Missing church - or not

             "Do you miss church?"

That's what she asked me - and then must have remembered all the things I had said about being so grateful to be free...

So she rephrased the question:  I mean, like... Do you miss worship?

That's when I knew that she was a church-goer. An insider. ... Because an outsider or casual attender would probably not use the term "worship" - which is the insider label for the music at the beginning of a church service.

Do I miss church?

What a strange question.

No, I don't mean that it is a strange question to ask, but I mean that it feels strange to try to answer it. After being an insider myself for SIX DECADES, I never would have imagined being on the outside. If someone had asked me that question then, whether I would miss church if I didn't attend... Well, of course, I would. I mean, it was my life! My social network, my ministry, my job - for Pete's sake! I would not have been able to imagine life without church.

But now, six years out... Now it's hard to think of something I miss.

Do I miss the music?

Let's see; sometimes I miss playing in the band. Sometimes. But not often. But the music in general? Nope. In fact, and this will sound really harsh to some, but I can barely stand to listen to some Christian music now. This is not the time or place to go into detail, but let's just say it reminds me of some of the very things with which I can no longer agree.

Do I miss the mentoring opportunities?

Not really, because I still have them. More than ever. More opportunities than I can find the time to keep up with. Turns out you don't have to be inside a church to love people and walk together with Jesus.  Imagine that.

Do I miss the social structure?
Fellowship events?

If you mean church potlucks, well, then, nope, I do not.

If you mean relationships, well, not really - because relationships do not depend on social events. Sure, there is the ease of staying connected, but it does not guarantee real relationship. And yes, we have to work harder at relationships when we are not automatically and regularly bumping into each other in that context. But I seem to remember hearing that the best things in life are worth working for.

Do I miss the sermons?

Actually, I have only just begun going through my piles and piles of notebooks that are full of sermon notes that I have not yet put into practice. I realized long ago that our sermon system was not a terribly effective way of fostering spiritual growth.

On that note, there IS something I miss. I miss the times of discussion after a sermon where we plopped down on the front pews and hammered out what it all really meant and how to apply it to our lives that week. You know; that handful of times when a bunch of us hung out for hours and really talked. And we said we should do it more often. Now that I think about it, I guess I've been in more of those discussions in these past six years outside than in the sixty on the inside. So, nope, I don't have to miss that.

...

Oh, I know something else I don't miss. I don't miss being interrogated about why we didn't attend a certain event - especially when we were actively involved in a half-dozen other "services" or church meetings that very same week. Nor do I miss being "scolded" for not measuring up to someone's expectations.

...

So do I miss church?

If you mean dressing up in my Sunday best to attend worship service at the sacred hour of 11 a.m., I have to say I don't miss it.

But if you mean gathering with believers to talk about what Jesus said and how we can live it out... I guess I 'd have to say that I don't miss that either - BECAUSE we can still do that. And we do.

AND we can meet with all brands of other "outsiders" and can have deep discussion about what we do and don't know to be true about God. Where we can reason together about faith and science and grace and all kinds of issues. The type of discussions that would never happen inside the four walls.