So lucky. So jealous.

"You're so lucky"

"I'm so jealous"

...

You've heard it.

You know the story.

Person makes difficult decisions and works hard for long period of time to achieve a goal.

Person's friend responds: You're so lucky! I wish I could do that!

You've been that person. Or maybe you've been the friend.

I've been both.  The person who said it and the person to whom it was said.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

In this space, I've wondered about how in the world we got here from where we were. 

I've marveled about how we are sometimes given things for which we can take no credit.

I've recounted our experience of coming to the place of deciding we wanted to get un-stuck.

Most recently I've been trying to figure out to relate my realization that sometimes we can make our own luck.

I put words on a page and then I rearrange them and set them aside for another day. In the meantime, someone else says some of what I was trying to say. Actually that happens quite often; I get an idea to write about something and I mull it over for days or weeks and try to figure out how to say it - and then someone comes along and says it so well.

I don't mind so much this time because it was my daughter in her latest blog post. In one paragraph she clarifies some of what I've been trying to articulate on this topic:

"We are jealous of others for what they have, what they own, what they do, who they have, and how they excel.  We tell ourselves they are simply lucky and “I just don’t get to have that, own that, do that, be with that person, or be good at that.”  By the way, “lucky” is the term miserable jealous people who do nothing to change their own circumstances use to describe those who seem happy as a result of making positive changes to their own circumstances.  So we don’t bother to try.  We don’t bother to figure out if what they have is even what we want.  We don’t bother to figure out if it something we might be able to have if we work hard enough.  We don’t even bother to consider if they sacrificed something to get it that we simply aren’t willing to sacrifice." 
 

 

I am so, so glad that I did not get stuck forever in that miserable rut of being jealous for the good fortune of others. Of being unhappy with my own situation. Instead we were awakened to the fact that sometimes we can make our own luck. I no longer need to be jealous of other people's choices or their blessings. Instead we could begin to figure out what it was that we really wanted and to decide what we were willing to sacrifice to get there.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

I do NOT wish for this post to become scolding. Instead I hope that it will give someone encouragement to turn your obstacles into opportunities. I suppose we've all been guilty of saying "You're so lucky" or "Must be nice!" or "I'm so jealous" or "I could never do that"...

Actually let me pick on that last one: "I could never do that."

I guess that one highlights my motivation for writing this post. Because you see, that's what I thought - about lots of things. "I could never do that." Maybe I didn't feel capable. Or cool enough. Or rich enough. Or strong enough. Or skinny enough. Or pretty enough. Or lucky enough. Or something. Whatever the reason, the point is I thought I could never do it.

I guess I thought it about lots of things. Maybe I still do about some things. But I'm happy to report that there are some areas where I have changed. I thought I could never let go of my home, but I've surprised myself and most everybody in the world. I thought I could never get rid of all the stuff that filled our huge house, but I have made great progress.

...

Bottom line:

Yes, I may have heard myself say that I could never do that.

But I did.

I've changed.

I have done things I never could have imagined.

And so can you.

...

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           ... or see the entire series here.