Two days. Eleven years.

Two days before Christmas.

Eleven years ago today. That day when I got the bad news. What we feared had come true. Yes, it was cancer. Two days before Christmas.

Yesterday. Lying on a table in another hospital for yet another medical test. Couldn't help but remember those days eleven years ago. The feelings and emotions. The crazy and complicated thought processes.

So much has happened in those eleven years. I survived cancer. Twice. I am grateful. So terribly grateful. I love life.

Life is different these days. Far less certainty these days. Lots more adventure. I've had to adjust to the idea of living with the unknown and the uncertain. I've chosen to embrace it - or at least I'm starting to.

Uncertainty pervades my life. I have no permanent address. I rather like the uncertainty. Or at least I appreciate the benefits of it. I think that I don't take things for granted like I used to. I think that I am even more grateful than I used to be. More aware of my blessings.

Uncertainty makes me a better person. I think. During the years of being so sure of what I believed and what I valued may have caused me to be a teensy bit rigid. And arrogant. Yes, I admit it. Having my certainty shaken up a bit has hopefully made me more flexible and more compassionate. Hopefully.