December 30: a significant date

Calendar dates can be very significant.  

December 30 has become one of those significant dates for me. 

It was the date that I became a grandma at age 60.

It was also the date that we headed out for a new adventure, living life on the road for a few months at a time.

Six years ago today, December 30, 2013, we headed out on our big adventure - with a few fears about the unknown and lots of hopes and dreams.  It’s fun for me to look back at those months and revisit the links to things I have written about the various spots and to share them with my readers.

Three years earlier we had decided to downsize and sell the tree farm.  We thought it would be fun to explore other places for awhile before deciding what to do next.  So we sorted and pitched stuff for two years while trying to sell the farm. Buyers came and went but without being able to put together a purchase.  Eventually we found renters for the big house and moved ourselves into the cabins out by the road - first one and then the other.

We found the perfect RV for us and headed out toward the American Southwest on this date, December 30, 2013 anticipating the adventures ahead.

We lived in our little rig in Southern California where we served as work-campers in a small county park for the winter and spring.

In the summer we drove north to Canada and the Alaska Highway. We were able to get a campsite just behind the Black Bear Cafe where our daughter worked as a manager and barista. ’Twas a glorious 5 weeks to live in that place and get acquainted with her Denali world.  

Autumn brought the final sale of the tree farm so we got rid of more stuff and packed the rest of it away in a storage unit because the 28-foot fifth-wheel was now our only home.

December 30, 2014 saw us hitting the road again for another winter in the south. This time we lived on three different islands for a month each:

• January - Dauphin Island, Alabama
• February - Anastasia Island, St. Augustine, Florida
• March - Emerald Isle, North Carolina

We rented a campsite in southeastern Michigan for the spring and summer and then moved to the west side of the state to welcome a new grand-daughter in September.  

We also lived at a lighthouse in western Michigan for two weeks serving as volunteers in the tower and the gift shop.

December 30, 2015 found us in Rockford, Michigan, wrapping up the year and preparing to return to the little village of Las Galeras in Samana, Dominican Republic, for the winter. 

By December 30, 2016 we had come off the road and were experimenting with the idea of staying in one place again - namely Michigan - in closer proximity to our moms and our kids and where we could hang out with Internationals, a long-time dream of ours.  

Sure enough; by December 30, 2017 we had decided to put down roots again - even buying a an old fixer-upper house in a historical neighborhood near downtown and the universities.

And here we are on December 30, 2019 still living "off the road" and loving our new life in our old house...

Let it begin with me...

Let there be peace on earth - and let it begin with me.

I’ve always liked that song.  Seems like a noble sentiment - and I have fairly easily assented to the challenge it contains. 

So I didn’t mind when I saw it listed as the last song in the Holiday Pops program. 

But then Angie Hendershot from ABC 12 talked about how desperately peace is needed in our world these days and challenged the crowd to sing it together while pondering how to work for peace on earth.  I thought it might be pretty inspiring to be singing these lines together with hundreds of neighbors.

Okay; I might have gotten a little choked up.
May this be my solemn vow, huh?

Wow.

On this date

Sixteen years ago today…  2003...  Cancer diagnosis

'Twas  a scary time for sure.

Since that year, lots of other memories on this date...

2011

• Officially the grandma of a toddler...  Little munchkin has taken off since I last saw her. Those tentative steps have gained confidence & direction & determination. The best way to describe what she does is "toddle" - so stinkin' cute!
• Also enjoyed rocking this little grand-daughter in the chair that my mom rocked me in when I was little!
• We didn't know it then but that was our last Christmas in that room. The last time the kids came home to Hidden Hollows for Christmas!

2012 and 2013 - living in the log cabin and feeling thankful

2014 

• Living in Angie's basement
• Lying on a table in another hospital for yet another medical test

2015 - living in another basement, somebody else's basement that we rented for two months...

2016 - living in an apartment - grateful to be near family

2017 and 2018 and now - living in our new/old house and loving life

And so they come and go...  good days and bad days through the years.  I am so grateful as I look back on them all.

The gift of un-busy

"Slow down.

Clear your calendar.

Take time to breathe deeply
and enjoy the season."

A few years ago I worked hard to get to a place of un-busy.  Sure enough, I very much enjoyed the feeling of simplicity.  I asked myself about that the other day - how I did it and why I let it slip away.

Oh, yah, it was because we were out there living on the road…

• Away from our world and our peeps
• Away from our roots.
• Away from friends and family
• Away from any kind of social life
• Away from time commitments

It was nice to not be so busy.  

To not always be scurrying or feeling behind

But it wasn’t perfect.

I missed my peeps, those little grands, our kids, and dear friends.

I missed having at least a bit of a social life.

So here we are a couple years later and we’ve again put down roots. Even though we knew hardly anyone when we moved here, we found ourselves surrounded by wonderful people who soon became friends.  Options and opportunities abound in this place so I just had to try everything.  

Until I couldn’t.

Until I remembered that I can’t do it all.

That I might have to re-teach myself how to pick and choose only the best.  I had to admit that my old tendency to over-commit had returned with a vengeance.  I needed to step back and make some changes.

For three months now I have been intentionally finding my way back toward un-busy.  Not there yet, but I am beginning to breathe easier.

This would be the perfect spot for my magical list of three easy steps to find un-busy.  Sorry; I haven’t found time to come up with a neat list all tied up with a bow.  I’m still in the trenches on this - reminding myself to notice how I’m doing and to ask the hard questions about my choices.  I’m still finding my way back to sanity.  I choose to give myself the gift of un-busy again.  To live at a healthy pace.

Maybe next month I can come up with a handy-dandy list.  

Or maybe not.

King Friday XIII

Once upon a time there was a wonderful neighborhood ruled by King Friday XIII.  I had known of the neighborhood before because of Mister Rogers, but had never spent much time there until recently.  In the last few months I have been so impressed by Mister Rogers and wanted to know more about him.  

Just this week I was introduced to King Friday XIII having only heard of him.  Turns out that he is “the imperious monarch of the neighborhood."  According to Wikipedia, "he is relatively egocentric, irrational, resistant to change, and temperamental, although open-minded enough to listen when told he is wrong. He has a fondness for giving long-winded speeches and using big words.”

Yikes!  He feels really familiar to me - maybe because I am a little like him…  

• Relatively egocentric, huh?  ...Yep, but then aren’t we all?
• Irrational?  ...Okay, sometimes guilty.
• Resistant to change?  Oh, dear; that could be me.
• Giving long-winded speeches and using big words?  ...Seriously?!?  Yah; don’t ask my family about that one!

I certainly did not expect to discover how much I am like King Friday. To the contrary, here I have been really hoping to emulate the mild-mannered Mister Rogers.  I am convinced that the world would be a better place if more of us would learn to be more like him.  Because you see, there are lots of us who are egocentric, irrational, resistant to change, temperamental, and yes, even imperious*.

The most obvious trait I want to learn is that of kindness.  Mister Rogers used to say… “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.”

Yah, sounds redundant and maybe even silly; right?  

But it gives me pause.  

That’s the way I want to live my life.

That’s who I want to be - someone who treats all people with kindness.

So how do I do that?

Perhaps by following yet another of his examples - that of listening.  Really listening.  Listening to learn how it feels to be in the other person’s shoes. That kind of deep listening requires me to become comfortable with silence. To give myself time to think before reacting.

Oof!!! I admit that I am not good at that one! Silence can feel awkward, as if it needs to be filled. But Mister Rogers believed that “Silence is one of the greatest gifts we have.” 

Oh, dear. Here I’ve been saying all week that I want to be like Mister Rogers and then I find out that I might be more like King Friday! How will I ever upgrade to those more admirable traits?

But wait; there was one other trait that I might share with King Friday…  One that I’m kind of happy about.  I did notice that he is “open-minded enough to listen when told he is wrong.”

Good for him!!!

And good for me when I can do that.

Because that’s how I can become better. If I can be open-minded enough to listen, then maybe I can be kinder and more understanding…

But then...  even while I’m trying to be better...

What’s that I hear off in the distance... ?

“You are special and I like you just the way you are.”

Thanks, Mister Rogers!

I’m learning to like me just the way I am, too.

And that’s another really good step toward liking other people just the way they are.

...

* Vocab words for you to look up...