Best ways to help

"Beautiful friend Lesley shares the stories (hers and others) of life with metastatic breast cancer. I understand at least one of their frustrations and want to learn how to find effective alternatives to throwing nickels and dimes at "pink fluffy" novelties in October. Let's figure out how to really do some good in funding the research to stop this awful disease."

These lines just popped up in my Facebook memories from a couple years ago. It was good for me to read this article again.  Such great questions and really real answers. 

I often hear people wonder what they can do that will be really helpful to someone with a cancer diagnosis - so this question grabbed my attention.

What do you find is helpful for those wanting to encourage and help us but yet not knowing how?

The best? 

• Organizing a meal train
• Sending a funny card on a regular basis
• Dropping off a gift card for take out food
• Inviting me out for lunch and offering to pick me up for a specific day and time (the vague “we should get together sometime” is not helpful)
• Telling me they are praying for me or saying a rosary for me each day

What do I wish people did more? 

• Inviting my husband out for a beer to check in on him. 
• Recognize I am not a phone person and agreeing to communicate with me via e-mail or text. 
• Offer to help me clean out a closet or countless other things that need to be done around my house that simply are not getting done. 
• Tell me you know I must be scared and ask me if I’d like to talk about it. I honestly have no one in my life who will “go there” and talk about the “what ifs”.

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AND you will notice that this is not October, the usual time for the pink fluff about breast cancer awareness. So I will be bold and also include THAT question and its honest answer.

Do you feel that those of us living with metastatic disease are overlooked by the pink tide of awareness for early stage cancer in October? How would you change that?

Colleen: Oh my gosh YES are we ever overlooked by the pink fluffy wave of breast cancer awareness! I want to hide away during the whole month of October. Early detection is great and if it saves lives I’m all for it–but the reality is it is not a fool proof method. The public has NO idea that 30% of all folks who get breast cancer will one day be diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer–that’s far too many people. And where is the funding???? Stop selling pink toilet brushes which only put profits in the manufacturer’s hands and let’s start getting some funding for research into metastatic disease! It is only by learning as much as we can as to what causes the cancer to spread that we will be able to stop it. I want people to know that what happened to me could happen to any one of them. While I don’t ever wish it, that is the simple reality.

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And yes, there is one more thing that we can do...

What is one “action” point everyone could do TODAY to promote awareness of MBC.

Some how we need to get the word out about metastatic breast cancer; that it is the breast cancer that kills 40,000 folks in the U.S. each year. Folks who are lucky enough to live outside the world of breast cancer have NO idea that early detection is not the end all, be all. Our society has become so pink and fluffy I’d hazard to bet that many people are not even aware that thousands of women - many of them young - are dying from breast cancer each day. Once the world becomes more aware, funding needs to be directed towards researching a cure. Metastatic breast cancer receives a woefully small amount of funding for research from the whole cancer fundraising machine, that has got to change.

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Read the rest of the post here.