Funeral awkwardness

I wonder what Lazarus would do at a funeral.
What would he say?
How would he feel?

If I were him, I think I might feel awkward. Not just the “not-knowing-what-to-say” kind of awkward, but you know? Sort of like a cheater? Yah, yah, I worry too much about what people think, but I’d probably imagine that someone might be thinking “So what are you doing here? Are you trying to show off?” Or maybe someone would think “How insensitive of you to flaunt your live body at a time like this!” Would anyone think that he was gloating?

Maybe he would feel a little bit like I felt the first few times I saw my friends after they lost their son to cancer. Jon & I were diagnosed around the same time. We were both bald the same summer, but he’s gone now & I’m still here 8 years later. It's almost as if I feel guilty for surviving - not really, but almost. My friends assure me that seeing me does not make them any sadder; no way do they resent my recovery, but still I feel weird.