Good friend

Dear friend,

I don’t think that I’ve ever called you my best friend.

I guess somehow that would have seemed presumptuous.

Oh, you were a good friend and I've always liked you a lot, but our journeys converged for only a brief time.  I learned so much from you during those few short years we were in close proximity. I wish I had taken better notes.

When distance again separated us, I realized a bit more about what a treasure you are. I made conscious choices to reconnect from time to time - maybe even to the point of intruding on your schedule.  Oops.  But you were always gracious and welcoming.

And then there was the most recent reconnect - the one that neither one of us would have chosen.  Well, at least we wouldn't have chosen the reason. That big new thing we had in common that once again brought us together.  The dreaded disease and everything involved. The testing and the treatment. The waiting and the wondering. The fears and the feelings. The seriousness and the sadness.  

I began the cancer journey sooner than you but you passed me up - not only in the physical and medical complexities and milestones, but also in your ability to find life lessons in the midst of difficulty. And to be so grace-filled. And so positive. 

I cherished this opportunity for closer connection again even though it came through an unpleasant reason. I was smart enough to take advantage of opportunities for conversation but I wanted to be careful not to steal too many spoonfuls of your time and energy.  Yes, there was more I could have gleaned from you, but so many others in closer circles needed you even more.  And so I continued to cherish what I could gain whether in your short notes as you had the strength or in reading the updates from you and your family. 

...

As I look back over the different phases of our connection, I celebrate you and the things i've learned from you. 

During our shared months of pregnancy and young motherhood, I learned about patience and serenity from your example. Oh, my. Not sure I’ve ever known anyone who displayed such calm. How wonderful for me to be around that attitude when I was just beginning my parenting journey!

During the middle years of our long-distance friendship, I still gleaned valuable lessons - about priorities and planning ahead, about hospitality and serving, and about treating people with respect and dignity.

During these most recent years of our cancer journeys, I continue to learn.  You've always been an example to me but I have more recently realized what a valuable role model and mentor you have become for me through the years even at a distance.

I still have much to learn…

About being courageous

About taking responsibility

About loving people

About serving others

About being a friend

About standing for right but doing it with grace 

About finding the positive side of tough stuff that comes my way

About making the most of my moments

About letting peace rule my heart

About seeking wisdom

About compassion

I am sad that I can longer ask your advice.

I have already been missing you.

...

Good friends, best friends...

Such interesting terms.

As I said before I do not presume to claim best friend status with you but... 

You are definitely one of the BEST people I’ve ever known. 

And you have been my friend.

A good one.

The best.

And for that I am so very grateful.

Thank you.