A good prayer

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can 

and the wisdom to know the difference.

…

Serenity

I like serenity.  I want to have it.

But accept those things?  

The really bad things?  

Ack!  I don’t want to accept them.

However if there is nothing I can do to change them, what choice do I really have?

Besides maybe I ought to save my energy for something more important.

Like to change the things I CAN.

Because yes, that takes courage.  

And work.

And discipline and diligence.

And follow-through.

And yes, energy.

But how do I know which things I can change?

That’s the tricky part.

That’s where the wisdom comes it.

It takes wisdom. 

It takes lots of things.  

It takes learning and practice.

It takes being teachable.

Being willing to admit I might be wrong.

It takes humility.

It might take asking for help.

It might take working my butt off only to see nothing change.

It might take trial and error.

It might take coming up with a good strategy, but not getting any credit for it.

…

I guess maybe it works better for me to invert this thing.

Turn it upside-down.

Start with the wisdom.

Figure out which things I might be able to change and which things I can’t.

Next I can pour my energy into the ones where I can make a difference.

And THEN maybe I can be okay to accept the things I cannot change.  

Or at least I’ll be ready for a nap by then!

…

I really like what Melissa Camara Wilkins says about this acceptance thing.  She speaks of giving ourselves space to own the frustration and awful emotions that come with not being able to change things. Her words help me with this serenity thing.

…

So here's to serenity and courage and wisdom.

I could afford to learn more about how to practice all three.

Because obviously I can’t fix the problems of the world.  Duh.

But I can sure enough find a bunch of ways to make the world a better place.

Snow day!!!

Another snow day!
Snow days are wonderful.

We’ve had lots of them so far this winter.  

Lots of opportunity to enjoy Michigan winter.

Disclaimer:  even though I am no longer a teacher or a student nor am I personally affected by snow days, I still notice them - perhaps because they were always such a wonderful part of winter.

…

During the years we lived “on the road” we were away from Michigan for four winters. Despite our fun adventures in beautiful places, I had begun to feel like something was missing.

The kids and grand-kids. Obviously. 

And friends.
And a sense of belonging and community...

And then one day I happened upon an article that grabbed my attention. 

…

I started reading it and then I stopped reading so I could write about it.
I simply had to interact with what I was reading.
I was compelled to try to capture these thoughts and feelings.

I found myself crying as I read some more and as I wrote some more.

I began to recognize some of what I was missing.  
Some of the nostalgia associated with Michigan winters for me.

…

Snow days...
  

Memories from my childhood.

The smell of fresh bread baking. 

Curled up with a good book.

Going sledding on the big hill on the dead-end road.

Clambering up onto the huge snow banks piled high by the snow plows.

Coming back inside the house chilled to the bone.
Standing over the huge floor register as the warmth rising from the furnace below spread through those cold muscles.

Maybe get out a big jigsaw puzzle.

Definitely a holiday feel.

…

And then there were the memories from our years as teachers and with our own kids...

A roaring fire in the fireplace.
Not having to do anything or go anywhere - unless we decided to walk to Grandpa and Grandma’s place.  
Or to maybe walk a little farther across the fields to the other grandparents!
Or just listen to our boots crunching the snow as we walked through the silent woods.

…

But it wasn’t just the snow days.  Even when life was moving along on a “normal” schedule, something was different about wintertime. Something special and valuable. 
A sense of coziness.  
Not really hibernation, but of feeling snug and at peace.  
Of having time to breathe. 
Time to BE and not just DO.  

Maybe I shouldn’t say this out loud, but I really loved January and February - because I felt like they offered a chance to slow down and think.  To process life.  To learn. To read and study.

…

And so on the day I read that article I remembered what I loved about Michigan winter. 

I learned that “Norwegians … have a word, koselig, that means a sense of coziness. It’s like the best parts of Christmas, without all the stress.”  

Yes!  That’s it.  Or at least, that’s part of it.

That’s what I was missing. What I was wishing for.

And so I kept writing and thinking - trying to articulate what I was feeling.  

And of course I wondered what hubby would think.

He had been the one who wanted to get out of Michigan winter.

He had suggested that we try it for at least one year and then maybe alternate - one winter in the south and the next in Michigan.  I had agreed to give it a try.  

We spent that first winter in the tropics and I was okay.  And then we got our RV and did two more winters in the south - as far south as we could drive the rig.  And then we flew to the tropics one more time. We found some great spots in each of those winters.  

So what would he think?

He quickly agreed that it was certainly my turn.  AND he even felt like he also was ready to come off the road and settle down for a bit.  So we decided to give it a try.  

And…

Not only did we survive a Michigan winter, but we found ourselves ready to buy a house and put down roots.  In fact that was his idea.  He realized that he was ready for some “projects” - as in to do some carpentry again.

…

Years earlier, when we put the tree farm up for sale we had decided to try out the life on the road and then see whether we ever felt like buying property again.

And here we are - in an old historic house with lots of projects to be done.   

And here we are - smack dab in the middle of a Michigan winter.

Granted; I have to admit that winter in the city is far different than winter in the country - but some things might actually be better.  

Like the fact that we can walk to The Local Grocer if we run out of supplies.

AND the cafe next door is still a bustling place - a community gathering spot - even on a snow day!  That’s fun.

But...
Snow days don't automatically mean a slower pace and a sense of cozy peace.
I still have my strong tendency to let my schedule get too busy - especially because there are so many fun opportunities that come with living here. Therefore I have had to make deliberate and even difficult choices to slow my life down so that I can once again bask in the glow of my Michigan winter.

And oh, yes, I readily admit that there are lots of things about Michigan winters that are NOT fun or warm and cozy.  Duh. Dealing with snow and wind and ice and sub-zero temps can be downright miserable - not to mention dangerous and unhealthy.

But still I want to make it a priority to focus on the good stuff and to celebrate the things about Michigan winter that I love.  The things that I need about this season.

So here's to snow days!

Here's to slowing down.

Here's to koselig.

Here's to the smell of fresh bread baking in the oven...
...or a pot of soup simmering on the back burner!

Here's to gazing out at the beautiful snowflakes.

And here's to shoveling them every few hours! 

International Taste Fest - a dream come true

I am sitting at the Flint Farmers’ Market enjoying a tasty bowl of chicken pho from MaMang Vietnamese food counter.  Finally.  I've watched people eat it and heard many friends rave about it.  And finally I tried it for myself.  Yes, I like it.  Very much.

I love this place.  This farmers' market.  Since the first time I set foot here I have been impressed with the vitality and diversity of the place. The variety of food options - whether fresh and raw or already cooked. 'Tis a beautiful place. So colorful - both literally and culturally. Perhaps especially today as flags from 80 countries flutter in the air around the atrium - in preparation for the International Taste Fest this week.

I am excited.  I’ve been waiting for this event for a really long time - without even knowing about it.  

Here’s the thing.  We moved to this city to hang out with Internationals.  We had hopes of getting acquainted with people from all over the world.  I imagined International dinners and other happenings to celebrate the cuisine of other cultures.

It seemed like there were quite a few Internationals around Flint, but how to find them turned out to be a little tricky.  When we first came to the area I had to get pretty creative to make connections.  I knocked on a lot of doors (well, not literally) and made a bunch of phone calls before eventually finding people who pointed me to other people who worked with International students and we were finally able to connect.

But here we are now - living in this diverse city - and here I am volunteering with two different organizations serving immigrants and International students.  What fun!!!  Turns out the timing was great; we got here just in time to get in on the ground floor of the brand-new International Center of Greater Flint.  It has been my privilege to set up their Facebook page and to promote this very cool kick-off event, The International Taste Fest. A dream come true.

Eighteen countries are represented at this event - providing food, beverages and entertainment.  

Today while I was slurping my bowl of Vietnamese pho at MaMang, Tony told me that he would probably be serving Saigonese salad for the taste fest.  I’m told that it contains noodles, lettuce, chicken and cucumber and other good stuff.  I look forward to it and many other samplings as well.

If you live in central or southeast Michigan, you should come!  

The taste fest is Thursday, January 25, from 4 to 7 p.m. in the Ramsdell Room at Flint Farmers' Market.  

And it's free!

Will I see you there?

Two natures

Two natures beat within my breast

The one is foul, the other blest

The one I love, the one I hate

The one I feed will dominate

- Author Unknown

Year-end letter

Consider this our year-end letter to you - with greetings from our house to yours for a prosperous and healthy new year.

...

What a year this has been!

January 2017 found us safe and snug in a little apartment where we had parked to enjoy a whole year in one place - that place being just north of Flint, Michigan.

After traveling for four years, I had been missing Michigan winters.  Yah, crazy; I know. So we came off the road - at least for awhile.  We had chosen the location because it was somewhere between our moms and a couple of our daughters and sure enough, it was convenient for those reasons.  Plus with the proximity to the universities in Flint, an old dream to welcome and serve International students had been awakened within us and we had begun to connect with some of them.

A few days into 2017, Bob started saying that he might be ready for some projects again and started talking about buying a fixer-upper house.  So we began house-shopping and quickly narrowed our search area to be near the universities. 

It wasn’t long before we found a place that is just right - located between Kettering University and UM-Flint and with enough space to host events and even overnight guests - AND with enough “projects” to keep Bob the Builder busy for the foreseeable future.  We made an offer in February, closed in March, moved into the house in April and by fall we were able to host several different events - for neighbors as well as for International students.

We really love our new neighborhood and our new city.  The move has brought so many happy surprises for which we are grateful.  The area is rich with culture and diversity and so many wonderful people. During our life on the road, there had been very little opportunity for community and I can admit that it got a little lonely, so I totally love the abundant opportunity for community and connections that we have now.

So here we are.  Bob has his projects. He moves steadily along, starting and completing one after another. I am working my way through my own set of projects and am loving the range of options and opportunities.

We often hear ourselves commenting about how much we love our life and this place.  We are grateful indeed for this new adventure of the past year and can’t help but wonder what the coming year will bring.  By this age we are well aware that there are any number of things that could mess things up so we plan to appreciate and enjoy every moment we have in this chapter.