I don’t remember my exact reaction, but when I first began hearing the phrase Black Lives Matter, I’m quite sure that I felt immediate assent and tenderness about the declaration, highly sensitive person that I am. However that same sensitivity may have also triggered an instinctive response like “Of course, they do. All lives matter.”
Later, when I began hearing push-back about that reaction, I was confused and tried to understand some of the nuance. As I pondered the hope behind the Black Lives Matter movement, I quickly began to realize that it was much more complex than I imagined. As far as I can tell, there is no intended implication in that phrase about “other lives not mattering” - but only about Black lives who so often have NOT mattered to the rest of us.
Slowly I began to comprehend that the phrase “ALL lives matter” feels diminishing to Black people because it can seem as if the speaker wants to continue to ignore Black lives - particularly if the retort “ALL lives matter” is spit out angrily - or sarcastically. It can become an ugly competition about which lives matter the most.
Eventually, I came upon a rather absurd scenario that somehow helped me.
Suppose my house catches afire and is soon burning out of control. Fire fighters arrive quickly to put out the fire… until one of my neighbors marches into the street to block their progress - shouting “ALL homes matter” - and demanding that the firemen spray the roofs of every single house on the street instead of focusing on mine that is already engulfed in flame. Not only would it seem like my neighbor did not care about my situation, but he might well be responsible for further damage. I had to think about that for a minute.
This is a ridiculous example; right?
But…
I have gradually come to understand that this movement is about an entire group of people who have lived realities that imply they don’t really matter to white folks.
Finally here is a slogan and a movement that says otherwise.
Finally they might have a chance to be treated fairly.
I wish to be their advocate and ally. But maybe first I need to understand the implications of what that might mean. Therefore I must keep asking questions and try to understand what life is like living in their shoes.
…
All my life I heard in Sunday School about the Samaritans.
About how they were looked down on by the Jews.
It was simply a fact in their culture.
Maybe a bit like our history - when Blacks could not drink from the same water fountains as the whites.
We learned how religious leaders of that time were often asking Jesus questions to try to trip him up, to back him into a corner, and to get him in trouble. On one of those occasions someone asked the question, “And who is my neighbor?” - maybe with a bit of arrogance.
In response to the question, Jesus told a story and in the process made a Samaritan the hero of the story - a tactic that most likely pissed off the Scribes & Pharisees even more.
But maybe, just maybe… his words got through to some of the listening crowd as they maybe realized how terribly Samaritans had been treated.
Maybe a sweet Jewish Bubbe broke away from the crowd and walked over to Jesus.
Maybe she straightened up to her full height as she tearfully declared: Samaritan Lives Matter.
Maybe Jesus interrupted her and retorted, “Of course, they do. All lives matter!” After all, he had been preaching the message of love for everybody; right?
No?
That’s not how the story goes?
No.
It is good for me to remind myself - again - what Jesus was doing.
Jesus knew very well that Samaritans were looked down upon. He was already doing something about it. … he had elevated the Samaritan to hero status. The example for religious leaders and everyone else. He was being an advocate for people who didn’t seem to matter. Let that be a lesson to me!
… Jesus demonstrated that Samaritan Lives Matter - because society often treated them as if they didn’t. Hence the need for repeated reminders that indeed they do.
(Excerpted from my book, Beyond These Walls, pp. 106-107)
…
So many sides
So many angles
So many perspectives
So much to understand
So many ways to hurt each other
But so many opportunities to invest in each other
To care enough to really listen
To put myself in another’s shoes
And so I continue to listen and to learn.
I continue to admit my mistakes.
Because yes, all lives matter.
And because such things are not simple.
