The battle lines have been drawn and there is so much bad feeling in the air between gays and Christians. I admit being fearful to say almost anything because of the likely backlash. But my heart breaks. When I hear the awful things said about gays, part of me wants to ask the person speaking, "What if it were your son? Your daughter?" I want to ask if they have given any thought to how it would feel in that case. Or "If it were true that your son or daughter were gay, how would it feel for them to hear what you are saying?"
Unfortunately I know that there are sons and daughters hiding in fear because they have heard what dad or mom or grandpa or grandma or some other relative is saying. They have heard the rants and know that they are not welcome - as long as they are gay. They have tried everything they know to "pray away the gay" or to "be healed" or whatever it takes. They have read the books that have been pushed on them and heard the testimonials of gays who "are better now." Unfortunately they also know the vast number of people who can't brag about stories like that because their prayers were not answered so happily. If they want to be accepted, they dare not be honest; their only option is to hide in fear.
Why does this have to be a battle? Why do we Christians like to turn it into something that we have to win? Why can't we love gays just the way they are? You know, sort of like we love other people just the way they are. Well, at least we are supposed to.
I rarely hear Christians ranting about divorced people and their evil agenda - and I'm glad it is rare. I can't remember the last time I heard someone calling out an obese friend for their gluttony and remind them that they are going to hell because of it. I'm really glad about the grace that covers that sin. So why in the world do we treat gay people the way we do? It breaks my heart and yes, I believe it breaks the heart of God. There I said it. So go ahead and judge me for being an ally or a liberal.
I wasn't always an ally - and could barely be called one now because I really don't like to make my conservative friends mad at me. In fact I have been heard saying some of those conservative lines. I'm embarrassed now by how unloving I must have sounded. My "love" was not what you could call unconditional. That was before I really knew a gay person well enough to just love him. Just plain love him. You know, like I loved other people, faults and all. Before I hung out long enough to know what my precious lesbian friend is really going through and before I felt her pain in my gut.
Sometimes when I talk about this, people reply, "I don't hate gays; I just want them to understand the consequences of their sin." That leaves me confused - because I don't see them following that same logic with other people. I mean we are talking about nice people who don't make it a practice of going around pointing out the faults and sins in other people. They don't demand their friends to be free from sin before they'll stand alongside them. They don't have a habit of lecturing and preaching at people about their sin. Except gay people.
I suppose that's why this post by Justin Lee hit me so hard.
If you love gay people, why doesn't it seem like it?
What a thought-provoking piece, Kaye. I wonder why it is we talk about other sins behind people's backs but we talk about sin of being gay to their faces? Well, I don't. I talk about everybody's sin behind their backs - something I clearly need to work on. ;-) Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kendra. It's tricky to know when to speak. Sometimes I think I should say more and other times I think I say too much.
DeleteI cannot think of anyone I have ever hated, Kaye, ever. Well, I almost hated my principal once because she truly was on a daily quest to do everything in her power to point out every fault I had or thought I had. However, when I finally gave in and asked God to change my heart towards her, the taunting became less and less and when she retired she asked me to do her retirement party. Back to your subject, I have guys relatives and I could never hate them, dislike them, or never not associate with them. I do not agree with their lifestyle, but I do not say anything to them about it, because they have never asked. Maybe they already know, but they do know I care about them. I agree with you, it is our job as Christians to love EVERYONE, and God's job to do any judging or correcting. I am not perfect and God knows that full well and there have been so call well meaning Christians who have told me if I was a better Christian, my son would not have had some of the problems he had in school. That also came from a preacher....not in our church. If I was not grounded in the Lord, who knows where I would be today in my faith. Thanks Kaye for standing by your friend.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shirley, for your kind and sensitive words. You are one of the most loving people I have ever known. I cried when I was writing this post and I am crying again when reading your comment. We can be so cruel - to each other and especially to outsiders. I have so much to learn about grace. Opening my heart to more and more gay friends is helping me with that and hopefully making me a better person. Thanks again for taking time to read and to comment.
DeleteLove is love. The christian's God is made of Love, He is also the only one to judge his creatures that he made with love. Man is supposed to judge himself before he can judge another. Also why on earth would man be the judge to tell others who they can and can not love. AAHHHHH. I think everything that is going on with the Gay and Lesbian community is sad. I just don't understand how someone or people can hate a group of people so much. I try to love everyone. I try to be respectful because I know in the end those that I have shown love with give it right back to me. I did enjoy this post. I think you hit it on the nail. They are people. We are people. I am human. I am love. Let's just love. Thanks for sharing your words and insight in this blog post.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Candy, for reading and for your kind words. Good words: love and respect. Much needed.
DeleteKaye I wrote something yesterday but not sure why it did not come up. I just wanted to say what a beautifully written post. We she look at ourselves first if we wish to judge others. We all have our own journey and life is hard enough without someone trying to tell you how you should live it. Have a great day
ReplyDeleteIt looks like a couple of my notifications didn't come through yesterday; I wonder why. But thanks for persisting and thank you for your good words.
DeleteHope you have a great day, too.