More thoughts on May

May is gone 

Sadness about things I didn't get to do 

Regret for letting myself be ”too busy”

Almost as if I was gone 

But I wasn't gone

I was here

Yes, I was busy, doing some amazing stuff.

I was learning about poetry - even dabbled with writing it.

I was engaging neighbors and planning future events - and historical projects.

I was spending time with my mom.

I was caring for grand-kids.

I was not gone.

I was not on the other side of the country.

I was here.  

Available even.

...
As I look back on 2014, I don’t regret being “gone” that May.

Even though I was

Gone 

Inaccessible to my mom and my kids

But it was a good month  

An amazing experience

A great adventure

...

And now
May 2019

I’ve been in the middle of another adventure

Suspended in projects but somehow still available

Pretty amazing actually

Hey, I could be proud of myself

For coping  

Handling things

Juggling

So much

Balancing

Tweaking

Shifting as needed

I made it.

I fulfilled my tasks.

I did my job.

I celebrated art and artists.

I even rode a few miles on my bike.

Yes, I felt too busy.

Swamped and scattered

Slammed

But I held it together.

No major melt-downs

No real panic or crises

No harsh words

Wow; I’m starting to be impressed.

I’m pretty amazing.

May was pretty amazing now that I think about it.