"Got to" or "get to"?

Are you a "got to" person or a "get to" person?

At a friend's funeral last week, her husband talked about the terms "got to" and "get to" and about how she had taught him that we have a choice about which way to live.

I want to be a "get to" girl. I like to have a sense of wonder. I choose to be grateful for the awesome things that I "get to" experience. At least I hope I do.

Lots of times I focus on the joy of what I get to do or see or hear or have or experience. When I stop to notice the wonderful things in my life, I am astounded by how blessed I am. I have long been grateful for the rich heritage I was born into but then recent years have brought huge changes that I never would have imagined. I marvel about how they came to be. Oh, the wonder of it all.

But then everyday life sets in. I begin to think of my daily chores and responsibilities. Sometimes I hear myself muttering about what I've "got to" do.

I've got to wash the dishes and wipe down the countertop. We live in such a tiny place that I've got to keep things put away because anything left lying around contributes to clutter and chaos and makes me crazy.

I've got to get my 500 words written for today - before the day gets busy or I'll get distracted and never get them done. I've got to compose that idea that I've been thinking about while it is still fresh in my mind.

I've got to get out there and walk my two miles before it gets too hot.

I've got to makes those phone calls and schedule those appointments.

I've got to gather up the dirty laundry and haul it down the street to wherever the laundry is in our current campground.

I've got to deal with that pile of things that I brought from the storage unit - that I think I want to keep but need to find a place to keep them. I've got to tackle more of the bins and boxes that are in storage.

...

I often catch myself thinking about what I've got to do. Maybe I feel burdened by too many things to do. Or maybe I feel scattered and indecisive about which things to focus on today from my ever-growing list of things I've got to get done. Yes, THAT list. The list that keeps increasing in length even while my energy and ambition and enthusiasm keep decreasing.

Sometimes I want to do a certain project but realize that I've "got to" do this other thing first.

Or sometimes my "got to" litany is connected to the consequences of our recent move. Things like having to drive further for hair cuts or dental work than I used to.

...

When I'm in the middle of thinking about all that I've got to do, sometimes I pause to ask myself if that is really true. Do I really have to do that - whatever it is? Or is it actually a choice I can make about how to orient my life? Maybe it's not a "got to" at all; maybe in fact it is something that I "get to" do. Something that I can choose. Or at least something that I "did" choose and am now living it out.

So then I "get to" stop and re-evaluate my choices. There will always be certain things that we've "got to" do as part of something bigger that we might choose.

In the meantime, I think I'll celebrate all of the things that I "get to" do.

I "get to" wash dishes because we have food to eat.

I "get to" keep our things put away and enjoy this cute little place where we "get to" live.

I get to write each morning and even some afternoons. This is a dream come true.

I get to walk two miles each morning. I GET to. Because my legs are strong enough to do that. There was a time when I feared that would not be possible by this age. In fact there WAS a time (age 27, actually) when it was not possible....  And I get to walk in all kinds of beautiful settings. Right now we have a lake that I get to walk around any time I wish.

I get to visit my favorite stylist and hygienist when we are back in Michigan - even though I've "got to" drive an hour or more to get there. Yes, at some point I may switch to someone closer, but then that means I've "got to" search for a new dentist. At this moment the "get to" outweighs the "got to" so that's cool.

And on it goes. Sure, there are things I've "got to" do, but there are also lots and LOTS of things that I "get to" do. I'm pretty happy with the balance.