One Magic Moment

Once upon a time we worked at a lighthouse with a team of six people.

One evening Bob and I found ourselves alone in the keepers’ quarters.

Alone in the whole place and the whole lonely shoreline.

I was just reminded of that evening and of how tired we were from the day’s work.

But I was also reminded that I paid attention to the potential of a magic moment and pushed myself just enough to get down the stairs and out the door to the beach - yes, in my PJs.  What a glorious memory.

How many times do I miss magical moments?

Maybe I’m too busy

Too tired

Maybe I don’t even notice the idea

Nor pause to consider the possibility

So now, today, I am reminding myself to watch for such magic.

To pause and consider the moment - and what could maybe happen.

To provide space to welcome magic moments.

Photo credit: Bob Sims

You can read more about that PJ sunset here. 

Thankful Thursday: seedless oranges

Thankful, yes - for SO many things.

Just now while peeling my orange I suddenly found myself once again remembering the orange groves around Fillmore, California.

I remember the neighbor who gave me oranges from her tree.

And she let me pick some of them!

I remember learning about the netting the growers put on the trees to keep out the birds - to produce seedless oranges… 

I do not understand all the details about cross-pollination 

but I do love seedless oranges.

And I am once again so dang grateful for those months in that place.

For those years and those places that we were able to call home for a minute 

A season 

A month

What an extraordinary thing 

A great privilege

I continue to be astonished

And grateful

An August morning in the country

*Lines from my journal - seven years ago today...

...

What a glorious morning - all fresh-washed and lovely. 

The hostas bloom
amongst the black-eyed Susans on the hill. 

Deer tracks criss-cross the driveway

and gather at the mud puddles

with some smaller paw prints - presumably raccoon. 

Suddenly - lo and behold - the deer themselves! 

Two of them, then another,

probably much more startled than I. 

Bounding off, they seem to fly. 

How majestic!

Maybe not a writer that day

(Written on December 12, 2010)

Tis a lovely day in the neighborhood. 

There's nothing quite like the view outside my window. 

Amazing.

Inspiring.




I sit here in awe, wishing to describe the beauty, but the words won't come together adequately.  

Maybe I'm not a writer this morning. 

Maybe it's a day for rest. 

A day for wonder.

For peace.

A day to breathe deeply.

Maybe I'll just sit and bask in the beauty. 
Ahh...

Amazing Day #11: Money talks

I love Tuesday nights.
That's when we volunteer at a conversational English "class" for International students.  
Last night's topic:  Money talks

We talked about lots of different angles surrounding the topic of money and wealth and power and happiness.  And necessities and luxuries.  And choosing how to make money and how to use it.  

'Twas a good time.  Some fun and laughter and even some sadness.  Some agreement as well as disagreement.  

At the end of the evening we were each given a chance to say what we might do with a million dollars.  Some of the answers were fun or funny, and many were predictable.  Several were wise.  

And one was awesome.

When it was his turn a student from the other side of the world explained what a million American dollars would translate to in his country and then described his dream to build a school there. It took only a few seconds to realize that this was not some pie-in-the-sky dream of "what I would love to do if I win the lottery" - but that instead this is exactly his plan for his life.  This is in fact why he is here in America - to take the next steps to make this dream happen.

Turns out that he has already been a teacher back home and he obviously knows what he's talking about.  He has carefully thought through his ideas - and the rest of us sat staring at him in amazement.  We broke into applause a couple times and some of us may or may not have shed some tears.  

What an amazing moment!
What an amazing guy!

...

Oh, yah, a few of us changed our answers.  
We decided if we got a million bucks we would invest in his school!!!

...

Read other posts from my 31 Amazing Days challenge here.

Uncommon

An uncommon life.
That's what he called it.
That's what we have - an uncommon life.
I tend to agree.
And I am indeed grateful.
...
Reminds me of a song.
And of the way I want to live.
I want to lend my voice only to sounds of freedom.

Don't worry mother

It'll be alright

And don't worry sister

Say your prayers and sleep tight

And it'll be fine

Lover of mine

It'll be just fine

And lend your voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength

To that which you wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And you shall lead

A life uncommon

I've heard your anguish

I've heard your hearts cry out

We are tired, we are weary

But we aren't worn out

Set down your chains

Until only faith remains

Set down your chains

And lend your voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend your strength

To that which you wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

A life uncommon

There are plenty of people

Who pray for peace

But if praying were enough

It would've come to be

Let your words enslave no one

And the heavens will hush themselves

To hear our voices ring out clear

With sounds of freedom

Sounds of freedom

Come on you unbelievers

Move out of the way

There is a new army coming

And we are armed with faith

To live, we must give

To live

And lend our voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend our strength

To that which we wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

And lend our voices only

To sounds of freedom

No longer lend our strength

To that which we wish

To be free from

Fill your lives

With love and bravery

And we shall lead

A life uncommon

- Jewel

Brand new cousins

You can't imagine how fun it is

to be grandparents!

That's what our friends used to tell us. We were past sixty before we had grand-kids which meant that many of our friends were well ahead of us in the grandparent game.

Turns out they were right. It IS great fun to be grandparents. I'll never forget how amazing it was to hold that first little off-spring of the next generation.

And it just kept getting more and more fun as she grew and began to know us and then to respond. What fun to watch her begin to talk and to understand things and to learn. Just like with our own kids, each stage brought new delights.

What could be better?!?

Well, then she had a little brother and the fun began all over again.

This time there was the added feature of watching her with him. The awe and amazement on her face were intense. Her desire to touch him. Oh, what fun to watch them grow together. Good buddies they are. Most of the time.

What could be more fun?!?

 

Well, now along comes a cousin. The first cousin. Oh, the wonder of the fact that there is a baby growing in Aunt Stacy's belly. Getting to help open all the fun gifts and cute little clothes at the baby shower. And now finally getting to meet their face to face. Oh, what fun! Amazement, astonishment, fascination and giggles about the funny faces she makes. The thrill of being able to feed her from her bottle.

Oh, how fun for this grandma to hold these little cousins on my lap as they begin to get acquainted with each other.

What could be better than this?!?

PJ sunset on the beach

Turns out everybody else on the team had plans for the evening - and we have the place to ourselves. How weird. And how fun!

And that after talking all day to the TWELVE groups of students about what it must have been like to live in a lighthouse. How isolated and remote.

So here we are...

Kinda' fun.

At first all I wanted to do was to sit and relax after a long and exhausting day of work. I didn't want to think about anything. I didn't want to have to figure anything out or solve any dilemmas. I was so tired I barely wanted to eat - and that doesn't happen often. I didn't want to get up and move. I just wanted to get off my feet and do nothing.

I sat gazing out the window. I began marveling at the lonely desolate beauty. At the wonder of it all. How stupendously amazing this is. That we get to live out here in this 15-room house "under the light" as they say in our historical video. And that we even get to have the big old place to ourselves for a few hours. Now 'tis true that we work hard for the privilege. But most of it is fun work - or at least quite interesting.

Here's the deal. I really, really like living where I can hear the waves crashing below our window. And what do you know? Here we are.

Of course, I also love living where I can walk on the beach every day. Unfortunately that part isn't working out so well - partly because the beach is not really walkable here and partly because I have been too busy and too exhausted.

But hey, even as worn out as I am, I can at least go out and sit on a bench for a bit - except that I already put my jammies on. Oh, well; I can go anyway. And so I did.

What a great idea. Wandering on the beach in PJs and enjoying the sunset - just because I can.
 

A big thank you to my photographer hubby
for documenting our time here and our life of adventure.

"Got to" or "get to"?

Are you a "got to" person or a "get to" person?

At a friend's funeral last week, her husband talked about the terms "got to" and "get to" and about how she had taught him that we have a choice about which way to live.

I want to be a "get to" girl. I like to have a sense of wonder. I choose to be grateful for the awesome things that I "get to" experience. At least I hope I do.

Lots of times I focus on the joy of what I get to do or see or hear or have or experience. When I stop to notice the wonderful things in my life, I am astounded by how blessed I am. I have long been grateful for the rich heritage I was born into but then recent years have brought huge changes that I never would have imagined. I marvel about how they came to be. Oh, the wonder of it all.

But then everyday life sets in. I begin to think of my daily chores and responsibilities. Sometimes I hear myself muttering about what I've "got to" do.

I've got to wash the dishes and wipe down the countertop. We live in such a tiny place that I've got to keep things put away because anything left lying around contributes to clutter and chaos and makes me crazy.

I've got to get my 500 words written for today - before the day gets busy or I'll get distracted and never get them done. I've got to compose that idea that I've been thinking about while it is still fresh in my mind.

I've got to get out there and walk my two miles before it gets too hot.

I've got to makes those phone calls and schedule those appointments.

I've got to gather up the dirty laundry and haul it down the street to wherever the laundry is in our current campground.

I've got to deal with that pile of things that I brought from the storage unit - that I think I want to keep but need to find a place to keep them. I've got to tackle more of the bins and boxes that are in storage.

...

I often catch myself thinking about what I've got to do. Maybe I feel burdened by too many things to do. Or maybe I feel scattered and indecisive about which things to focus on today from my ever-growing list of things I've got to get done. Yes, THAT list. The list that keeps increasing in length even while my energy and ambition and enthusiasm keep decreasing.

Sometimes I want to do a certain project but realize that I've "got to" do this other thing first.

Or sometimes my "got to" litany is connected to the consequences of our recent move. Things like having to drive further for hair cuts or dental work than I used to.

...

When I'm in the middle of thinking about all that I've got to do, sometimes I pause to ask myself if that is really true. Do I really have to do that - whatever it is? Or is it actually a choice I can make about how to orient my life? Maybe it's not a "got to" at all; maybe in fact it is something that I "get to" do. Something that I can choose. Or at least something that I "did" choose and am now living it out.

So then I "get to" stop and re-evaluate my choices. There will always be certain things that we've "got to" do as part of something bigger that we might choose.

In the meantime, I think I'll celebrate all of the things that I "get to" do.

I "get to" wash dishes because we have food to eat.

I "get to" keep our things put away and enjoy this cute little place where we "get to" live.

I get to write each morning and even some afternoons. This is a dream come true.

I get to walk two miles each morning. I GET to. Because my legs are strong enough to do that. There was a time when I feared that would not be possible by this age. In fact there WAS a time (age 27, actually) when it was not possible....  And I get to walk in all kinds of beautiful settings. Right now we have a lake that I get to walk around any time I wish.

I get to visit my favorite stylist and hygienist when we are back in Michigan - even though I've "got to" drive an hour or more to get there. Yes, at some point I may switch to someone closer, but then that means I've "got to" search for a new dentist. At this moment the "get to" outweighs the "got to" so that's cool.

And on it goes. Sure, there are things I've "got to" do, but there are also lots and LOTS of things that I "get to" do. I'm pretty happy with the balance.

Moments

Living here has really been rather amazing. I can sit here at my kitchen table and look out over Mobile Bay to the north. I can also go to the south side of the campground and walk the beach along the Gulf of Mexico - which I do pretty much every morning. At this time of year both sunrise and sunset can be viewed from our beach. Wow. Just wow. What a wonder. I have rather gotten used to it - accustomed to the view and to the privilege and to my routine - but I'm very glad that the familiarity has not stolen my sense of wonder.

...

This is our last day. One month we have been here.

I have been only somewhat successful in capturing the experience, but I have indeed experienced it. I have enjoyed the NOW - even as I had hoped. I have lived in the moment. Not every moment, of course. I've wasted moments, but oh, I've savored moments, too. I've celebrated moments.

Some of those moments were small ones - just a little something special here and here. Or maybe not even so special, but maybe just interesting. Intriguing. A tidbit. A moment of noticing something. Of learning. Of discovery.

But oh, there were big moments, too. Grand moments. Transcendent. Moments that spanned several minutes. Moments that moved me to tears. Moments when my face hurt from so much smiling. Perfect moments and not-so-perfect ones. Moments that I simply had to write about. Moments that I simply could not write about. Moments that I dare not lose by trying to capture them.

 

That which cannot be earned

In a recent post, I asked the question "How in the world did we get here?" - which may not really be a question. At least I don't know that I was expecting to find an answer. I don't know that there is an answer - or maybe there are several. Maybe instead of being a question to answer, maybe it is simply a question to ponder. Cause to wonder. Perhaps cause FOR wonder.

It may be fun to speculate a bit, but with a touch of wariness. There are tons of crazy beliefs and philosophies out there about how or why we get blessed, about whether someone "deserves" to be privileged, etc. but most of them are pretty wacky and are probably best taken with a grain of salt. While there may be certain factors at play as to why some people are privileged, there are a couple things that stand out to me.

I tend to believe that certain things are simply beyond our control. That there is nothing we can do to earn our blessings. That so many of the things we enjoy are simply gifts. Gifts of grace. I don't believe that I deserve to be this fortunate nor do I believe that millions deserve to be born into poverty.

There was no way that I could have earned the right to be one of the cancer survivors nor do I deserve the other blessings I have been given. Therefore I have no reason for bragging nor for entitlement.

So when we shake our heads and wonder "How in the world did we get here?" I guess we're not really asking a question. I think we are mostly marveling at it all. Just shaking our heads in wonder and amazement. And appreciation and gratitude.

...

     Continue with the next post...
          ... or see the entire series here.
 

How in the world...?

How did we get from there to here? Sometimes I just shake my head in amazement at the huge changes in our lives in the last few years. What a journey it has been. What an adventure.

Some of the changes are obvious and have been rather dramatic. We have let go of the Christmas tree farm and the house we built and lived in for four decades. The home where we raised our kids and a whole bunch of other kids, too. Somehow we have walked away from that safe, secure, comfortable life and find ourselves out here on the road on a wild and crazy adventure.

Some of the changes have been more subtle or less visible or something, but have still been huge and dramatic in their own way. After six decades of being entrenched in church ministry, we have been catapulted from inside the walls of the institution and have landed somewhere outside of organized religion. What a journey that has been - leaving a life of over-commitment where my identity was wrapped up in my leadership role and now finding the courage to discover who I am as a person. To be willing to ask honest questions and begin to figure out which things really matter (like what did Jesus really say?) and to let go of the man-made stuff of religion. To get free from the legalistic striving for God's approval and the accompanying fear and condemnation and to finally begin to understand grace. ... Oh, what a wonderful thing. So amazing. To be set free. To be healed and restored.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ 

How in the world did we get here? Here we are - out here on the road living the dream. We are portable. We are free to go where we wish. We get to see new places and do some exciting stuff. We get to walk on the beach every day instead of on icy roads. We get to meet people from all over the world. We get to taste different foods. I get to live my dream of being a writer - except for making an income from it. And I get to do all of this with my best friend and favorite person in the world. And we are healthy and happy. What a boatload of blessings! How in the world did we get here?

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ 

At the same time I am painfully aware of friends and loved ones who don't have it so good. There have been too many moments when we were celebrating a momentous occasion even while dear friends were dealing with pain and fear and heartache. That's just life. There will always be good news and bad news intermingled in our lives and the lives of those around us.

It's tricky to celebrate your own good news in the presence of so much bad news going on. It can feel weird being one of the lucky ones when those around us are not so lucky. After dealing with my own cancer diagnosis and treatment and then recurrence and more treatment, I came through as one of the survivors - acutely aware that not everyone does. Friends were on a similar calendar to ours. We (their son and I) were diagnosed with cancer about the same time. We went through chemo during the same months. We were both bald that summer. But then I survived and he didn't - so it was weird to see his parents. I didn't know what to say to them. How to act. It felt like my presence could seem like a slap in the face - that here I was, but he was gone.

Similar feelings surface when we head out on an adventure at the very moment that someone else is dealing with sickness or death or heartache. We know that they don't want us to hide our excitement or our plans from them, but at the same time we don't want to flaunt our good fortune in the midst of their grief and pain.

In our spiritual journey as well, when we speak about how grateful we are for the circumstances that set us free and when we rejoice about grace and about being able to live without fear of condemnation, we are aware of those who have been deeply wounded or are still stuck inside the legalistic system. I certainly don't want to make anyone feel worse about their own bondage - except as it might help them encounter grace.

 So I want to be careful. To be considerate and compassionate. To be sensitive to the pain of others. At the same time, there is much to celebrate in our lives and I know that it doesn't do anybody any good for us to refuse to enjoy our blessings.

And so we do enjoy the good things that have come our way. And we do celebrate. And we do talk about them and write about them rather than trying to hide them or keep them to ourselves.

But still we shake our heads and wonder...

How in the world did we get here?

Why do we get to be among the lucky ones?

Why have we been given good news while others receive bad news?

 

...
 
    Continue with the next post... 
           ...or see the entire series here.  

 

The BIG day!

Today is the day!!!

The closing on our property sale. Woohoo!!!
How surreal.
I have never done anything quite like this before and didn't know what thoughts and feelings to expect. It almost seems like there ought to be bells and whistles - or tears of nostalgia - or maybe doubts and fears and second-guessing. Or something.

I'm not sure what I feel. Oh, yah, there have been moments of most of those emotions. Certainly moments of nostalgia. There have been triggers here and there that set off the tears or fears or sadness. But mostly there is a sense of wonder - that this is really happening. Finally. We have worked hard for this. We have made difficult decisions and huge sacrifices. We have prepared as wisely as we know how.

But even beyond our own efforts, we have been blessed by so many good parts to the process. Things that we never could have orchestrated even if we had known enough to think of them.

The timing, for example. Oh, my, the timing. Sometimes, the timing felt interminable. Other times, for a brief moment here and there, things seemed to fly faster than we could possibly keep up. But the timing has indeed been a blessing. We did not have to deal with it all on a sudden or rushed timetable. Four years was a good length of time for me/us to process the joys and the sorrows of such a huge move - even as we process the piles and piles of STUFF. Yah, we probably could have moved a lot faster in that department, and hubby often wished we had, but hey, we have continued to work on it. Piece by piece. Processing, sorting, pitching, selling, storing.

And here we are.

The RV is stocked and almost ready to go. A few select pieces of furniture are nestled into the little "apartment" in our daughter's basement which serves as a landing spot between our travels. Many cherished items have been sold and hauled away. The rest of our possessions are being carefully packed and stacked in a 10' x 20' storage unit for the next few months or years - while we do a bit more wandering and exploring.

The timing has been good in allowing us opportunity to try some things out. For example, a year ago we had no clue if we would be able to survive in a 28-foot RV. Now we do. After living in it for seven months, we have learned that yes, we love it and can thrive in that small space.

So yah, the timing has been good - even though there were moments when we wondered if this was EVER going to happen.

Besides the timing, there are other blessings as well.
Probably I'll write about those, too.
Sometime.

Happy birthday, tranquil mama

How can this young woman be mine? How could I have raised someone who would surpass me in so many ways? When you were little, I was proud of all the ways you were like me - and I still am. But somewhere in those early years you also began to develop characteristics that often elude me. Things like grace and kindness and respect toward other people. I guess you got those from your dad. Things that I have begun to learn from you. Like patience and diligence. And then there's your servant heart. And your calm demeanor and ability to bring peace to situations that are not naturally peaceful. I often remind myself of your words "Tranquila, Mama." I find myself grateful that you found a calm and gentle way to say it without using that other phrase - "Geez, Mom; take a chill pill!" - that lots of kids tell their moms. When I remember your tranquil reminder, I consciously take a deep breath and begin to ask myself what is causing me to feel stress and what I can do about it. I think that I am learning to be gentler and kinder and more patient with myself - and hopefully with others as well.

 

What fun to celebrate you by hanging with your kids. Watching them and listening to them makes me appreciate you even more. In particular, I love it when your daughter points out things in nature before I can even spot them - whether a tiny white butterfly or a barely perceptible dragonfly or the beautiful clouds today or the bright colored leaves on the ground or the tree with barely any leaves left on it. It always surprises me to hear explanations about the beauty of nature coming from your tiny three-year old. I can just imagine you taking the time to explain to her how to notice and count the gossamer wings or which bees "won't hurt you" while you also teach healthy habits by explaining that some things can make you sick and how to prevent that. Once again I learn from you and her - yes, even to shore up my own healthy habits and especially to refresh my sense of wonder.

But it is not just your kids that make you look good. Your hubby's references to you in his sermons... High praise indeed. He says he didn't know the word "nag" because you never do it! Whoa! I sure can't take credit for that one! But I can celebrate it and learn from it.

Actually there are several things that you DON'T do that most people do. Things like having to express your opinion on everything that comes into view. Things like venting your frustration in inappropriate places or ways. Things like putting people down. Things like judging those who are different from you. I can learn much from your example - by observing the things you don't do.

Yep, I celebrate you today. I am so glad that you were born and that it has been my privilege to be your momma. Happy birthday, dear girl.

What a good thing wonder is

Wisdom begins in wonder.

~Socrates

Melissa Gilbert and me: on beauty and wonder

Maybe I think of Melissa Gilbert as one of my girls. And maybe that's silly. But she was there in our home for several years - in her role as Laura on "Little House on the Prairie." You could say that our girls grew up with the Ingalls girls. I have such fond memories of them all hanging out together in our family room pretty much every day after school.

...

One of the things I love about the internet is the opportunity to connect with old friends and in my case, connecting with my daughters' friends as well. Because they were special to my girls, many of them became special to me as well.

So while we never really knew Melissa Gilbert, I still find myself paying attention when I hear news about her. Just recently I discovered that she has moved to Howell, Michigan, one of the towns that we have been talking about as a possible place to re-settle. How cool is that!

I kinda' relish the irony that she moved to Michigan after living in southern California her entire life just before I moved to southern California after living in Michigan my entire life. Of course, there are differences in our stories. For example, she is settling into a big old Victorian house and planning to stay there awhile, but I am in a little house on wheels because this is just a temporary camping site for me.

However, it seems that we have had similar reactions to our new surroundings. I have been enthralled by the beauty of my new area and feel almost giddy with excitement to have giant jade plants just outside my door and to be surrounded by mountains and palm trees and strawberry fields and huge orange groves and avocado plantations and to live so near the ocean. And where I can hear the whistle of the neat old historic train from where I sit and write. I wonder sometimes whether the locals ever tire of it and think it would be so sad if they do.

On her blog Melissa Gilbert shares similar thoughts and questions after an experience she had while adjusting to life in small-town Michigan.
Then something amazing happened! I was driving on I96 West, and I saw the most beautiful sight I've seen in a long time. The sun was rising behind me in a big orange ball and the land all around me was waking up. Before me there were stand of trees...wooded areas surrounding large open meadows and fields of crops. The sky above was a pale blue, dotted with perfectly painted white clouds. The clouds looked like someone had pulled cotton balls apart and swiped them across the sky. Over every meadow or field there was a mist...like an Irish mist...just hanging there.
...
I was thunderstruck and immediately began to weep and I thought, "Does everyone on this highway see how beautiful this is? Do the Michiganders know what beauty there is to be found here? Or do they just drive their commute, not seeing any of it?"

I promised myself that I would never tire of the beauty that can be found here. Just as I've promised myself over and over that I'm not going to lose my excitement when I see fireflies in my gardenI hear you, Melissa. I appreciate your reminder about the beauty of Michigan. You are right that it is amazing. You are also right to realize how easy it is to get used to the familiar.

...

I brought along a copy of Travels with Charley on this cross-country adventure of ours - and have just been re-reading it. Like Gilbert, author John Steinbeck lived in California when he was young and also shares some thoughts on this topic of beauty and wonder.
When we saw colored pictures of a Vermont autumn forest it was another fairy thing and we frankly didn't believe it. In school we memorized "Snowbound" and little poems about Old Jack Frost and his paintbrush, but the only thing Jack Frost did for us was put a thin skin of ice on the watering trough, and that rarely. To find not only that this bedlam of color was true but that the pictures were pale and inaccurate translations, was to me startling. I can't even imagine the forest colors when I am not seeing them. I wondered whether constant association could cause inattention, and asked a native New Hampshire woman about it. She said the autumn never failed to amaze her; to elate. "It is a glory," she said, "and can't be remembered, so that it always comes as a surprise." I love that. What a way to say it.

But now it is winter in Michigan. I mean, it is REALLY winter this year. I empathize with friends and family who have been trudging through the deep snow and sliding around on the ice. I admit that I almost feel like we have cheated by not being there for this brutal record-breakingly harsh winter.

What a winter for a California girl like Melissa Gilbert to be adjusting to Michigan! I just have to wonder if it reminds her of when she was growing up in Walnut Grove - when the Minnesota snow was up to the loft window of their "little house" on the prairie. Wait! Oh, yah, that was just pretend, wasn't it? Just a movie set. Okay, what I meant was... I wonder if it reminds her of when she was little and they were filming... Whatever. In another blog post, she does comment on her first Michigan winter.

Here's the thing about this winter. At least from where I...um...sit...
It's the worst winter the US has seen in 20 years.. BUT...I'm loving it because I know it will make spring that much more glorious. Then we'll have summer and then fall, which is breathtaking here and winter again. It fascinates and exhilarates me.

You see, I come from LA. Basically the weather is the same....ALL THE FREAKIN" TIME! It almost never changes. It's pretty but it gets boring. It really does. And the smog Oh my lord! If everyone in LA could spend one year living here, breathing this clean perfect air, they'd know the difference. ...

Perspective. Familiarity. Change.

Seasons. Beauty. Amazement. Awe.

Wonder.

Ah, wonder.

Values for 2013

June is the middle of the year - not a bad time to evaluate what a year is about.  Normally I shy away from New Year resolutions - because I don't have a good success rate with them - or with most goals in general.  Near the beginning of this year, I heard someone* talking about choosing a value for the year rather than setting goals.  I liked the idea a lot, but I couldn't pick just one.  Yah, I've never been good at narrowing my focus, which just might maybe relate to my failure at finishing goals.

But I did come up with a little list of things that I wanted to value for 2013 - and I got especially geeked when they lined themselves up rather alliteratively.

I value these things for 2013:

• Writing
• Wellness
• Wideness
• Wisdom
• Wonder
  
  

Obviously these are not the only things that I value, but these are the ones that I selected to focus on, to work on or improve or increase.  I chose not to restrict nor define them, but simply to list one word for each and to "keep them in mind" through the year - whatever that would mean.  Each item on my list has special significance for me - increasingly so as the year goes along.

Writing is the one that is most about activity and accomplishment, but it is also about my identity.  I am beginning to think of myself as a writer and to think of writing as my work.  No longer do I feel guilty for spending too much time doing the things that make up my writing work.  To the contrary, I choose to value my writing work and to make time for it in my calendar.

Wellness speaks to me of awareness and attitude and action.  Rather than thinking about what I should or shouldn't do, I want to value wellness in my choices about activity, food, rest, stress, and healthy boundaries and in the priorities in my schedule.

Wideness takes me back to an old hymn from my childhood: There's a wideness in God's mercy like the wideness of the sea.  I want my mercy and compassion and kindness to be broad rather than tight and narrow and judgmental and restrictive and I hope that my world keeps growing ever wider with people who are different from me.

Wisdom is something that I have long wished to attain and have tried to pursue.  I really, really want to be wise in my own personal decisions as well as in my treatment of other people.

Wonder beckons me in recent years.  I want to thrill in the wonder and awe of this life and this world.  I also choose to value the exercise of wondering about things that I struggle to understand - things from how the solar system works to how a soft answer can possibly turn away wrath.  Hence the name of my blog.

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So how am I doing?
Since my purpose was simply to value these things, it seems that I have been rather successful.  I keep the list where I can see it regularly and I often think about these things when making choices about what to think or how to spend my time.  I can say for sure that my appreciation for these items continues to increase - which might be an indication of success.  In fact, I find myself thinking that they may be a good list to keep for life.

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Some people write a personal mission statement. I have often wanted to have one, but have not yet succeeded in getting it together.  Other people choose a life verse or some kind of motto they live by.  And yes, lots of people set goals and actually complete them.

Please leave a comment about what works for you.
What do you value?

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* Credit for this idea goes to James Prescott, a fellow student in the Tribe Writers' course I've been taking.  When I wrote the above post, I could not remember where I had heard the idea, but came across it in some notes today.  Read his post about it here.  Thanks, James; the idea has been valuable to me.

The Dee Dah Day

I love this little story excerpted from The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg

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Sometime ago I was giving a bath to our three children. I had a custom of bathing them together, more to save time than anything else. I knew that eventually I would have to stop the group bathing, but for the time being it seemed efficient.

Johnny was still in the tub, Laura was out and safely in her pajamas, and I was trying to get Mallory dried off. Mallory was out of the water, but was doing what has come to be known in our family as the Dee Dah Day dance. This consists of her running around and around in circles, singing over and over again, "Dee day day, dee day day." It is a relatively simple dance expressing great joy. When she is too happy to hold it in any longer, when words are inadequate to give voice to her euphoria, she has to dance to release her joy. So she does the Dee Dah Day.

On this particular occasion, I was irritated. "Mallory, hurry!" I prodded. So she did - she began running in circles faster and faster and chanting "dee dah day" more rapidly. "No, Mallory, that's not what I mean! Stop with the dee dah day stuff, and get over here so I can dry you off. Hurry!"

Then she asked a profound question: "Why?"

I had no answer. I had nowhere to go, nothing to do, no meetings to attend, no sermons to write. I was just so used to hurrying, so preoccupied with my own little agenda, so trapped in this rut of moving from one task to another, that here was life, here was joy, here was an invitation to the dance right in front of me - and I was missing it.

So I got up, and Mallory and I did the Dee Dah Day dance together. She said I was pretty good at it, too, for a man my age.

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So why am I borrowing this story today?
Well, because I remembered something.
Something about a Dee Dah Day.
Something hazy, in the fog...
So I searched for the story - and found it!
We read it together.
We giggled and celebrated - and yes, we danced.

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How about you?
How do you celebrate life and joy?
Is it time for a Dee Dah Day at your house?

Amazing Day Number 31: Amazing indeed

The last amazing day
No, wait; I hope that’s not true.
Try that again.

The last of the amazing days...
Of the 31-day challenge, that is...

When I decided to take this challenge, I guessed that I may not have the energy or the creativity to “make amazing things happen” but I hoped that I would begin to notice the amazing things around me. Sure enough; that was true. I didn’t make many amazing things happen; I simply learned to focus on some of the amazing and wonder-filled happenings right there in front of my eyes. Most of the amazing things that I’ve written about were not to my credit; I was not the catalyst. I was simply the observer, the celebrant.

By the way, a few of the things that I noticed were not what I would call “amazing good” – as in warm, fuzzy, wonderful things, but some of them were “shake-my-head-in-amazement" sad or disappointing or scary. They were things that made me wonder how people (including me) could be so thoughtless or selfish.

On the other hand there were also a few things that made me shake my head in wonder and astonishment about how unfathomable certain things on this planet are to my relatively small mind. They made me realize that I do not indeed “know it all” nor do I have things under control and, for the most part, that’s okay. I do not need to know it all – which is a great relief really – nor do I need to control everything and everyone. Well, except for the things that I should control – which I can/should/will keep trying to whip into shape, but which are quite few in number. Life is much easier and more pleasant for me and those around me when I stop trying to control things that are none of my business. Perhaps this 31-day practice of noticing the amazing stuff will be one more step in letting go of that inappropriate control. Now that would be amazing!

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Disclaimer: To my credit, this is not my first time to realize that I am not the God of the universe nor is it my first attempt to relinquish control of things that are not in my department, but hopefully it has been a good reminder. And as for those things that ARE my responsibility, things that I SHOULD get under control, things that I AM in charge of… this has also been an ongoing process. So I choose to celebrate those areas where I am making good strides toward getting those things in order. And I commit to continue that noble effort.

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Yes, these have been amazing days, days filled with amazing things. If I had not taken this challenge, I have to wonder how many of them I would have missed.

What a grand way this is to live, to notice and celebrate the amazing-ness all around me!
What if I were able to continue noticing and celebrating?
What if my eyes would be wide open in wonder more of the time?
That would indeed be amazing.