The month of May

What happened to May?  Seems like it just arrived and already it is packing up to leave.  Hard to believe.  

May has always been my favorite month.

I’ve written about that a time or two.

I was expecting May 2020 to be extra special because of my milestone birthday, but then COVID changed everything.  Now here we are wrapping up another May. This one was been unique in that we are starting to emerge from the pandemic.  Having become a bit more in tune with my own mental health during these months, I have been determined to engage slowly and deliberately.  For example, I am learning to embrace my introvert side and to stand with her when the FOMO side starts teasing and taunting.  

Yes, I still have symptoms of that old “Fear of Missing Out” but I hope that I’m a little healthier these days.  

Yes, I will miss out on things.  

Yes, I will feel badly about some of them.  

But I simply cannot do all the things.  

I have to make choices.  Duh.  

I must say no to lots of cool ideas - so that I can say yes to my top priorities.

 

Perhaps quarantine will have strengthened my resolve. Maybe. 

I hear people say they are not going to take on so much after this.

I see lists of the things “we” are deciding not to re-introduce to daily life.

I nod in agreement and whole-hearted assent.

And I wonder if we will follow through.

I wonder what our calendars will look like next year at this time.

Maybe I need to start with my monthly planning.  

Maybe my new goals and dreams are where the rubber meets the road.  

Maybe instead of trying to improve my P.R. or the number miles I put on my bike or my feet, I will choose to watch for other markers.  

Maybe I will be more alert to really important stuff.  

Like…  noticing that I was snippy with somebody or that I’m dominating conversation.  I am not putting myself down, but noticing little things that could be symptoms of deeper things.  

Pausing to wonder WHY I’m feeling resentful. 

Taking time to take inventory of my mental and emotional health.

Working “the program” as my dear friend taught me years ago.

And then being responsive to what I discover.

To assess how I’m really doing.

To tweak my schedule and my goals for the next weeks.

Yearly goals never worked for me but monthly increments work well - for goals and plans and assessment.  A month is short enough to make needed changes and course corrections and long enough to actually make some progress.  Monthly goals are here to stay, but I don’t have a firm plan for what that means - simply because that seems to keep changing as I keep learning and adjusting.  I’m pretty okay with that.

This blog space is one example.  

Some months I post only once - which can seem almost silly.

But it is one of my hard goals that I try to keep: post at least once/month.  

Doing so is considered success in my book.

So here I am.

Blogging in May.

Success.

AND it has given me a chance to process some of my other hopes and dreams.