BRAVE NEW BEAT

BRAVE NEW BEAT
by Erin Zindle & the Ragbirds

I made friends with fear
We went everywhere together
He pulled out my chair
when I sat down at the table
I told him everything
just to get his opinion
He spoke so confidently
because I always believed him
He kept me from doin' anything
too risky or brave
In exchange for his protection
I became his slave

I made friends with hate
I hated everything about him
But I was so wounded by love
I tho't I couldn't live without him
He kept track of every little grudge
so it wouldn't heal
He helped me hold & preserve
all the pain I feel

I'm leavin' this sad city
Sorry, my old friends
but you can't go with me
I made friends with love & mercy
Ooh... & they're such good dancers
So don't call me anymore...
I'm not gonna' answer

I'm gonna' tango with my new friends
I'm gonna' tango with my new self
I'm gonna' tango with my new feet
I'm dancin' to the rhythm
of a brave new beat

...

--------------
Thank you, Erin Zindle, for this great song.
Thank you to my friend, Sherry, for reminding me of it.
It articulates my healing & my freedom.

ta-da!!!

Ooh, ooh; I just remembered that for awhile I played around with the idea of ta-da lists rather than to-do lists. I've been a list-maker for many years & they often serve me well. Or maybe I should say that I serve them well in actually getting things done. At any rate, sometime, somewhere in my history I came up with or came upon the idea of making ta-da lists instead. They had a much different feel. Instead of drudgery, they were celebratory - rejoicing over the things that I had finished or accomplished. I haven't thought about them for awhile, but maybe I will resurrect the idea.

...

Wouldn't you know it? It turns out that "Ta-da list is the web's easiest to-do list." Guess maybe I wasn't so original. Or maybe I should have copyrighted my idea years ago. Drats! However, it looks like this one is really just a list of things ya' gotta' do. So there ya' go...

Grace: is it really enough?

Grace is an amazing thing! Duh. But I wonder if we realize how amazing. It has been only recently that I have begun to grasp the wonder of it. I've read a couple incredible books on the topic; it might be time to review them. I've written about it and maybe need to read those pieces again.

This morning I came across "an interview" with Michael Spencer, the internet monk. Actually, it is a composite of excerpts from his writings set into an interview format. Here is a sampling of those quotes:

"Grace, not legalism, not works, is the great motivator of the Christian life.

"Try this one out at any gathering of evangelical Christians: 'Once you are justified by faith, you can do what you want. And if you want to do all the things you did before you knew Jesus, then you just don’t get it.' (Gasp) You’ll immediately notice that some Christians want it very clear that you can’t expect to be saved by grace if you don’t live right.

"What you can do, not what God has done, is the great theme of most of what is published and recorded in the evangelical world.... Grace is an endangered species...

"I know I am not very obedient. I know my sinful patterns and my perennial laziness. I know where I fall short... I may make more progress on these things, but honestly, I doubt it. My efforts at obedience have about run their course. Most of what I am going to be as a human being living as a Christian on this planet, I’ve probably already achieved. I want all the years God has for me, and I want to honor and glorify him, but if I am going to learn about grace, now is the time. I need it now."

Read the whole "interview" at http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/faq-on-grace

Priorities & pacing

I haven't been blogging much lately - obviously. I could feel quite guilty about that if I let myself. I actually haven't been doing much writing at all - not nearly as much as I say that I want to - nor much reading either for that matter. I keep thinking that I really want to do more writing & more reading, so then I ask myself why I don't. Well, this time around, in this particular season of my life, I suddenly find myself in a situation that is both unusual for me and unfamiliar to me - not to mention scary & difficult. I am walking a path where I have never been before. It is demanding most of my time and pretty much every drop of mental & emotional energy that I can find. So I am giving myself permission to not do everything, to set aside things that are not totally necessary.

I think my priority should be to survive this transition - or better yet, to thrive in it. To grieve the losses and to celebrate the blessings, to savor the moments. I think that means that I need to pace myself & I am trying to do just that. It also means making wise decisions as to which priorities get my best attention.

Once this path turns the next big corner, there will likely be lots of time to get back to writing & reading & other currently neglected pursuits.

To everything there is a season.
I choose to walk through this one the best way I know how.

Johnny Lingo

(The legend of Johnny Lingo has been published in many places and has been made into at least two movies.)
\

My trip to the Kiniwata Island in the Pacific was a memorable one. Although the island was beautiful and I had an enjoyable time, the thing I remember most about my trip was the fact "Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife." I’m reminded of it every time I see a woman belittle her husband or a wife wither under her husband’s scorn. I want to say to them, "You should know why Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife."

Johnny Lingo is known throughout the islands for his skills, intelligence, and savvy. If you hire him as a guide, he will show you the best fishing spots and the best places to get pearls. Johnny is also one of the sharpest traders in the islands. He can get you the best possible deals. The people of Kiniwata all speak highly of Johnny Lingo. Yet, when they speak of him, they always smile just a little mockingly.

A couple days after my arrival to Kiniwata, I went to the manager of the guesthouse to see who he thought would be a good fishing guide. "Johnny Lingo," said the manager. "He’s the best around. When you go shopping, let him do the bargaining. Johnny knows how to make a deal."

"Johnny Lingo!" hooted a nearby boy. The boy rocked with laughter as he said, "Yea, Johnny can make a deal alright!"

"What’s going on?" I demanded. "Everybody tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo and then they start laughing. Please, let me in on the joke."

"Oh, the people like to laugh," the manager said, shrugging. "Johnny’s the brightest and strongest young man in the islands. He’s also the richest for his age."

"But …" I protested. "… if he’s all you say he is, why does everyone laugh at him behind his back?"

"Well, there is one thing. Five months ago, at fall festival, Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He gave her father eight cows!"

I knew enough about island customs to be impressed. A dowry of two or three cows would net a fair wife and four or five cows would net a very nice wife.

"Wow!" I said. "Eight cows! She must have beauty that takes your breath away."

"She’s not ugly…" he conceded with a little smile, "… but calling her ‘plain’ would definitely be a compliment. Sam Karoo, her father, was afraid he wouldn’t be able to marry her off. Instead of being stuck with her, he got eight cows for her. Isn’t that extraordinary? This price has never been paid before."

"Yet, you called Johnny’s wife ‘plain?’ "

"I said it would be a compliment to call her plain. She was skinny and she walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked. She was scared of her own shadow."

"Well," I said, "I guess there’s just no accounting for love."

"True enough." agreed the man. "That’s why the villagers grin when they talk about Johnny. They get special satisfaction from the fact the sharpest trader in the islands was bested by dull old Sam Karoo."

"But how?"

"No one knows and everyone wonders. All of the cousins urged Sam to ask for three cows and hold out for two until he was sure Johnny would pay only one. To their surprise Johnny came to Sam Karoo and said, ‘Father of Sarita, I offer eight cows for your daughter.’ "

"Eight cows." I murmured. "I’d like to meet this Johnny Lingo."

I wanted fish and pearls, so the next afternoon I went to the island of Nurabandi. As I asked directions to Johnny’s house, I noticed Johnny’s neighbors were also amused at the mention of his name. When I met the slim, serious young man I could see immediately why everyone respected his skills. However, this only reinforced my confusion over him.

As we sat in his house, he asked me, "You come here from Kiniwata?"

"Yes."

"They speak of me on that island?"

"Yes. They say you can provide me anything I need. They say you’re intelligent, resourceful, and the sharpest trader in the islands."

He smiled gently. "My wife is from Kiniwata."

"Yes, I know."

"They speak of her?"

"A little."

"What do they say?"

"Why, just … " The question caught me off balance. "They told me you were married at festival time."

"Nothing more?" The curve of his eyebrows told me he knew there had to be more.

"They also say the marriage settlement was eight cows." I paused. "They wonder why."

"They ask that?" His eyes lighted with pleasure. "Everyone in Kiniwata knows about the eight cows?"

I nodded.

"And in Nurabandi, everyone knows it, too?" His chest expanded with satisfaction.
"Always and forever, when they speak of marriage settlements, it will be remembered that Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Sarita."

So that’s the answer, I thought: Vanity.

Just then Sarita entered the room to place flowers on the table. She stood still for a moment to smile at her husband and then left. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin, and the sparkle in her eyes all spelled self-confidence and pride. Not an arrogant and haughty pride, but a confident inner beauty that radiated in her every movement.

I turned back to Johnny and found him looking at me.

"You admire her?" he murmured.

"She … she’s gorgeous." I said. "Obviously, this is not the one everyone is talking about. She can’t be the Sarita you married on Kiniwata."

"There’s only one Sarita. Perhaps, she doesn’t look the way you expected."

"She doesn’t. I heard she was homely. They all make fun of you because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karoo."

"You think eight cows was too many?" A smile slid over his lips.

"No, but how can she be so different from the way they described her?"

Johnny said, "Think about how it must make a girl feel to know her husband paid a very low dowry for her? It must be insulting to her to know he places such little value on her. Think about how she must feel when the other women boast about the high prices their husbands paid for them. It must be embarrassing for her. I would not let this happen to my Sarita."

"So, you paid eight cows just to make your wife happy?"

"Well, of course I wanted Sarita to be happy, but there’s more to it than that. You say she is different from what you expected. This is true. Many things can change a woman. There are things that happen on the inside and things that happen on the outside. However, the thing that matters most is how she views herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. As a result, that’s the value she projected. Now, she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands. It shows, doesn’t it?"

"Then you wanted …"

"I wanted to marry Sarita. She is the only woman I love."

"But …" I was close to understanding.

"But," he finished softly, "I wanted an eight-cow wife."