What a difference a year makes

One year ago today, my daughter was on the other side of the world, in the middle of a medical crisis, with uncertainty and danger on every side. We were waiting to hear whether she would need surgery. I was applying for my visa - not wanting to go to India, but wanting/needing to be there with her.

Today that daughter is safe in Michigan. Today I held her new-born daughter (my first grandchild) in my arms - in a beautiful, modern, sanitary birth center. How different from what might have been. How grateful I am.

One year later, other areas of life are very different as well. One year ago a flourishing house church was meeting in our home every week; today we are on a Sabbatical from pretty much all ministry. A year ago today we carried the dreams and burdens for this place and wondered where we would find the energy and resources to make them happen; today we feel released from that load and free to move on to new adventures. What a change that is for us. It feels like a fresh start, turning over a new leaf, opening a new chapter.

December 1 - World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day - dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection. I won't presume to tell you what you should do about this fact. I don't even know yet what I'm going to do. But I can mention some things that we could do.

I could spend some time thinking about a few facts:
-that AIDS has killed more than 25 million people between 1981 and 2007
-that of the estimated 2 million who died in 2007, about 270,000 were children

I could let myself be appalled at the numbers of people currently living with AIDS:
-one million in the Congo
-one million in Uganda
-over a million each in Kenya, Tanzania, Zambia and the USA
-nearly two million each in Mozambique and Zimbabwe
-two million in Nigeria
-5.5 million in South Africa
-5.7 million in India

I can applaud the efforts of those who:
-have chosen to minister to AIDS orphans across the African continent
-are using their fame & their wealth to try to curb the spread of disease
-have invested their time to do research and find cures

I can grieve with those who grieve.
I can remember specific people who have died from AIDS.
I can celebrate their lives and the contributions they made to this world.
I can express my gratitude for having known some of them.
I can pay tribute to the amazing and talented Ron Sims.
I am a better person for loving and having been loved by him.

Words can seem so trivial

Each day during November I have been posting something that I am thankful for. My thankfulness list is quite long - so it is often a struggle to narrow it down to one item.  But this morning there is another struggle as well.  I have friends who are dealing with a horrible tragedy today.  I pray for them and cry for them and can't imagine how hard it must be to lose a child - another child!

When I tried to choose my thankfulness item this morning, I felt so hesitant.  It feels insensitive.  I can't post something light & cheery.  Certainly there's nothing wrong with feeling thankful and expressing it; November is a good time for that.  But there is also a time to grieve.  We are told to mourn with those who mourn.  

Yes, I am thankful for so many things, but instead of posting some of them, today I choose to honor my friend, Jill, in her loss, and to mourn with her.  I continue to cry with her and pray for her. 

Lessons at the half

Wow; I'm really doing it. I'm writing a book. Amazingly I'm meeting the goals. That makes me more than a little proud of myself. I have now passed the half-way point, which it a pretty cool milestone. I've noticed that I am learning little lessons along the way - lessons about writing that might just as well apply to life.

1. The darn daily-ness of it is a pretty big deal.
We probably all understand the power of doing something every day - the building of a habit, but also the accumulation of the work being done - whittling away at a big project. When you are committed to doing something every day, that means sometimes you can fly with the inspiration, but other days you have to plow through the sludge.

2. Even a little bit extra every day counts up quickly
Because I knew I'd need to take a couple days off for special events - and because I'm afraid of getting behind - I decided to pad my daily goals a bit. Consequently, I've been steadily climbing ahead of the bar - almost surprising myself. I'm glad about that cushion because being ahead of the game motivates me whereas falling behind can cause panic in me.

3. Public accountability can be rather helpful
My first thought about writing this book was to keep it a big fat secret. I thought I'd feel a little silly telling people about it. But in some of the WriMo tips, we were told to tell everybody - because it makes you more accountable. I knew that was true and so I did. The deal is not only the accountability, but also the gift of encouragement that I've been offered. That's bonus.

I'm thankful for these lessons that seem to be helping me to reach this heretofore unimaginable writing goal. I am also trying to notice ways that these principles can help me reach other goals in life. Small lessons really, but with significant results: one day at a time, a little extra push each day, and let somebody know what you're doing.

Flashing life

"My whole life flashed before my eyes."

Evidently that's what happens to some people who experience a close call, a brush with death, a near-disaster of some sort. I am happy to report that I have received a gift - the opportunity for my life to march (much more slowly than a flash) before my eyes so that I have time to... Time to do what? Maybe time to enjoy it. Yes, that, but also time to grieve some things.

But I should explain how this came about. I am participating in NaNoWriMo during the month of November. (Google it if you're curious.) That means I'm writing a book. An autobiographical novel. I don't know how it will go or what shape it will become - nor whether I'll ever let anyone read a word of it. But what I do know is that I'm having fun and that this experience feels like a gift - the opportunity to process the memories of my life in a somewhat leisurely way. Feels like a good thing to do - healthy even - to stroll through my memories and pick out this one or that to see if I want to do any celebrating or grieving or learning or letting go.

I'm really glad for the opportunity - thankful for the gift.
Thanks, NanoWriMo.
Nano, nano