How would my dad treat this person?

I am heartbroken these days by the scary things happening to so many people in our world.  I so often wonder what I can do to help… and feel like I can’t do enough.

Today is my dad’s birthdate so I’ve been thinking about him and reading through some things people have said about him - like the former neighbor who said “this world needs more Lee D’Arcy’s” - which reminded me that we can continue his legacy.  The things we saw in him are things that the world needs.  Those things give us an example we can continue.  

I paused to remember some of the comments I often hear repeated about him:

• He always took time to ask how we were doing
• He listened to what mattered to us
• He might disagree with someone but still love them
• He always made me feel special

Sure enough, the tactics my dad practiced could be helpful to the people I know who are struggling or fearful about the future.  Making someone feel special or listened to is definitely a good place to start.

So now I want to read some of these other things I’ve collected about him…

... as seen on Facebook

 “You think your pain and your heartbreak 

are unprecedented in the history of the world, 

but then you read. 

It was books that taught me 

that the things that tormented me most 

were the very things that connected me

with all the people who were alive, 

who had ever been alive.”

     — James Baldwin 

54 years

 Hey Bob Sims, I'm so glad we found each other

...and that we decided to spend the rest of our lives together

... and build a family

But first you surprised me by building us a house!!!

And an amazing house it was!

We took some trips, did some hiking and camping.

Somewhere during those crazy wonderful years, 

we also planted a Christmas tree farm

But then came the day, much to our surprise, when we decided to walk away from that farm and live on the road, here and there, for awhile.

I'm glad we took the chance to collect some more memories in the Dominican Republic...

...but I'm also grateful for that little ole' fifth-wheel RV we found and for the years we lived in that amazing rig.

Thanks for listening to my heart when I realized I needed to get back to Michigan to be near the little guys.

And then I listened to YOUR heart when you felt like you were ready for a project... because you needed something to do with your hands.  It's pretty cool that we have learned to hear each other.

So...we bought a house with "a table big enough for us to all sit..." 

In the meantime, there was more camping and travel and fun with the kids.

Turns out the house project was so much fun that you decided to do another one across the street.  Sure enough you found something ELSE to do with your hands!

I am so terribly thankful for these years together.  

For the wonderful people in our lives

For the miles we have been privileged to travel

For the beaches we've discovered

For the amazing houses you have built and rescued and restored

What a guy!  

Bob the builder

Bob the re-builder

Bob the legend

And I am incredibly grateful that as the seasons come and go...

At the end of the day and the end of our energy...

And it's time for rocking and relaxing...

I'm so stinkin' glad it's still you and me, babe.

Holiday thoughts

 On this Memorial Day, I pause to think of some things that I really don’t understand.  Things like war and peace and structures of government and patriotism.  Things like those who serve our country with honor and valor and integrity.  

But I also think about those who "serve" with little to no integrity or honor. Those who use power to support their own greed. Those who deal in corruption and oppression. I think (several times a day!) about the horrific mess the world is in.  I am embarrassed by my own country’s part in so many of the messes. 

I often feel hopeless about those whose lives are being torn apart and who can find no safety - and those whose meager food supply is stopped by big cranky egotistical politicians. Sometimes I just want to shake people or scold them into behaving better - as if THAT would work!!!

I wish I knew what to do to make things better.  The only thing I’ve come up with is to respond in an opposite spirit.  When I see corrupt powerful people shame and harm helpless people, I try to remind myself to watch for opportunities to build people up.  To elevate them. To contribute to their safety and/or wellbeing.  

I also watch for other people who are successfully helping the oppressed and making the world a better place.  They give me hope.   And they inspire me to keep trying.

For my own sanity and mental health, I’m learning to limit my exposure to such awful words and deeds from the bullies out there.  Instead I choose to pay attention to and promote the work of those who are protecting and caring for the ones who are being bullied.  I really like people who stand up for people who are bullied. Those who show compassion rather than contempt.

And I discover that there are a WHOLE LOT of them out there.

Hallelujah!

Grandma Betty

It is May... so of course I am thinking about my mom... especially today on her birthday.

She was indeed incredible.  Loved by so many... probably because she pretty much loved EVERYbody!

She was a shining example

Of light and cheer

Goodness and courage

Kindness and generosity

Friendship and helpfulness

And... she was famous for her homemade bread!!!

Please excuse me while I peruse a few more of the great photos of her.  Or feel free to follow me back to some of these other posts.  To see them in some semblance of order, you can scroll to the bottom and work your way back up to the top of the page.