After living in comfort and convenience and security for pretty much all of my life, we are starting out on an adventure unlike any other – that may seem silly & irresponsible. But it is a step of freedom, a step to freedom. And it is not just about where we live or don’t live and what we own and enjoy. It is also about what we believe and what we value. Our “before” life was full of stuff and all kinds of space to contain the stuff. Our new life has very little space to keep things, so we are throwing stuff overboard as quickly as we can pry our fingers open. If we are to travel, we can’t carry all this baggage. My perspective has changed about which things really matter to me. I realize that some of them are cherished for good reason while others now seem less important and even downright silly in the light of the journey.
So too in my soul and spirit – I have been in transition – a transition consisting of sorting and pitching the beliefs that I have clung to all my life. I have been taking a long hard look at all the bags and boxes of beliefs that had long bogged me down. The process of disentangling the piles of legalistic rules and expectations has been arduous, but I have recently realized that I am feeling free – in a pared-down sense, clean & lean, lighter and re-energized. I am discovering which things really matter and should be cherished. I also now recognize how unimportant other things are – downright silly even.
Yes, it feels weird to no longer be confined – and defined – by the walls that kept me safe and provided comfort and predictability as well as lots of space to store my stuff. Yes, it is scary to be outside those walls and facing the vast unknown – and with relatively few creature comforts. But it is an adventure – one which I’m glad to finally be free to embark.
Kay I am in awe of the journey you and your hubby are on. I'm impressed by it, perhaps even envy it. I want to simplify, simplify, simplify and yet, like you stated in a previous blog post, I am having a hard time with feeling as though I am not honoring, or being a good host to the MANY gifts I have been blessed to have received over my years. My gifts, my husbands gifts, my children's gifts - all the many gifts. I feel as though if I were to cut out the superfluous I could so much more easily concentrate on the important, the simple, the feeling of just having GOD around me, surrounding me, enveloping me, filling me. Instead I feel choked and overwhelmed by all that is around me. I want it to go. I want to live in a one room cabin in the middle of the woods with a babbling brook, shining with God's sunlight bouncing off clear water as it bubbles and rushes past rounded stones buried beneath the surface. I want to sit on my front porch and smell earth, leaves, clean air, see blue skies, feel the drops falling from the sky and hear the sounds of wildlife and wind. I want to not be hindered by the rush of the world and revel only in God's time and love. I want to read and read and read and not worry about responsibility to anything but God and me and mine....... I am in awe of you, indeed....
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lissa, for reading & commenting. Sometimes I think nobody ever reads this.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard, isn't it, to let go of stuff? What a hold it can have on us. I'm surprised & pleased that the more I get rid of the more I want to get rid of. Yay!