Last July was too sad for me

It was a hard month, July of last year.

It began with the news that a cousin was gone unexpectedly.

He was a good guy.

We didn't know each other well but were working to rectify that.  After we landed in Flint, he pointed out how close we lived to each other. Close enough to meet up for coffee at my favorite cafe. We had already reconnected on-line and were intentionally getting to know each other.

I had been impressed with how James had come alongside our parents to assist and augment the family history project they had worked on for decades.  His intelligence, organizational skills, and computer expertise had been instrumental in strengthening family ties and annual reunions.

As I recall, we lived maybe 40-50 miles apart when we were kids. His family would come to our house at least once every summer.  I remember his parents as wonderfully kind and congenial; my parents dearly loved them as family and friends. 

 

At some point during those years, they began that big project together - or maybe I was just becoming aware of it.  I have no clue about all the work that went on behind the scenes, but I do have vivid memories of the huge scroll of paper containing the carefully drawn family tree rolled out on the table.  And I do know that several family members would later benefit from their research and would make pilgrimages to family landmarks in Ireland.

Lots of memories - but in limited arenas.  There was much more to both of us than shared family history and limited memories.  Now that we were grown-ups we wished to know more of the big picture of each of us. About who we are in real life.  I think it became important to both of us; at least it definitely was for me.  Something I enjoyed and looked forward to continuing. But we were too slow; the pandemic came along and spoiled those plans along with so many others.

But... without warning, he was gone.  The news hit me harder than I might have expected.  I mean, sometimes we don’t even hear about the loss of distant cousins.  But this felt different.  Besides the loss of another wonderful family member, it also felt like the loss of possibility.  Of plans and potential good times. Of friendship.

July was starting out to be sad…

And then on the fourth day of the month, my dear sister-in-love left us.  We knew she would be leaving, but there was no way to prepare for her to be gone.  She was my soul-mate. The sister I never had but had always wished for.  After nearly 50 years of getting acquainted, we were just getting started.  There was still so much I needed to learn from her.  So much we needed to tell each other.  We tried, but we ran out of time.

Sure enough, July continued to be sad…

In the meantime our dear friend and neighbor was terribly ill and might not survive the month.  Almost, but not quite.  On the last day of July, he was also gone.  He had been such a good friend to us when we first moved here and on through the pandemic.  Then again, he was just really good at being kind and befriending people and helping with all kinds of things.  

'Twas a sad month from start to finish…

And now it’s a year later.

We’ve made it through another July.

I needed to pause again, to sit with these losses yet again.

I’m still sad.

On the other hand I am also grateful… to have known three such wonderful people.

• Dr. James, Jimmy, family historian, good guy - kinda’ like his folks
• Dear sweet Karina, sister, encourager, challenger
• Neighbor Ron, good buddy, friend to everybody, great builder of guitars

My life is richer for having known each one.