March to March

A year ago we barely knew what a pandemic was.

We’d heard about them in different parts of the world.

Couldn’t happen here.

But it did.

People got sick

People we know

And people we don’t know

Fear, confusion, frustration

Too many voices contradicting each other

Is there an end in sight?

Maybe a vaccine

In record time, but it seemed so slow.

The curve flattened…

Then another surge 

And another

Finally

A year later

After waiting in line 

A few of us get the call

A few more

Shots in arms

Photos on Facebook

Celebration

Robust reactions

Compared notes

Sighs of relief

More people get sick

Somebody else dies

Somebody we know 

As we get our vaccine

It’s not over

We can’t quit

Just like real life

We must keep on

Cautious and careful

Precaution and kindness

Take care of ourselves and each other

Common sense

Common courtesy

Compassion

Dark stories

Frodo:  I can't do this, Sam.

Sam:  I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo:  What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam:  That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for. 

    - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers 

What works?

I am full of big ideas. I easily come up with things that I really want to do but then I often struggle to follow through on making them happen. Then I get all discouraged and feel like a failure.  

• What’s wrong with me?
• Why can’t I manage to do what I really wanted to do?

...

But… 

I am changing.  

Mostly I’m changing the questions.  

Instead of asking what’s wrong with me, I try to notice what is working or not working about the system or methods I’m using.

 

Now I ask:

• Is this working?
• What is working about it?
• What is not working?
• How can I tweak the process to make it work better?

Might be a subtle shift, but it’s working!

See what I did there?

I notice that I don’t get so down on myself about failing.

Instead of wallowing in that murky mess of guilt or failure, I can objectively examine what’s working or not working and figure out how to make it better.  

It’s no longer about my worth.  

It is simply about finding what works.

Which might take experimentation.

Try stuff out.

Because anything worth doing is worth trying stuff out; right?

On this date...

Facebook memories...  You know I love 'em!

January 31... through the years

2009

... Just talked to Angie!  Yippee!!!

(My daughter was on the other side of the globe.)

2010

... had a great time with the kids.

(Family gathered after above daughter arrived home from India.)

2011

We got Skype working so we can call Wendi in Cairo!

(Another daughter on the other side of the world - six blocks from Tahrir Square where the Arab Spring had just erupted.)

They are staying in/near their apartment which seems safer than trying to travel anywhere.  They go out every couple days for food.  She didn't mention bread lines or shortages. One potential problem is not being able to access their funds with banks and ATM's closed.  Which is another reason for them to stay put where they have a place already paid for.

2012

Off to the dentist...

2013

We are in Samana today - taking care of business.

(... in the Dominican Republic)

I'm sitting at the Bahia Azul while Bob hikes out on los puentes to the islands. 

Just received a lovely tropical entree that should be photographed... if my photographer were here...

Cocktail de camarones - shrimp, lettuce, pineapple, etc.

So lovely! And tasty, too.

2014

I guess it never occurred to me that we might be surrounded by Spanish this winter.

(...living in Southern California for five months)

Now I just have to improve my own fluency - although we did watch a movie in Spanish the other night.

...

I'm pretty sure I would be buying donuts from next door while my clothes are in the dryer if only I had some cash money with me.  ...  There are SO many donut places in this town!  Almost as many as the number of Mexican restaurants or Mexican markets!

2015

2016

Comfort. That's what I miss today.

And convenience.

Comfort and convenience, but mostly comfort.

Adventures are often not comfortable.

... also 2016

Bird sounds.

Lots of birds

Some loud, some soft and sweet

Chirping various tunes

Together and separately

Polyphonic music

That's what I notice today.

Bird sounds...

And just now a new sound I've never heard.

Really raucous, almost like squawking, and then long and loud.

Right in the hedge just below me!

Almost jumped out of my chair, I did!

2017

"It makes me feel all sorts of sad and angry and scared and helpless and overwhelmed."

- an exact quote from an article I just read

- also a summary of things I'm hearing from lots of people

So...

... maybe we ought to be extra kind to each other these days - whether or not we understand or agree with others' concerns.

Maybe we could even try to understand why they are upset.

But yah, at least we can be nice.

2018

"It's easy to be heavy; hard to be light."

- G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

2019

Okay; I'll play. Why not?

How old are you?    68

Surgeries?        Yep

Tattoes?        Nope

Ever hit a deer?    Nope

Ridden in an ambulance? Not that I can remember

Ice skated?      I wish

Ridden on a motorcycle?    Yes

Stayed in hospital?    Yes

Last phone call?    My mom

Last text from?    Emergency Alert

Watched someone die? Yes

Pepsi or Coke?     Not really

Favorite pie?      Pecan

Favorite pizza toppings?    Bacon, ham, onion, but light on the sauce, please!

Favorite season?    Spring or fall

Broken bones?    None

Received a ticket?    No, sir

Favorite color?    Blue

Sunrise or sunset?    Sunrise

Favorite alcohol?    I don't know yet

... also 2019

I like my town!

2020

Word of the day: sagacious

Having or showing acute mental discernment and keen practical sense; shrewd

Socrates, that sagacious Greek philosopher, believed that the easiest way to learn was by asking questions

Focus

 2020 vision

A year ago I wrote about vision and focus and perspective… and the fact that I sometimes struggle to keep my focus on the “right” things. The important stuff.   I was referring to the fact that other things around us are constantly vying for our attention and that I am easily distracted.  I was hoping to focus on becoming more focused… or something… during 2020.  

You could say that 2020 did not go as planned; right?  We quickly found ourselves in a different world than we had ever imagined.  To say that our focus changed is a huge understatement.  

Suddenly, more than ever, so many things screamed for our attention and continue to demand our focus.  Many of them are negative.  Sad and scary and often downright frightening.  Frustrating and heartbreaking.  AND things that make us angry and that threaten to destroy our relationships and our communities.  

It has become so hard to look away…  

To pull our focus from the horrible… and toward the worthwhile.  

To seek and find the good.  

To believe the best. 

To choose to be the good.  

To contribute to that which builds and heals.

Photo by Jenna Hamra from Pexels

I admitted a year ago that I needed to get better at choosing my focus.

And now as I stand in this moment, I’m not sure it has EVER been so difficult.

Nor so important.

For all of us.

Life and health depend on it.

We must choose wisely.