They are telling our story

I've just been introduced to Dave and Sheryl Balthrop and have learned some of their story about selling their house and combining households with her mom. They blog about their journey at Simple Life Reboot.

They are telling our story. Well, they are telling THEIR story but some of it is just like our story.  Sure; the details are different, but they are articulating many of our thoughts almost verbatim.

Here are just a few lines from Dave and Sheryl that are almost exactly what we've said and thought - illustrated by a couple of our pictures.

"While we recognized that our over-sized house used most of our resources,

we justified the expenditures by telling ourselves

that we needed to maintain a large legacy home

that could serve as a gathering place for our children and future grandchildren.

"But we began to realize that they weren’t really gonna’ come back all that often. 

We were gonna’ need to go see them. 

Their lives were busy."

"A big part of what drives us is our kids.

What they’re into

What they’re doing and

Our ability to stay in contact with them

"But the house was sorta’ tying us down.

"The house that we thought was so important  

to keep for them to come home to...

This house might be the obstacle hindering us from going to see the kids."

…

Dave summarizes: 

"Early on, we realized it was the right thing to do.

As we got further into the process,

we knew that it was ABSOLUTELY the right thing."

...

Sheryl remembers:

"It was emotional.

What will people think?"

...

Regarding downsizing:

"We ... consider it an advance gift to our children

in that they would never have to deal with boxes and boxes

of unneeded items which we edited from our lives."

Regarding the gatherings, Sheryl wondered if the kids would come to her mom’s house for Christmas and other gatherings.

"Would they still come?"

"Would they feel comfortable?"

And then she answers the question:

"Yes, they still come. 

It gets a little silly, with lots of blow-up beds,

but I think it’s more of an adventure.

"They’re coming to spend time with us and with each other, 

not to be in a particular space."

Yes, we have said and thought almost these exact things about the place and the people.

...

And here are a few other wise words from Dave:

"I believe we move towards that which we contemplate."  

Now there's something to contemplate.

Read more of their story HERE.

Off the road again - for the moment

Two years ago we were leaving our first work-camping job in southern California and heading north up the coast on our way to Alaska.

Two months ago we signed a one-year lease and moved into an apartment in mid-Michigan.

It has been an interesting journey. 

Nearly six years ago we had made the decision to downsize and sell the farm. 

We wanted the freedom to travel but especially to be able to visit our kids - and maybe even live near them. I guess we’ve done that. We spent the first five months of our life on the road near our youngest in soCal and then a month very near her in Alaska. We lived near our middle daughter last summer and near our oldest last fall.

Our decision had also included the idea of exploring and experiment for awhile - to see if we liked living on the road and to discover places where we might want to spend more time. We had no idea whether (or when or where) we might want to ever buy property again so it seemed like a little exploration was in order.

Sure enough, we discovered lots of things about living on the road that we do enjoy and we found lots of places that we hope to re-visit. We also discovered some things that we don’t so much enjoy - particularly the idea of being away from the kids and grand-kids for so long. Hence our decision to come “off the road” for the next year.

Will we ever live on the road again? 

Who knows? 

We are certainly open to that idea, but we don’t need to know right now. 

Neither do we know how long we will stay in this area, but we don’t need to know that just yet either. 

It is enough to enjoy the moment and to fully appreciate the freedom that we have found by making that momentous decision six years ago and by doing the hard work of downsizing our stuff. That process, by the way, is still not finished. In fact, we are hard at work wrapping it up at this very moment.

Downsizing: a bad word?

The first time I remember hearing the term downsizing, it seemed like a bad word.

Some company was downsizing and letting go a whole bunch of good people.

Downsizing resulted in pain and fear and frustration.

I also remember that when I began hearing about downsizing in one's personal life, I was still not impressed that it was a good thing. Someone was speaking of the freedom and simplicity of living with less stuff and I could only think of how much I liked my stuff. Most of my stuff felt important to me and I couldn’t imagine how life could be better without it. I was not at all interested in giving up my prized possessions. I knew that doing so could be a terribly difficult task. It did not seem like fun.

...

Much of my stuff symbolized my heritage and my legacy. 

The thought of getting rid of those was appalling. 

Heart-breaking.

...

But oh, my. I am so glad that we didn't stay stuck there.

That we finally became willing to at least think about it.

To admit that we didn't need it all.

That it really was too much.

And that eventually we were somehow convinced to give it a shot.

...

Life is so much better with less stuff.

But wait; please hear what I am not saying.

I am not saying that life is better now than it was back then when we had more stuff.

'Twas a wonderful life and I am terribly grateful for it all.

I AM saying that our “now” is better than it would be if we had tried to keep everything.

No, maybe that’s still not quite right. 

Our “now” would simply not be possible if we had insisted on keeping everything.

I guess that's it.

Forgot to blog

Oops; I just remembered that I have a blog.

I've been forgetting to write something on it.

I guess I got distracted.

Distractions

Yep, we live in a land of distraction.

Lots of fun distractions

• Like grandkids to visit and care for
• Like a new neighborhood to explore
• Like LOTS of restaurants to check out
• Like being able to watch Jeopardy! 
• Like remembering how to drive a stick shift again

Also some not so fun distractions. 

Like medical appointments.

Like an ugly political circus filling the news and social media.
(Now there's one that can distract me and steal my joy and my peace - IF I let it - so I've made a decision not to let it!)

I am a bit ambivalent about some of the distractions in my life these days. I am thrilled by the opportunities, but struggling to remember how to find balance in my schedule. 

I really want to establish healthy routines. I want to walk a couple miles each morning which I mostly enjoy but I don’t walk very fast which means that every mile takes a chunk out of my day.

I really do want to check out lots of the restaurants in our area. So fun. But so much food. I do NOT need all of the food in a typical serving so I usually take most of it home where it becomes another meal or two in the following days. That’s all good.

Social opportunities are abundant for us in this new season. It has been awhile since I’ve had so many options. Maybe I've forgotten how to balance the appointments with my normal work.

There are educational opportunities. 

I am currently taking a couple on-line courses - and barely keeping up with the assignments! 

And books! So many books! 

There are shelves and shelves of books at the library, but how to pick just one. There are boxes and boxes full of my favorite books that have been stored away for four years - that I am delighted to be able to access again - but where do I start?

And speaking of boxes and boxes… Yes, there are still bins and boxes from our storage unit that I simply must keep working my way through.

These opportunities all take time. 

• Checking out the new town takes time. 
• Getting to know my neighbors takes time. 
• Catching up with family and friends takes time. 
• Sorting through all those boxes takes time. 
• Walking a couple miles takes time - every day. 
• Making those phone calls to set up appointments takes time. 
• Driving to the appointments and sitting in waiting rooms takes time. 
• Doing homework assignments takes time.  

And blogging takes time - or it gets crowded out of the schedule. Or forgotten!

Limitations

Time management has always been a weak spot for me. Now that I am back in the land of opportunity, it’s time to pull out the wise tactics that I learned back in the day. IF I can remember what they are.

I know that I am not alone in this struggle. In fact, my schedule is shockingly clear compared to the average person’s. Probably most of us have a natural tendency to get too busy. There are so many demands on our time - by our own desires, by the people we love, by society in general.  

It is SO easy to let our calendars fill up with good stuff. We must find ways to assess our schedules so that we can intentionally find the balance that we need.

Over the last few years I had gradually become convinced that writing is one of the important things that I do - but it doesn’t look like it lately.
I am noticing that now.
I can choose what to do about it.
Now.

Seasons

Our lives unfold in seasons. 

• Seasons of child-raising and career-building. 
• Seasons of good times and hard times. 
• Seasons of abundance as well as lean seasons.
• Seasons where we can barely hold on and other seasons where there is some margin. 
• Some room to grow, space to create, time to explore.

During these last few years of travel, my seasons have been more pronounced than in previous years. Some of those seasons have been sparse in terms of options; consequently it is natural that I would want to take advantage of the vast opportunities in this season. Several of the travel seasons have been lonely so now it is great to have the chance for regular contact with loved ones. In this season of abundant opportunity it is tempting to try for more than we have time or energy for.

Choices

And you?

• What season are you in? 
• Is it an extremely busy season or is there some margin? 
• Are you happy about your priorities and how they play out in your schedule?
• Which things would you change in your schedule if you could?
• Is it possible to make any of those changes - or to even start moving in that direction?
• Is there something that you’ve been neglecting that you really wish you could be doing now - or very soon? 
• What is it worth to you?
• Can you sacrifice something else for it?

We do have choices, you know. Usually more than we realize.

Start with peace

'Twas a good week and a busy week. 

Routines got neglected. 

Stuff got messed up. That's life. 

And yes, I'm aware I'm speaking for more than just myself...

So where do we start? 

• There's that pile of "new" things that came in from the storage unit last week and didn't find a home yet. Most of it doesn't deserve a home - at least not here. Surely someone else could make better use of it. But that takes time - to sort and to haul away.
• Then there's that stuff that got pulled out of that tight spot in the closet where it was stored away - and that’s right; it never got returned to its spot - so it is piled up somewhere else.
• There’s the pile of fresh laundry that I so energetically got washed and dried - and even folded! - early this morning, but is still waiting to be put away.
• There are the books from the library who do not yet have a temporary home - because this was the first time we got books from this library. 
• There are groceries waiting to be put away. There's a fridge to clean out. 
• Then there’s the closet that I have been wanting to organize. Things have been going in there since we moved in but I have yet to set it up the way I want it. The same is true of my desk drawers…
• Oh, and our storage cage down in the dungeon! That needs major attention!
• There are so, so many things that I need/want to get done. Makes me tired just thinking about it. 

How about you?
Have you had a busy week?

Has anything been neglected around your house?

Which things need your attention?

Do you have a strategy to tackle them?

For me it starts with my attitude. Will I let the piles discourage me? Will I give up? I do have a choice here. I could choose to pick one thing and get 'er done. But which one thing? And will it really make a difference?

For the sake of my emotional health, I know that I need to make a pretty big dent in the way things are. I need to find some of my good routines and get them back in action. I really need to tackle those desk drawers. But sometimes you just gotta’ go for the obvious. In this case, I think that means the visible. 

I need some visible peace. I need to focus on the things that I see every day. To create some visible calm. That means getting stuff "hidden" behind closed doors. Yes, I need to open those doors and do the real work behind them. Yes, I know the danger of putting things out of sight which may lead to them never getting done. But I also know that I have to start somewhere. And I know that feeling overwhelmed is not a very effective motivator. So for this moment I believe it is time to banish the visible clutter.

So here I go to create a bit of beauty. Or at least a point of peace. To transform at least one spot of chaos into calm...

And you?

Is there one task that would create a bit of peace and calm in your life?

Would that make it a better day?

Or is there another strategy that will work better for you?