Seasons of life

“My writing goal for this month is

to spend less time writing.” 

Wait; did I really say that?

A common question in writing groups might be something like “how’s your writing going this week?” Or “what is your writing goal this month? Good questions.

 

Our answers were often predictable about trying to find more time for writing. That’s why I was surprised to hear myself say that my writing goal for this month is to not spend so much time writing.  

Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. 

After all, I had been spending more time writing.  

Maybe too much time.

I had kept my head down and pushed myself to get that writing project done.

For months writing had been pretty much my single focus.  My top priority.

I was depleted.  My project was intensely personal and had been mentally and emotionally exhausting.  It certainly made sense that I needed a break.

So I took a break.

A week or two.

A month, maybe three.

Eventually I became aware of another thought that also caught me off-guard.

It was as if I didn’t want to be a writer anymore.

Or at least that I wanted to be something else besides a writer.

I had worked hard to become a writer. 

• I decided to start thinking of myself as a writer. 
• I slowly built a consistent writing habit. 
• I chose to focus on writing as one of my highest priorities.
• I started a blog… and have posted regularly for well over a decade!
• I wrote and self-published a book… and then another.

I gave up other things to become a writer. By prioritizing my writing, I set aside other things that I now want to value.  I don’t regret my writing focus, but that’s not all I want to be in this next season.  I want to be more than a writer.  I am ready to move writing to a lower spot on the list because other things need to move to the top - for at least this season.  I no longer want writing to consume the biggest chunk of my time or energy - nor to be my main identity.

A writer friend called it balance - implying that balance is a good thing.

Another writer friend said that balance is a myth.

So which is it?

Maybe it’s about balance through the seasons.

About big pictures and small details.

Maybe there will be times for a single focus… 

AND times for balanced perspective.

And so I pause... to ponder... the seasons of life.