed to fix this thing - but then it doesn’t get fixed? What happened to the magic?

By the way, I’m preaching to myself here.  I’ve been around this election cycle a few times. Well, and I’ve lived similar cycles in my own life. My own personal priorities. I can generate passion and lots of noise and determination for a season - only to realize months later that I’ve lost the passion or have forgotten to follow-through - or at least that the magic didn’t happen.  

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Maybe I mostly wonder if there is anything that we can do about it all.

Are there other ways to “fix the problem” beyond that one moment? 

Other avenues besides (and alongside) the voting booth?

...

Okay; let's take these examples one at a time...

I remember a long, long time ago when I was a loud pro-lifer and was confronted by a couple different people who quietly challenged me and the harshness of my words. That was probably when I began to wonder if there were other ways to make a difference.  Maybe even better ways.

Back in those days, our wonderings led us to challenge ourselves. To do some research. To take some risks. To fill our house with kids who needed a family.  

But now at this moment I wonder again. I wonder what else I can do to value the sanctity of human life. I’m not up to taking in any more foster kids, but maybe I can find ways to reach out to the single moms in our building.  I can offer words of encouragement to the frazzled mom with a bunch of kids in Walmart rather than express my silent impatience with her or them.

What about you? If you consider yourself pro-life, what can you do besides that one moment in the voting booth?  Because here’s the thing.  If we find a whole bunch of other things (or even one or two!) that we can do to protect human life…  AND if we actually DO them… Well, do you know what? We can do those “other” things NO MATTER who gets elected. And maybe... Probably... that's where the magic comes.

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Or what about my other examples?

Maybe we passionately believe that black lives matter.  

I wonder what we can do about that.

I DO believe that black lives matter and my heart is crushed about the fear and the agony and pain facing black mommas across the country. Well, and not just black mommas, but also white mommas with black sons.  I am saddened about the hopelessness that so many black teenagers face and I wish that I could make things better.  I know that so many things don’t work, and I can’t help but wonder what WILL work. 

More specifically, I wish I knew something that I can do personally. After living in white farm country all my life, I now live where I actually see black faces in my neighborhood and at the store, but still I wonder.  I often feel clueless.  As I’m out for my walk, I watch for opportunities to bump into my neighbors and wish I could find ways to reach out to them. Sometimes I “rehearse” kind things that maybe I can say. Yah, maybe I’m silly, and I sure feel like I'm not doing much, but I want to make a difference. To affirm value.

What about you?

Do you live in circumstances where you can make a difference for black lives? 

Have you found ways to reach out and lift someone from discouragement or fear?

Maybe we can teach each other. 

I wonder.

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And what about those refugees?

When we see the bruised and bloody faces on TV, it can be so overwhelming.

What in the world can we do?

How can we help?

When I feel like I can’t make a dent in this horrific mess, I sometimes have to remind myself that maybe I can make a difference to one. And maybe to another. 

Maybe I can speak a kind word to the girl wearing the beautiful hijab at the Farmers’ Market.

Maybe I can offer a chair or a smile.

When I read about ex-pat families who are driven out of their homes because of the relentless bullying and even violence, I wonder what in the world I can do. 

And so I continue to think and ponder and wonder.

I can watch for faces and listen for accents that are different than mine and try to offer human kindness.

I remember what it feels like to be the ex-pat.

That feeling of being a spectacle. All. The. Time.

An outsider.

May I never forget.

I want to do what I can to welcome those in exile.

But I make mistakes.

Goofs. Big ones

Faux pas

But hopefully I do more to make people feel welcome and affirmed and valued than I do to make them feel like outsiders.  Hopefully.

Certainly one moment in a voting booth is not going to be magic.

Maybe the only way to make the magic happen is to do it in real time.

In real life.

Maybe we can find one REAL thing we can actually DO to make a difference in the area that we think is so important. 

To make the world a better place for one of these human lives that we are passionate about.

To be a real-life super-hero...

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Remember that I’m mostly talking to myself here.

Wondering. Pondering.
But maybe you wonder, too.
Maybe you can help me think of things that I/we can actually do.

When I hear myself saying that I am passionate about “this” or "that"…

When I notice myself getting worked up about whether my candidate will win…

When I begin to tune out heart-breaking news stories because I feel overwhelmed…

I wonder…

I wonder what I can do. Besides the voting booth.

I wonder who I can help.

I wonder how I can at least promote civil discussion.

I wonder if I can be a catalyst to find common ground so that we can work together.

We might say it is the least we can do, but I wonder if maybe it is the best thing.

The best place to start.

Because I probably can’t do much by myself.

Maybe you feel like you can’t make a difference.

But what if we keep talking and listening?

What if we work together?

Maybe that’s where the magic is.

I wonder…

Bad news or good news?

There's bad news and there's good news; which do you want first?

We can easily find an abundance of bad news - which may elicit responses of sadness or anger or fear of impending doom. Some people might try to find something positive in the bad news they hear, while other people seem to revel in finding bad news and redistributing it to everyone who will listen.


There is also good news to be found - if we look hard enough. Recently some of the networks have been deliberately doing "good news" features on their nightly news broadcasts - stories of good will to balance out the negative ones. I appreciate that.

By the way, I am referring to "news" in both a specific and a general sense - both the national and world news on TV or the internet as well as the tidbits of news we encounter throughout the day - like hearing about the latest cancer diagnosis or neighborhood tragedy.

At times it can seem like there is more bad news than good news - and I suppose that might be true - but I think it also has much to do with perspective.

Perspective is a funny thing. Perspective can be influenced by several factors. Factors like temperament, values, and the source of the news. There are probably several others as well but in my attempt to simplify this process for myself, I'm looking at these three.

Temperament
Do I tend to be generally optimistic or more of a downer?

We naturally tend to lean one way or another on the optimist/pessimist range - and perhaps we can't change that natural tendency. But maybe, just maybe, we can tweak it a bit by training ourselves to look at the opposite perspective or at least a different one. Now I happen to like good news better than bad news. I feel happier, safer and more secure when I can hear the news with some kind of positive spin - so I tend to choose to try to see the rose among the thorns. Yes, I might be a Pollyanna, but I'd rather be her than Debbie Downer - which could quite naturally become a default role for me.

Values
Where do I stand on issues?
What things really matter to me?
What are the things I value most highly?

Obviously, things that seem like bad news to me may sound like good news to someone who values different things than I do. And conversely, the things that I hail as good news may sound scary to you if you have landed on the opposite side of an issue. So it makes sense that different people will have differing viewpoints of any given news item. Conservatives may rejoice while liberals mourn the decision of the day - and vice-versa.

In the political realm, I was always a bit confused when my conservative friends would try to make an election strictly about values - and maybe about only one specific value. Be a values voter, they would say. That seemed strange to me because... Well, isn't everyone a values voter? Don't we all vote our values? Don't liberals also vote for people who they think will work for the things they value - like basic human rights, like caring for the poor and for the planet and the environment?

Source 
Where do I get my news?

As I already mentioned, yes, I am referring to which news program I watch every night, but also to the people who I allow to speak into my life about the latest development - whether global or local.

Given the choice, most of us will tune our TV or computer to the channel that aligns with our own values. We want to get our news from someone we can trust - which can't help but include being someone who agrees with me/us. Someone we consider to be telling the truth - because none of us wants to be misinformed.

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Philip Yancey, one of my favorite authors, spoke of this topic as he looked back over the past year. Obviously there was much bad news in 2014 and he mentioned many of the items: Ebola, missing planes, racial tension, and violence on so many fronts.

But he also included a list of good news from the year - and I appreciate this perspective and the balance he offers by presenting this list.

• Abortions in the US are at their lowest rate since 1976.
• Violent crime has hit a 20-year low, with overall crime falling for fifteen straight years.
• Globally, absolute poverty (what’s necessary to afford minimal standards of food, clothing, health care and shelter) has reached the lowest level in recorded history.
• Deaths from wars in this century are fewer than at any comparable period in the twentieth century.
• Life expectancy continues to rise, reaching 78 in the US and 71 worldwide (up from 59 in 1970).
• Child mortality rates have dropped dramatically in the last forty years while education and literacy rates have soared. 

As for me, certainly I prefer getting my news from someone I can trust, someone who shares my values, but I also want to stretch myself a bit by hearing from those with a different perspective. I just might be able to learn more from someone on the opposite side of the table than from those nearest me.

But I also remind myself of the temperament and personality factors. If I am going to be alert to my own inner battle between optimism and pessimism... If I am going to work hard at having a fair and balanced perspective in my reaction to other people's news... Well, then I also might want to judge my source on the basis of their temperament and personality as well.

Whether referring to my choice of nightly news anchor or my favorite blogger or the sweet old neighbor lady who knows and shares the latest gossip - whoever might be the "source" I listen to for news, maybe I need to consider her record. Is she consistently correct? Is he always angry about something? Does he tend to rant about things? Is she always wringing her hands with worry? Does this source offer an abundance of bad news or do they provide some balance? Do they present a reasonable approach to what is happening?

When someone is always ranting about the awful news in the world, I will likely take their opinion with a grain of salt. If someone can see only one side of an issue with no acknowledgment that there may be other valid opinions, I'm likely to be wary.


~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~   

How about you?

There is good news and there is bad news.

Which do you want first?

Or perhaps more aptly, how will you find a balanced and wise perspective?

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~   


...and now I begin to think of an alternate title: Is it bad news or good news?

That's actually what I feel like asking sometimes when someone breathlessly tells me some juicy morsel and I can't tell if they think it is terrible or wonderful. Or maybe it's obvious which label they would use but it doesn't seem quite so obvious to me.

Then again it might actually be a good question to ask myself about any given tidbit of news. Like maybe if instead of immediately judging the information by my own particular prejudices and preparing my personal rant, if maybe I would pause to think about those to whom this is good news or to whom this is bad news, I might be a bit more compassionate.

Maybe.

Maybe it's not always easy to tell if something is good news or bad news.

You say you love us...

The battle lines have been drawn and there is so much bad feeling in the air between gays and Christians. I admit being fearful to say almost anything because of the likely backlash. But my heart breaks. When I hear the awful things said about gays, part of me wants to ask the person speaking, "What if it were your son? Your daughter?" I want to ask if they have given any thought to how it would feel in that case. Or "If it were true that your son or daughter were gay, how would it feel for them to hear what you are saying?"

Unfortunately I know that there are sons and daughters hiding in fear because they have heard what dad or mom or grandpa or grandma or some other relative is saying. They have heard the rants and know that they are not welcome - as long as they are gay. They have tried everything they know to "pray away the gay" or to "be healed" or whatever it takes. They have read the books that have been pushed on them and heard the testimonials of gays who "are better now." Unfortunately they also know the vast number of people who can't brag about stories like that because their prayers were not answered so happily. If they want to be accepted, they dare not be honest; their only option is to hide in fear.

Why does this have to be a battle? Why do we Christians like to turn it into something that we have to win? Why can't we love gays just the way they are? You know, sort of like we love other people just the way they are. Well, at least we are supposed to.

I rarely hear Christians ranting about divorced people and their evil agenda - and I'm glad it is rare. I can't remember the last time I heard someone calling out an obese friend for their gluttony and remind them that they are going to hell because of it. I'm really glad about the grace that covers that sin. So why in the world do we treat gay people the way we do? It breaks my heart and yes, I believe it breaks the heart of God. There I said it. So go ahead and judge me for being an ally or a liberal.

I wasn't always an ally - and could barely be called one now because I really don't like to make my conservative friends mad at me. In fact I have been heard saying some of those conservative lines. I'm embarrassed now by how unloving I must have sounded. My "love" was not what you could call unconditional. That was before I really knew a gay person well enough to just love him. Just plain love him.  You know, like I loved other people, faults and all. Before I hung out long enough to know what my precious lesbian friend is really going through and before I felt her pain in my gut.

Sometimes when I talk about this, people reply, "I don't hate gays; I just want them to understand the consequences of their sin." That leaves me confused - because I don't see them following that same logic with other people. I mean we are talking about nice people who don't make it a practice of going around pointing out the faults and sins in other people. They don't demand their friends to be free from sin before they'll stand alongside them. They don't have a habit of lecturing and preaching at people about their sin. Except gay people.

I suppose that's why this post by Justin Lee hit me so hard.

If you love gay people, why doesn't it seem like it?

Five-minute Friday: HERE

Five-minute Friday - when we set the timer & write for five minutes - with no editing
Today's word: HERE

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I am here - stuck in the middle.
On Facebook.
In social settings.
In life.

I have lots of right-wing conservative friends and I also have a bunch of flaming liberal friends - well, and pretty much everything in between. And I like that. Sometimes. But sometimes not so much. Some days Facebook is not a comfortable place to be - what with all of the colorful posters and two-word slogans screaming from my news feed. Then there are the days when I might want to post something heartfelt - like "I really like Michele Obama" - or some other potentially controversial status. But I think twice - or thrice or more times - because I'm pretty sure SOMEBODY will yell at me. Well, maybe not yell, but scold me or condemn me or jump down my throat or something. Or lecture me. Or label me.

Sometimes I'm tempted to de-friend everybody who disagrees with me - but then I wouldn't have any friends. Besides these are my friends. I like them. AND I can learn from my friends on both sides.

Besides most of the time I kinda' like being HERE - stuck in the middle - even though it feels like I don't belong anywhere. Here is where I am. Here can be a pretty good place.

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I have both conservative and liberal parts within me and I think I can understand both viewpoints. I hope that I am conservative in the best sense of the word - as in conserving resources, taking good care of people and things and responsibilities. I admit that I am naturally conservative when it comes to being cautious or wanting to do the right thing. On the other hand, I also hope that I am liberal in the best meanings of that term - that I am generous and lavish - extravagant even - with my love and compassion, with my respect and loyalty, with service and helpfulness, and most of all with grace.

Yep, I am HERE - stuck in the middle. And that's okay.

The bride

Best-selling author Anne Rice has renounced Christianity, but not Christ. Reactions to that news are varied: empathy, identification, sadness, judgment, scoffing, disagreement, admonition, anger, admiration, respect… My first reflex was to completely understand her frustration and to agree with some of her conclusions as stated on her Facebook page.

“Today I quit being a Christian. I'm out. I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being 'Christian' or to being part of Christianity. It's simply impossible for me to 'belong' to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten years, I've tried. I've failed. I'm an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.

“I'm out. In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian. Amen.”

I know that feeling of not belonging anymore, of not wanting to identify with the extreme right-wing group-think mentality that is so prevalent in evangelical circles. Like Ms. Rice, I am beginning to feel like an outsider – not from the body of Christ, mind you, but from the legalistic, anti-grace political machine of organized religion. For a very long time I’ve been sad that Christians have come to be known for what we’re against rather than what we are for and how we love.

Some are saying that they hope Anne Rice can find a loving caring segment of the body of Christ where she could be at home. I can agree with that wish, but maybe it misses the point she is making – that Christianity is becoming known for some ugly characteristics. Instead of pointing our fingers at her and being upset with her, shouldn't we be concerned about the things that are so very wrong within the church?

Interestingly, this is not a new problem. Jesus-followers in other parts of the world have avoided the term Christian for some time. When we in the West first heard of that happening, some of us judged their motives; perhaps they are trying to avoid persecution or are guilty of diluting the Gospel. In reality, they likely know more about persecution than we can even imagine. Instead the reason for avoiding this term is because it is an inaccurate label; it means something completely different in those cultures than it originally meant.

And now a similar phenomena is happening here in our own country - that the label "Christian" conjures up all kinds of hateful stereotypes. What are we to do about this perception? Different people come up with different tactics. Some choose to try to change Christianity into something that more closely resembles our leader. Others have given up on that attempt and feel that they must disassociate themselves from the hateful brand of Christianity that seems so un-Christlike. No matter which route you or I choose, somebody is going to find fault with it and question our wisdom and our motives as they have done with Anne Rice.

So what is the best God-honoring stance for me? Should I focus my energy and resources on trying to change the church? What can be done that might make a difference? Do we need to be part of the body of Christ? Does that mean that we must be members of the institutional church?

May God give Anne Rice wisdom to use her vast influence in a Jesus-honoring way. And God help me to be grace-filled and God-glorifying in my little world as well.

May the bride of Christ be beautiful and ready for her bridegroom.