We women can choose to admire Jada Smith for going public about her condition or we can be annoyed by her show of confidence. We can have opinions about her choices. We can even assume we know whether it really bothers her or not. I mean, if it did, she could just wear a wig; right?
Takes me back to days of cancer and chemotherapy… I had no clue about the process of hair loss nor the options about how to deal with it. I’m grateful for the people who supported me. My hair stylist, Steph, referred me to Shawn who helped me find a wig that I could be happy with.
Problem solved; right?
Except that… Hair loss can make one’s scalp so tender that wearing a wig becomes painful. I did not know that. And wearing a wig can be really hot. So then what does one do?
Shawn had ideas. Because she had alopecia, she had already walked this journey and had tried stuff out. In fact she had started a business to provide all kinds of resources to help others deal with their loss. I remember her telling me about how she often chose to sport the bald look or just wear a baseball cap. I also remember thinking I could never do that!
But I did. Eventually. I wore my wig for awhile, but I also began to try out other things that might bolster my confidence. Gradually I settled into a routine of wearing caps most of the time - because that’s what seemed to work for me.
I am grateful for this woman who took her own personal loss and turned it into a way to help other women going through a scary time of loss and uncertainty. I appreciated her patience and her expertise in selecting my wig and then trimming it up to be just right for me. And now almost 20 years later I remember her compassion and her sensitivity and willingness to teach me and assist me in trying out various solutions for my unique circumstance.
Today when I hear people say that Jada Smith is NOT sensitive about her hair loss - and they “prove” their point by speaking of her confidence and her openness about it, I’m reminded of that emotional roller coaster.
I admire Jada for using her platform to increase awareness for this condition that threatens to be debilitating for women who experience it. But I can also imagine a teeny bit of what her private journey might be like as she processes this hard thing. I’m impressed that she has chosen to do much of it publicly.
Evidently photos from my bald era
are pretty much non-existent;
hence, the catalog picture.
To be the kind of person who uses our difficulties and losses in a way that helps other people is to be admired. I appreciate these two stellar examples.
…
Oh, and one other thing…
During that private journey…
the part behind closed doors…
the tears and the fears...
the uncertainty and the confidence crises…
the melt-downs…
before we open the door and step out into the public…
Sometimes there is a husband who knows about all of those moments…
Who knows how hard it really is…
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