The Crim Festival of Races

Impressive

Inspiring

Some day I might volunteer

I keep saying that

Not this year

But I will walk down there and see all the bustle.

Downtown

Start line

Those hand cyclers are FAST!

Then the 30 and 40-year runners!

40+ years of running this race!!!

Now THAT’s impressive

Is that Bobby Crim?

Sure enough

THE Bobby Crim, the founder of this great race

And another guy walking with a cane

Then the regular runners

Wave after wave of runners

I take a short-cut to the 2-mile point in my neighborhood

Loud music welcomes the runners to Carriage Town. 

A big guy in a fluorescent green Marine shirt doesn’t need a mic as he cheers and slaps runners’ hands.

Somebody shoots photos of specific groups of runners in matching shirts.

Police officers manage the intersection and runners thank them for being there.

I cheer for the runners, too.

“Good job!

“Doing great!

“Looking good!

“You got this!”

Runners start thanking ME for being there!

Whoa.

What’s this?

Why am I getting choked up?

Is it the parade syndrome?

(Yah, I was that little kid who cried at parades.)

Come on now.

Pull myself together.

Cheer and clap.

This matters, doesn't it?

This is important

Sorta’ like in real life

I want to be an encourager

A motivator

To cheer people on to do their best

And now some of the first walkers...

By now the photographers and hand slappers are gone.

The loud Marine has headed off in another direction.

Now it’s just me and my single voice

Now it’s quiet when I’m not cheering

Hey; people’s names are on their race bibs.

I can cheer for them by name!

Well, that’s fun.

So much appreciation

“Thank you for being here.”

So many expressions of gratitude

I realized one lady was signing “thank you” to me and then veered off course and came straight toward me to give me a hug!  Dang; I wish I knew more sign language! But at least I understood her “thank you.” And she understood my encouragement.

Such emotion

Such solidarity

Such humanity and good will

I feel a little silly…

But…  This is what I want to do

To cheer people on

To call them by name

To notice their efforts

To encourage them to be their best

I can choose my focus

Sad, discouraged, maybe even scared

What is happening?

Harsh words… 

Mean words 

Disrespect 

Friends sounding like enemies

Brings me down

Gotta’ find a different focus

...

Enter Maya Angelou.

I’ve had so many rainbows in my clouds.

I had a lot of clouds… 

but I have had so many rainbows.

When I step up on stage…

… or teach a class

… or produce a movie...

I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me with me…

I say “Come with me…  I need ya’ ”

So I don’t ever feel that I have no help.

…

And the thing to do…  

... is to prepare yourself so that you can be a rainbow…

Be a blessing to somebody.

That’s what I think.

…

Thank you, dear lady, for a fresh focus.

The Ta-Da! Month

I already wrote about the fact that I let myself get too busy in May.

I made commitments I shouldn't have.

Or at least probably wouldn’t have...

... if I had known the unexpected things that would pop up.  

But we never know, do we?

That's why we need to plan margins in our schedule.

That's what I failed to do for May.

Forget the margins.

Margin-less May

So...

What about June?

Will I do better?

What will I do differently?

I decided to try something quite different in June.  I remembered my experiences with a Ta-Da! list and thought it could be fun to make a month-long one.  

It felt like the perfect kind of “opposite” from what May had been like.

My to-do lists had been impossibly long.

It was definitely time for something different.

Sure I still had to make some lists of obligations and things that I dare not forget, but I decided to shift my focus whenever possible. I would watch for chances to do things that I could be excited about.  Things about which I could say Ta-Da! at least to myself. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a whole month’s worth of Ta-Da! items?

Each evening I would add to the list.  It could be only one thing each day - but lots of days had more than one item.

What kinds of things?

All kinds of fun things - and even a few not so fun

Like that phone call I’ve been needing to make - check!  Ta-Da!

The appointment I’ve been putting off - Got that scheduled! Ta-Da!

The left-over project from May that was ALMOST done but not quite…  Got ‘er done! Ta-Da!

I sorted through photo files that have been languishing.  Ta-Da!!!

I rode my bike - NINE miles one day - and lots of shorter rides.  Ta-Da!

I sat out in the sun for my 15-minute dose of Vitamin D.  Yay!

I thought about an old friend. I should get in touch with her sometime.  But wait!  Let’s do it now.  So I did.  Ta-da!

Did my usual morning routines in record time.  Ta-Da!

Had a lovely visit with a new neighbor.  Ta-Da!

Walked downtown with hubby on his business errand.  Yay!

Did some porch-sitting.  Cha-ching!

Worked ahead (in advance!) to prepare my report for the upcoming board meeting.  Smart move!

Finished the HUGE project I’ve been working on for months.  Ta-Da!

So far I’m liking this experiment.

I’m thinking ahead to other Ta-Da! lists.

Sometimes they nudge me to stretch myself at bit toward becoming all that I can be.

Sometimes I even surprise myself.

Ta-Da!

Who were my champions?

 I just discovered these lines that I wrote awhile ago after having been asked about the things or the people who may have discouraged or restricted me through the years.  I was also asked about the people who were champions of my self-worth.  People who encouraged my creativity and my leadership skills.  I chose to focus mostly on the second question.

It wasn't hard to think of several who had discouraged me or restricted my options.  This was a good opportunity to remind myself that I no longer need to pay attention to those voices.

More importantly, as I look back over the years of my various ministries and think about those questions, others come to my mind who have been my champions.  It is too late to thank some of them but I want to express how very grateful I am for their support.

Topping that list are my dear partner Bob, my big brother Dave, my other brother Jerry, my father-in-law, and my long-time pastor Gary.

When others were saying that women couldn't be leaders, these guys were sending me articles about women who were. They were inviting me to speak from their pulpits.  They encouraged me to follow my calling and to use my voice and my words to influence people. They took me seriously when others chose to ignore or discourage my contribution.

Many women have been restricted and deeply discouraged if not downright prohibited from serving in leadership.  I have had a taste of that restriction and rejection - which makes me all the more thankful for those who have stood with me in support as I explored ways to fulfill my God-given potential.

I am so grateful for each of you and your partnership in the good work.

Amazing Day #22: Positivity - Part Two

Sometimes I "worry" about the things I post.

I worry that they may seem braggy. 

I worry that I might be making my life sound way more exciting than it is... 

But then isn't that what we all do on social media?!?

We're supposed to do that; right?

But I do want to be honest.

I do want to give an accurate picture.

After all, not everything is fine and dandy.

It's not all beauty and wonder.

I don't want to be always gushing about how AMAZING everything is.

There is loss.

There is sadness.

There is fear.

There is yuckiness.

There is hard stuff.  

All kinds of hard stuff.

I guess I could write about those.

But wait; I DO write about those some of the time.

I do my share of grumping and moaning and groaning.

And downright complaining.

I don't think I'm in denial - at least not most of the time.

I do take time to mourn my losses. 

I want to grieve with those who grieve.

I want to give others time to mourn their losses. 

I don't expect others to be happy all the time.

 

Yes, I will face the not-fun stuff and deal with it when I need to.

And yes, I will write about that stuff.

However I don't want them to be my focus.

...

Here's the thing.

It is easy for me to be negative.

To get stressed out.

To feel overwhelmed.

To be frightened.

To panic about worst case scenarios.

Yep, worrying comes quite naturally for me.

Irritability and grumpiness often seem to be my default settings.

It takes effort and intentionality for me to focus on the good stuff.

The first step in that process is to find it.  

To look for it.

To notice it.

Then I guess the second step is to celebrate it.

To appreciate it.

I discovered that I need to practice.

To start searching and noticing and celebrating.

One year I decided to celebrate Thanks-giving EVERY DAY during November rather than just on one day.  I decided to look for one thing that I was thankful for every day that month.  And then one year I decided to continue my Thanks-giving by setting aside every Thursday as a day to be thankful - for something.  

Then there was the year that I accepted the 31 Amazing Days challenge - seeing if I could find something amazing every day during the month of October and to write about it.  Or maybe I could make something amazing happen!  And here I am doing that challenge again this year.

These are things I choose to do in order to build a habit of gratitude.  

To be more positive.

To focus on the good stuff more than the bad - or at least more often than if I didn't try.

To lift my eyes from the bad news and look for good news.

...

In summary...
Some people are naturally positive.
Some work at being positive. 
Then again some people are naturally positive, but they also work at being positive.

Yes, positivity and negativity are often personality traits.  

But...  

I believe that there is something we can do about our natural tendencies.  

I think that we can build good habits.  

I think that we can practice noticing good stuff.  

I think that we can choose our focus - at least more often than we might realize

Will it be easy?  

Will we always succeed?  

Nope.  But we can keep practicing.

Keep searching for the good stuff.

Start noticing and celebrating.

...

Cultivate gratitude.

That's what I want to do.

That makes sense to this farm girl.

Clouds and rainbows and perspective

I think about perspective a lot.

Good days and bad

Thorns and roses

Bad news and good news

Sun and rain

Clouds and rainbows

I seem to realize that I need to remind myself to keep perspective when things start to feel one-sided.

So that’s what I do. 

I remind myself that roses come with thorns.

(Or that thorns come with roses!)

That there will be good days and bad.

That life is fleeting and I can choose to cherish the moments.

That we will hear both good and bad news

And now I am also reminded of yet another perspective by one of the most inspiring people in the world, Maya Angelou. She reminds me that there will be clouds but there are also rainbows.  Her words challenge me once again:

  

“The thing to do, it seems to me, is to prepare yourself so that you can be a rainbow in somebody else’s cloud.  Somebody that may not look like you…  or speak your language…  but be a blessing to somebody.  That’s what I think.”

...

This.
This is what I want to be about.
Yep.

Where's the magic? I wonder

I’ve been wondering about something.

And I’ve been noticing some things.

I’ve noticed that sometimes we get all passionate and loud about things at election time. We vehemently proclaim that this one particular thing is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing.  That nothing else matters as much as this particular thing.

We get so passionate about THAT THING that we will go against our own better judgment on other very important things.

I think I get that - although it seems to me to be an unfortunate way to live.

I wonder if we are missing something.

I wonder if we are being unwise and untrue to our own conviction when we use this "all or nothing" approach.  When we put all of our hope and faith in one person or one party.

...

Yep, I wonder about things.

That's a big part of what this blog is about.

You are welcome to listen in to some of my wonderings, but I should probably warn you that this one might get a little long.  Because yah, I seem to be wondering about complicated things lately. Things that don't have simple solutions.

I wonder for example about those of us who are pro-life. We celebrate the sanctity of human life and we might say that this is THE most important issue - so important that we even consider putting someone in office that otherwise we really do NOT want. Someone that we would be ashamed to tell our grandkids we voted for.

I wonder about other examples - like Black Lives Matter. I could wonder if this is THE MOST IMPORTANT issue - and can understand that it IS for many people. I can even understand how someone could be so passionate about this that they can barely think about anything else.

Or maybe my issue is the refugee dilemma.  Maybe we believe that welcoming refugees needs to be a top priority. Maybe we believe that it is foundational to who America is. Or maybe we believe that we have a Biblical mandate to welcome the alien and refugee.

...

I get it. 

I get that we can become pretty passionate about the issues that we think are the most important ones.  And I think that’s a good thing.

But the thing I wonder about is how we can get so passionate and so loud about our most important issue at one time of the year - and yet at other times of the year we don’t seem to be doing anything about that issue.  

Do we think that the ballot box is magic? 

Do we think it is the only place to connect with that “thing” - and to pour out our passion? 

Are we maybe even a little bit happy to “forget” about that passion and tension the rest of the year?

But then there’s something else I wonder about.  

What about the fact that we sometimes collectively elect “the right person” that is supposed to fix this thing - but then it doesn’t get fixed? What happened to the magic?

By the way, I’m preaching to myself here.  I’ve been around this election cycle a few times. Well, and I’ve lived similar cycles in my own life. My own personal priorities. I can generate passion and lots of noise and determination for a season - only to realize months later that I’ve lost the passion or have forgotten to follow-through - or at least that the magic didn’t happen.  

...

Maybe I mostly wonder if there is anything that we can do about it all.

Are there other ways to “fix the problem” beyond that one moment? 

Other avenues besides (and alongside) the voting booth?

...

Okay; let's take these examples one at a time...

I remember a long, long time ago when I was a loud pro-lifer and was confronted by a couple different people who quietly challenged me and the harshness of my words. That was probably when I began to wonder if there were other ways to make a difference.  Maybe even better ways.

Back in those days, our wonderings led us to challenge ourselves. To do some research. To take some risks. To fill our house with kids who needed a family.  

But now at this moment I wonder again. I wonder what else I can do to value the sanctity of human life. I’m not up to taking in any more foster kids, but maybe I can find ways to reach out to the single moms in our building.  I can offer words of encouragement to the frazzled mom with a bunch of kids in Walmart rather than express my silent impatience with her or them.

What about you? If you consider yourself pro-life, what can you do besides that one moment in the voting booth?  Because here’s the thing.  If we find a whole bunch of other things (or even one or two!) that we can do to protect human life…  AND if we actually DO them… Well, do you know what? We can do those “other” things NO MATTER who gets elected. And maybe... Probably... that's where the magic comes.

…

Or what about my other examples?

Maybe we passionately believe that black lives matter.  

I wonder what we can do about that.

I DO believe that black lives matter and my heart is crushed about the fear and the agony and pain facing black mommas across the country. Well, and not just black mommas, but also white mommas with black sons.  I am saddened about the hopelessness that so many black teenagers face and I wish that I could make things better.  I know that so many things don’t work, and I can’t help but wonder what WILL work. 

More specifically, I wish I knew something that I can do personally. After living in white farm country all my life, I now live where I actually see black faces in my neighborhood and at the store, but still I wonder.  I often feel clueless.  As I’m out for my walk, I watch for opportunities to bump into my neighbors and wish I could find ways to reach out to them. Sometimes I “rehearse” kind things that maybe I can say. Yah, maybe I’m silly, and I sure feel like I'm not doing much, but I want to make a difference. To affirm value.

What about you?

Do you live in circumstances where you can make a difference for black lives? 

Have you found ways to reach out and lift someone from discouragement or fear?

Maybe we can teach each other. 

I wonder.

…

And what about those refugees?

When we see the bruised and bloody faces on TV, it can be so overwhelming.

What in the world can we do?

How can we help?

When I feel like I can’t make a dent in this horrific mess, I sometimes have to remind myself that maybe I can make a difference to one. And maybe to another. 

Maybe I can speak a kind word to the girl wearing the beautiful hijab at the Farmers’ Market.

Maybe I can offer a chair or a smile.

When I read about ex-pat families who are driven out of their homes because of the relentless bullying and even violence, I wonder what in the world I can do. 

And so I continue to think and ponder and wonder.

I can watch for faces and listen for accents that are different than mine and try to offer human kindness.

I remember what it feels like to be the ex-pat.

That feeling of being a spectacle. All. The. Time.

An outsider.

May I never forget.

I want to do what I can to welcome those in exile.

But I make mistakes.

Goofs. Big ones

Faux pas

But hopefully I do more to make people feel welcome and affirmed and valued than I do to make them feel like outsiders.  Hopefully.

Certainly one moment in a voting booth is not going to be magic.

Maybe the only way to make the magic happen is to do it in real time.

In real life.

Maybe we can find one REAL thing we can actually DO to make a difference in the area that we think is so important. 

To make the world a better place for one of these human lives that we are passionate about.

To be a real-life super-hero...

…

Remember that I’m mostly talking to myself here.

Wondering. Pondering.
But maybe you wonder, too.
Maybe you can help me think of things that I/we can actually do.

When I hear myself saying that I am passionate about “this” or "that"…

When I notice myself getting worked up about whether my candidate will win…

When I begin to tune out heart-breaking news stories because I feel overwhelmed…

I wonder…

I wonder what I can do. Besides the voting booth.

I wonder who I can help.

I wonder how I can at least promote civil discussion.

I wonder if I can be a catalyst to find common ground so that we can work together.

We might say it is the least we can do, but I wonder if maybe it is the best thing.

The best place to start.

Because I probably can’t do much by myself.

Maybe you feel like you can’t make a difference.

But what if we keep talking and listening?

What if we work together?

Maybe that’s where the magic is.

I wonder…

Accountability - the helpful kind

Sometimes I need accountability.

The good kind.

The supportive kind.

The kind that actually helps me reach my goals.

The kind that encourages me to be a better person.

I desperately need that kind of encouragement.

I have known I need it for a long time; therefore I have often sought accountability.

“Only the wise seek accountability.”

(Somebody said that once.)

But not every version of accountability is helpful.
Some accountability settings are downright harmful.

Toxic.

Damaging.

I do NOT need that kind. 

• There is the kind that you can lie your way out of.  I mean, come on; how honest are you going to be with the person who is supposed to keep you on the straight and narrow? 
• There is the kind that easily devolves into ineffective nagging. Example: one spouse holding the other accountable in their struggle with over-eating - or cheating or some other bad habit.
• There is the kind that encourages you to be honest and then punishes you when you are.
• There is the kind that assumes that some magic formula will solve every problem.
• There is the kind that just lets you slide with no real follow-through from either side.

Nope, I don’t need any of those.

They are not healthy and they are not helpful.

But I do need the kind where my connection becomes a motivator and where it results in actual growth or improvement.

• I need the kind where I receive encouragement. 
• Where I find a listening ear. 
• Where someone offers real solutions.
• Where people care enough to offer a pat on the back or a kick in the pants.
• I need a place where I am encouraged to be honest - with my friends and with myself. 
• And a place where my honesty doesn’t mean that I will be abandoned.

…

I have been fortunate enough to find that kind of helpful support in a few places.

Like my on-line writers’ group.

Like the little chat room of like-minded strugglers.

Like a certain friend who sees the good in me even when I can’t. 

Like another friend who always seems to be able to offer fresh perspective.

Like the dear friend who tells me not to be afraid.
Like the one who reminds me to rise above the self-pity.

When I go to these people to report success, they rejoice with me.

When I get stuck, someone may offer an idea that gets me un-stuck.

When I’m discouraged, I hear words that lift and inspire me.

And here’s a bonus!

I’ve discovered a benefit that has almost surprised me.

This morning, for example, I was about to head to my writing group page or my un-cluttering group to whine about how discouraged I was about my latest failure. Surely I would find sympathy - or maybe something helpful.

But…

Instead I stopped myself and decided it would be cooler to go and pick off one of my goals SO THAT I could report that to my group.

And it worked!

Just thinking about checking in gave me the motivation I needed to actually get something done. It became the kick I needed.


Funny how that works!

Funny and wonderful.

That gives me hope

I wish to be an encourager and an equipper. 

I wish to help people find what they need to be what they are meant to be. 

Maybe I can offer encouragement or understanding. Solidarity. Respect.  

Possibly I can share helpful tools. Perhaps words of wisdom. 

Maybe I can bolster confidence that has faltered.

Hopefully I can challenge others to think more creatively. To reconsider priorities. 

Maybe I can point to a better perspective. 

Inspire to a more lofty goal. To possibilities previously unseen. 

Perhaps I can stretch the thinking of others along with my own. 

I hope to do these noble things with my words and my presence. In my daily contacts, but perhaps especially in my writing - not because my writing is more important than real life, but because I have so little social contact in real life.

And so I try. I write words - and publish them - and hope that at least some of them will help somebody. That they will encourage or challenge or equip or teach or strengthen.

But then I have to wonder

Are those words doing what I wish for them to do? 

Is anybody reading them? 

Are they helping anybody? 

Has someone been motivated or encouraged by my words? 

I may never know.

Such is the life of a writer. We lift our words to the window and let them fly off into the world and may never know where they will travel nor what they will achieve.

But…

Once in awhile, someone returns a few words back to me. 

Someone thanks me for sharing beauty with them.

The illustration helped someone.

That story changed their perspective.

Someone relates how my words gave them courage to take the next steps.

Someone tells me that they enjoy reading my words.

And that gives me hope.

...

Credit goes to my new friend and writing instructor Christine Niles for her challenge to write about something that gives me hope.