Yah, but...

We've all heard people say it. We've said it ourselves. We might agree with a sentiment, but doubt its possibility. We might think something is too good to be true. We may wish for it, but feel too fearful to try.

Writer Jeff Goins says these words "Yeah, but..." can kill your dreams. I agree that they can be deadly words. At the very least they can immobilize us. I have done my share of giving in to fear or discouragement by using those words. I might say "YES!" in my heart to what I'm reading or hearing or imagining, but then immediately think of all the reasons why it won't happen or it can't work.

Does it have to be that way?

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I love to mark books up when I read them. In fact, I often don't enjoy reading a book as much if I don't have a pen or a highlighter in hand to mark the best parts.

I have been known to scribble "YABUT" in the margin of books I was reading - my shorthand for "Yah, but..." Yah, this is good stuff, but I'm skeptical. Or this is wonderful, but I don't have the confidence to try it. Yah, I love this concept, but there are just too many obstacles.

Or there might be another reason - a pretty good one actually. I might read or hear something exciting. Yah, it may sound good on the surface, but I need to think it through a little more. Yah, I like this, but it doesn't line up with what I believe - which can then provide the catalyst for evaluating what I really believe. (Yes, I know that is a scary thought to many people, but I think it is very healthy to evaluate what I believe and why.)

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Then something interesting happened...

Somewhere through the years, instead of my old "YABUT" I noticed that I was writing "YBH?" in the margin. "Yes, but how?" Yes, this is good stuff, but how can I do it? How can I work through the obstacles to make this happen? How can I figure out how to accomplish this in my own life?

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Back to real life...

I'm happy to note that we seem to have incorporated my "YBH?" from my book-marking habit into some of our real-life circumstances. Case in point: When we suddenly felt "released" from this place three years ago... This peaceful lovely tree farm that had been our home for 40 years... We found ourselves so excited about getting the freedom to travel and explore and try living somewhere else. Not surprisingly, we began the "Yah, but..." line of reasoning. Yah, but we have a mortgage. Yah, but how will we sell this place? Yah, but do we really WANT to sell the place? Yah, but what about all of our stuff? Yah, but we have SO much stuff!!! Yah, but how will we finance any of this? Yah, but where will we live? Yah, but will we be able to let go of it all? Yah, but would we regret it?

They were good questions. Valid questions, valid concerns. Legitimate obstacles. These questions, these objections, these obstacles... had the power to stop us cold in our tracks, right where we were. Or they could push us to get creative in our problem-solving and our evaluating of the situation. We made the tough choice to begin the hard work of discovering what really mattered to us and then tackling those obstacles one at a time. I'm really glad we did.

Instead of getting stuck on "YABUT..." we moved on to "YBH?" Yes, we really want to do this thing, but how in the world can we make it happen? One step at a time, one obstacle at a time, we continue to assess what it was worth to us. Some things were hard to let go of, but we decided to make the sacrifice, to pay the price - for something even better. Other things we choose to keep, to cherish and protect and preserve and treasure.

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So what about it? Is "Yah, but..." a bad thing? Always? Should I ever listen when I hear it?

I want to be alert to that phrase when I hear myself (or maybe even someone else) say it. I guess I want to pay attention to the sentiment, but not let it control my decisions. I think I'm learning to take an honest look at the objections. Are they valid? Is this a red flag I see? Is it there for good reason? Is it a warning?

Maybe I mostly want to be alert to whether I am using "Yah, but..." as an excuse for not doing something that I could or should be doing. Certainly there are obstacles, but have they become excuses or cause for whining or pity? Maybe I should set about the business of dealing with them. Maybe it's time to scratch out my "YABUT" from the edge of my page and think "YBH?" instead. "Yes, I love this idea enough that I want to figure out how to do it."

YES, but how?!?