Golden

Fifty years!

How could it be?

…

Guests could start arriving soon so we all headed inside to get cleaned up and dressed up.  When I came downstairs and noticed Riley’s gold shoes I told her that this is our Golden Anniversary.  “That’s what Grandpa said!” she laughed.

…

Golden Anniversary  

1971 to 2021

Not sure I ever thought much about the chances of making it to 50 years.  

People who celebrate Golden Anniversaries are old; right?  

Maybe I didn’t often imagine myself getting old.  

And suddenly here we are.  I don’t feel old.  Well, except for those stiff joints.  

But how did we get here so quickly?    

And why are we the lucky ones who get to be together this long?  

Some people call it an accomplishment.

Others ask what’s the secret.

I don’t think there’s any secret.  

No magic formula. 

Maybe we’re just lucky.

Blessed.

I don’t know why we get to celebrate this milestone.  

But I guess that’s the way with privilege.  No rhyme or reason to it.

…

Eugene, one of our foreign exchange students, texted greetings from Russia.  He said that they call the 50th a golden anniversary there.  We told him we do here as well.

Bob’s mom gifted us with a gold plate.  Well, a plate with gold trim.  A family heirloom.  It was given to her parents on their 50th wedding anniversary in 1962.  Grandma Grody left the plate to Mom & Dad Sims who then celebrated the golden milestone in 1995. ... How cool that Mom is still alive to pass it on to us and celebrate with us.  Wow.  Such a thing gives one pause. We feel honored. Privileged. Blessed.

I still don’t know why we are so fortunate. So blessed.

Why us?

Why did we both survive cancer when so many friends and family members didn’t?

Maybe there is no answer.

But one thing we know.

We know that it is a gift - one that we definitely appreciate. 

Cherish.

Celebrate.

We are grateful. 

Because gratitude is pretty much always a good idea.

Gratitude is golden.

On this date

 Has it really been 25 years?

Sure enough; my dad has been gone 25 years.

That feels significant - partly because we were in the midst of celebrating 25 years of marriage when he died - and sure enough we are now celebrating 50 years - a milestone he and my mom did not get to celebrate.

My thoughts wander in several directions.

It’s weird to think that my dad was around for only half of our married life.

I remember the night Bob asked him for my hand in marriage.

I remember the day he walked me down the aisle.

I remember so many things he did for us and with us.

And while remembering, I can’t help but wonder what he would have thought of some of our crazy adventures in this second half.  He might have privately questioned our judgment, but he would have been gracious.

…

Today is a busy day for me in my new life but I’m glad for the moments to pause and think of my dad and for the memories I carry with me today and always.

The month of May

What happened to May?  Seems like it just arrived and already it is packing up to leave.  Hard to believe.  

May has always been my favorite month.

I’ve written about that a time or two.

I was expecting May 2020 to be extra special because of my milestone birthday, but then COVID changed everything.  Now here we are wrapping up another May. This one was been unique in that we are starting to emerge from the pandemic.  Having become a bit more in tune with my own mental health during these months, I have been determined to engage slowly and deliberately.  For example, I am learning to embrace my introvert side and to stand with her when the FOMO side starts teasing and taunting.  

Yes, I still have symptoms of that old “Fear of Missing Out” but I hope that I’m a little healthier these days.  

Yes, I will miss out on things.  

Yes, I will feel badly about some of them.  

But I simply cannot do all the things.  

I have to make choices.  Duh.  

I must say no to lots of cool ideas - so that I can say yes to my top priorities.

 

Perhaps quarantine will have strengthened my resolve. Maybe. 

I hear people say they are not going to take on so much after this.

I see lists of the things “we” are deciding not to re-introduce to daily life.

I nod in agreement and whole-hearted assent.

And I wonder if we will follow through.

I wonder what our calendars will look like next year at this time.

Maybe I need to start with my monthly planning.  

Maybe my new goals and dreams are where the rubber meets the road.  

Maybe instead of trying to improve my P.R. or the number miles I put on my bike or my feet, I will choose to watch for other markers.  

Maybe I will be more alert to really important stuff.  

Like…  noticing that I was snippy with somebody or that I’m dominating conversation.  I am not putting myself down, but noticing little things that could be symptoms of deeper things.  

Pausing to wonder WHY I’m feeling resentful. 

Taking time to take inventory of my mental and emotional health.

Working “the program” as my dear friend taught me years ago.

And then being responsive to what I discover.

To assess how I’m really doing.

To tweak my schedule and my goals for the next weeks.

Yearly goals never worked for me but monthly increments work well - for goals and plans and assessment.  A month is short enough to make needed changes and course corrections and long enough to actually make some progress.  Monthly goals are here to stay, but I don’t have a firm plan for what that means - simply because that seems to keep changing as I keep learning and adjusting.  I’m pretty okay with that.

This blog space is one example.  

Some months I post only once - which can seem almost silly.

But it is one of my hard goals that I try to keep: post at least once/month.  

Doing so is considered success in my book.

So here I am.

Blogging in May.

Success.

AND it has given me a chance to process some of my other hopes and dreams.

My book

I’m writing a book.
I have been since November.

November is National Novel Writing Month.

I have participated eleven times now, but this time I did something different.

This time… instead of filing it away and turning my attention elsewhere…

This time I kept the file open… and I finished that very rough first draft… 

Then I started editing.  

And then again.

And now 5 months later, I just finished Draft #6 and sent it to my beta readers!

I am so pumped.  

Not sure when I’ve ever hung in there and stayed focused this long.  

But I need to keep going…   One deadline at a time.

Can’t quit now!!!  

...

Later note - months later:

I did keep going... one step at a time.

I didn't quit.

That project did become a real book!

March to March

A year ago we barely knew what a pandemic was.

We’d heard about them in different parts of the world.

Couldn’t happen here.

But it did.

People got sick

People we know

And people we don’t know

Fear, confusion, frustration

Too many voices contradicting each other

Is there an end in sight?

Maybe a vaccine

In record time, but it seemed so slow.

The curve flattened…

Then another surge 

And another

Finally

A year later

After waiting in line 

A few of us get the call

A few more

Shots in arms

Photos on Facebook

Celebration

Robust reactions

Compared notes

Sighs of relief

More people get sick

Somebody else dies

Somebody we know 

As we get our vaccine

It’s not over

We can’t quit

Just like real life

We must keep on

Cautious and careful

Precaution and kindness

Take care of ourselves and each other

Common sense

Common courtesy

Compassion